If you feel like you haven't made progress in a while, you probably need to stop hesitating and start taking action. You will almost certainly find that taking steps forward isn't as complicated as you thought. Nonetheless, by abandoning the idea that everything always has to be perfect and setting realistic goals, you can begin to change your life for the better.
Steps
Part 1 of 4: Set Realistic Goals
Step 1. Start with small steps
Make a commitment to practice what you can do now. If you know you can't run more than a kilometer, start with that distance. It will certainly be more profitable than just saying "Tomorrow I will run 4 kilometers". Make a realistic commitment to yourself: "Today and every day that follows I will run at least one kilometer and every day I will try to cover a slightly greater distance than the day before."
Step 2. Set specific goals
If they were vague, you would be less likely to reach them. Try to be as specific as possible by choosing measurable goals, you will feel more motivated and have a better chance of success. The "SMART" method can be very useful and will allow you to set specific, measurable, achievable, relevant and temporally defined goals. It is precisely these qualities that make a goal "specific".
- For example, your goal might be to "start running 20 minutes a day to improve health and be able to run 10 consecutive kilometers within a year".
- Achieve your goal by taking small, gradual steps. Wanting to run a half marathon by the end of the week, having never run before, is going to fail. To be able to cross that finish line, you must first set intermediate stages, for example starting to run at consecutive 5-minute intervals.
Step 3. Make sure your goal is measurable and actionable
The letters "M" and "A" of the word SMART are intended to give you this indication: each goal, in order to be achieved, must be "measurable" and "achievable". Measurable means that you must be able to realize that you have conquered it. In the example above you have decided that you want to be able to run 10 consecutive kilometers by a certain date, this is a measurable milestone. It is also sufficiently small to be practicable. If not, you would feel under-motivated to achieve it. For example, if you had decided that you wanted to run a half marathon within a few days, your goal would not be viable.
Step 4. Make sure your goal is also relevant
In fact, what drives you to act is the desire to cross the finish line, not individual goals. In this case, your main goal is to be able to run 10 kilometers and not run every day.
Step 5. Give yourself a deadline, so that your goal can be said to be temporally defined, as required by the letter "T" of the word SMART
Setting a goal without setting a time limit means not being motivated to reach it because it is too vague. In order for your success to be measurable, you must necessarily set a deadline.
In the example given, you have given yourself a year to be able to run 10 kilometers in a row
Step 6. Act on your goals
Once you have defined them, it is time to get in motion to be able to reach them. Start with the intermediate goals. Try to give them your time and attention every day.
Step 7. Praise yourself for your successes
Every time you cross a milestone, praise yourself for doing it. Reminding yourself that you have done a good job is very important, even when it comes to an intermediate destination.
Step 8. Don't be afraid to up the ante
Over time, you will begin to reach your goals. At that point you can fix new ones or improve existing ones. For example, if you decided to run for 20 minutes a day, and you managed it for several days, you can choose to up the ante and do it for 25 minutes.
Step 9. Reward yourself
The advice is to establish a reward system in advance. You can reward yourself with whatever you like, for example with a new book or a visit to your favorite coffee shop. Let's say your goal was to run for 20 minutes a day for a whole week; once achieved, it will be time to reward yourself.
Part 2 of 4: Psychologically Preparing to Take Action
Step 1. Challenge yourself to take action
The action you should take may scare you because it concerns something new and foreign to your habits. Staying exactly where you are therefore seems to be the best, and the simplest thing. Nonetheless, the consequences of inactivity should be taken into account. What could be the negative effects of continuing to do what you've always done? For example, you may get stuck in some situations that clearly make you unhappy.
Get a piece of paper. Write down the negative effects of inaction
Step 2. Focus on the long term
Currently, you are focusing on what induces you to pleasure in the moment, which is not taking action, because otherwise you would feel uncomfortable. For a moment, though, try to consider the long-term benefits it would bring. What would happen if you decide to take action?
On the same sheet of paper, create a section dedicated to "benefits". List the positive aspects associated with the choice to act. For example, you could write something like "I would start a new job"
Step 3. Experiment
If you don't feel like you can make any decisions about how to take action, perhaps the best thing to do is get involved and experience something new. Sign up for a course, learn a new subject by reading, try to indulge in some new hobbies. Getting out of your comfort zone and trying new things could help get your life back in motion.
Step 4. Learn to tolerate uncertainty
Often, life proves to have a changing character; not being able to accept it forces you to waste a lot of time, hesitating and trying to escape the inevitable uncertainties you face. The best thing to do is to learn to tolerate its vagueness, so that you can focus your energies on the actions necessary to achieve your goals.
- Start by noting what behaviors can help you reduce the unpredictability of life. For example, you may have a habit of re-reading your messages twice to make sure they're perfect, or maybe you just go to restaurants you know because you don't want to risk ordering something new that you might not like. Once you've identified these behaviors, think about the ones that would cause you the most anxiety if you gave up on them.
- Start with the changes that make you less anxious by making a commitment to quit or change some of the behaviors on your list. Let someone else plan your night out or hit the enter key without double-checking the text for hypothetical errors.
- Take note of the times you can hold back from engaging in such behaviors and describe your feelings as well. Perhaps you will still be worried or find that the novelty makes you thrilled. Presumably the result will still be positive, even if something doesn't go as smoothly as you would have liked.
- Keep working on your behaviors to increase your tolerance for uncertainty.
Part 3 of 4: Stop Procrastinating
Step 1. Start by taking the simplest step
When you stop and think about something you don't want to do, you tend to think of it as incredibly heavy and difficult. So try to tackle only a small part of it, the one you hate least or consider easier. Once in motion towards the goal, you will be able to acquire a different perspective and gradually you will begin to feel satisfied with the progress achieved.
Step 2. Don't call yourself a procrastinator
The fact of continually defining yourself as one who deferrds rather than acting makes you exactly like that. In other words, simply describing yourself in one way makes you prone to behave accordingly. So learn to say "I like to get my homework done on time without procrastinating."
Step 3. Establish negative consequences
Postponing brings pleasure in the short term, but seriously jeopardizes your long-term happiness. However, if you establish negative consequences in the short term, you will likely find the motivation to act. For example, you may decide that whenever you fail to meet your daily goals, you will not be able to turn on the TV during the evening hours.
Step 4. Pay attention to what you tell yourself
Procrastination can be hidden under many behaviors. Sometimes he may be hiding in your claim to be productive in other fields, but whenever you find yourself shirking your duties, you should still force yourself to act. For example, you might be inclined to say, "I didn't go running today, but I walked the neighborhood, that's enough." Walking will not help you achieve your goal.
Step 5. Change your mindset
Often, when you decide to postpone a task, you do it because in your head you keep telling yourself that it is something unpleasant. By rephrasing your thoughts in more positive terms, you will immediately feel more ready to act. For example, you might say "It won't be that bad" or "I might even like it."
Part 4 of 4: Abandoning Perfectionism
Step 1. Review your concept of perfectionism
Learn to simply regard it as the best you can do. The problem with wanting to achieve perfection at any cost is that sometimes we become convinced that it is better not to act. The first step is to realize that you are always looking for perfection at the expense of your actions, after which you can try to change your way of thinking.
- Start by listing all the past occasions when perfectionism has helped you. For example, it may have helped you get good grades.
- Now list how non-perfectionist behavior might harm you. What would be the worst things that could happen? For example, you may fear losing your job. At this point, review each item on the list and reflect on the real chances of your fears coming true; you will find, for example, that it is unlikely that you will lose your job for making a single mistake.
Step 2. Abandon the "all or nothing" thought pattern
When you aim for perfection, you tend to convince yourself that if you are unable to achieve a perfect result, then it is best to do nothing. If you find yourself having "all or nothing" thoughts, ask yourself if they are helping or harming you.
For example, let's say you are making cookies for your family. If you are trying to achieve perfection but cannot and are tempted to give up, stop and think. Do you think your family members would be happier eating slightly imperfect cookies or not eating them at all?
Step 3. Give less importance to your achievements
Calculating your value solely on the basis of results and external recognition will most likely lead you to feel disappointed. The best thing you can do is to develop your self-esteem based on your inner qualities.
- Create another list. This time, list the aspects of yourself that you love the most, such as your being "kind to animals" or "good company".
- By attaching less importance to results, you will learn to love yourself. To do this, you need to start taking better care of yourself, giving yourself the same value you give to others. This means, for example, that you have to address yourself with the same affection you reserve for a friend, silencing that negative voice you use every now and then. Instead of saying "Wow, I look awful today" try saying "Wow, I have beautiful hair today." You have to learn to find and highlight your positives.
- You have another important task: learning to accept yourself as you are. Like anyone, you have both positive and negative characteristics. You must understand that both are part of you and be able to love them, even if you want to improve some of them.
