Have you met someone you'd like to start talking to? Are you too shy for him to start a conversation? Are you afraid he's not interested? Do not fear. Read on.
Steps
Step 1. Get noticed
Admit it, sometimes you just don't want to be seen. Try to affirm your presence even on the worst days. If they act like they don't notice you, they probably do. Go to the places he frequents. Put yourself at the center of attention. Let him know you're alive.
Step 2. Smile
This is probably the stereotype par excellence, but it really works! If you smile, you can give the impression that it is easier to get close to you and also more pleasant and fun to be next to you.
Step 3. Get close to him
If he's shy, chances are he's not taking the first step. Bring some friends to make the situation less awkward and sit next to him.
Step 4. Talk
Start a conversation with him like you would any other friend. Say hello to him. Introduce yourself if they don't already know you. Ask him how his day is going. Speak, speak, speak.
Step 5. Make him feel comfortable
If you just try to pick him up and drag him into a conversation that he just doesn't want to participate in, you will scare him off and in all likelihood he will walk away. Keep calm. Stay relaxed and don't be pushy. In all likelihood, a shy person likes quiet things.
Step 6. Ask him about his interests
If the conversation is still going well, dig deeper. Ask him what kind of music he listens to. Ask him who his friends are. If you let him know that you are interested in knowing him as he really is and not just finding out if he is single or not, you will surely help him to open up to you.
Step 7. Laugh
Play a few jokes to show him that you are comfortable with him, so he should be comfortable with you as well. Tell him about your annoying teachers or classmates. Point out something funny that is happening on the other side of the room. If he laughs, you hit the mark.
Step 8. Know when to end the conversation and how to end it
If you walk away leaving him hanging by saying “Ok I have to go, bye”, he'll feel used and probably suspicious. Chances are he won't talk to you anymore. Instead, work gradually towards the end of the conversation. Say something like: "My friend looks tired. He should study right now. Better go and wake him up before the exam, so he'll pass ". When you walk away, smile and let him know that you want to talk to him again. Giving him your number is a drastic move, especially if it's your first conversation, but if you feel like it's okay, go for it!
Advice
- End the conversation with a positive attitude.
- Be careful who you carry around to help you. If you bring your best friend with you, she might fall in love with the same guy too. Try to bring with you a friend who is already happily engaged, but who also knows how to be outgoing and affable.
- Talk to him as you would talk to any other friend. Don't be afraid he'll reject you or don't react positively to the conversation.
- Don't persist with the conversation; if he doesn't feel comfortable talking to you, let him be.
- Do not give him too many signals that you like him, he may just want a friendship from you and it is likely that he will feel embarrassed and do not know how to react, with the result that he will try to avoid you.
- Get informed. Find out some of his interests in advance and see if you have anything in common. It can be extremely helpful to you when you approach him for the first time.
- Be yourself and talk to him like you would talk to any other friend.
- Never try to end a conversation if he hasn't said anything about himself. You don't want the conversation to be all about you.
- Practice. It sounds weird, but practicing in front of the mirror what you can say is actually a good idea. Practice smiling, nodding, laughing, and most importantly, speaking.
- Get advice. You don't necessarily have to ask your parents, because they'll probably be more upset that you care about a guy than that you're actually stuck. Ask a few of your friends to see how to look more comfortable when talking to him.
Warnings
- Don't be discouraged. It is a situation where you have to try and try again several times. If the conversation doesn't go well the first time, you can try again, but with a less cheerful attitude. Don't have too high expectations.
- Don't be pushy. If he doesn't seem interested in talking to you, immediately end the conversation quietly and walk away. You can try again later or just forget about him. It might not be worth it.
- Be careful. Sometimes people are not what they seem. Don't go talk to him in the middle of the night or in a deserted room until you know him well.
