Do you need someone to resize you and get you off the pedestal? If you have been told that you are being too self-centered, learn step by step how to become more humble in your interpersonal relationships. Learn how to behave in basic social interactions and how to always remain humble in everyday life.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Taking Small Steps
Step 1. Play a game where you are sure to lose
Do you need to be resized? Learning to lose gracefully is an important step in becoming less self-centered. The lesson to be learned is that if you lose, it's certainly not the end of the world.
- When self-centered people lose, they react disastrously. Let yourself be defeated in a competition, preferably of little value, then react as an adult.
- Congratulate the winner, even if he has his head mounted. Squeeze his hand, look him in the eye and say: "Nice game!"
Step 2. Thank others for the little things too
If you can't feel gratitude, pretend until you really feel it. Always learn to say "thank you" when someone helps you. If you train yourself to give thanks when you recognize the effort in others to help you, you will become less self-centered, practicing it naturally.
- When you get on the bus, thank the driver. When the waiter fills your glass at the restaurant, look him in the eye and thank him. When your mother takes you to school, say thank you. Look for an excuse to always say thank you.
- Even if you think you deserve more, or that others' efforts to help you are insufficient, thank them anyway.
Step 3. When someone talks to you, look for eye contact
Regardless of how you feel, an easy way to show respect is to make eye contact. Even if you don't like what the other person is saying to you, even if you don't find it useful to listen to him, behave with respect and look him in the eye.
Learn basic listening techniques, as well as eye contact. Nod often to show that you are listening. Summarize what your interlocutor said before answering him
Step 4. When people talk, listen to them
If you get distracted by listening to other conversations or look around while your friend is talking to you, you are certainly bored and self-centered. When you are with someone, give them your attention. Concentrate. Listen to what others are saying by focusing more on the words of your interlocutors when you are engaged in a conversation.
Ask questions and show interest in what others say. Continue the speech they were giving, asking for example: "How did you feel?" Or "Then what happened?"
Step 5. Read a novel
Recent studies have found that those who love reading are more likely to empathize with others. Reading a good book helps you recognize and understand the emotions of others, so it's a good way to work on yourself if you believe you are self-centered. All you need is a library card.
Clearly, reading alone won't automatically make you more selfless, but learning to relate to others' lives is a good start
Part 2 of 3: Be Sociable
Step 1. Get help when you need it
Self-centered people often have a hard time admitting that they were wrong and need help. Don't make mistakes on your own. Recognize when your talent and skills are not enough and ask for help from someone who can give it to you.
Asking for help means knowing how to recognize that there are other capable people in the world, people who may be better than you in some field or activity. This is a good thing
Step 2. Let someone else take care of the problems
Do you always feel compelled to make your voice heard? Take a step back and let others step forward. Let another member of the group decide, don't always take the initiative.
- When you're out with friends, does it really matter where you go for dinner? If you're dating five people, there could be six different opinions. Let someone else decide and think about having fun instead.
- Asserting your reasons is important, of course, but only if you put your opinions on the same level as the others and if you have constructive solutions to propose. It is not necessary to reduce yourself to a doormat to become more selfless.
Step 3. Speak clearly
Sometimes what people say can seem self-centered, even if it really isn't. Do not try to guess what others want, it may be too difficult: rather ask them directly, to set the record straight.
- Do not look for hidden reasons in the actions and words of others. If your mom offers you a salad for lunch, it's probably not a hidden jab against your weight. It may be, but if you assume it a priori you give the impression that you are too centered on yourself.
- Some people interpret shyness as self-centeredness or selfishness. Don't expect others to read your thoughts - if you need help or if you have something to say, you need to be willing to talk. Don't expect others to ask you.
Step 4. Stop turning conversations into competitions
Self-centered people always find an excuse to talk about themselves. If for you every conversation is a battleground or an opportunity to show off, cut it out. Stop impatiently waiting for your turn and learn to listen and respond correctly in conversations, without always looking for the effective statement.
Don't always try to excel over others, even if the opportunity presents itself. If someone just told you how happy they felt about getting a used bicycle for their birthday, maybe this isn't the time to get the story out of when your dad gave you the new car
Part 3 of 3: Remain Humble
Step 1. Get away from your comforts
If your world, the one you feel safe in, doesn't go beyond your nose, it's no wonder you're self-centered. Get out of your narrow circles and have new experiences that challenge you, that shake up your day. The more you learn, the more easily you will be able to remain humble.
- Even if you think you already know everything about politics, always think with an open mind. Let doubt continually creep into you and fuel your wit. Ask yourself big questions and look for the answers yourself.
- If you get the chance, get to know different cultures. There is no need to take expensive trips to get to know other cultures: by volunteering you have the opportunity to meet people who are very different from you.
Step 2. Find a group of like-minded people
For some people, discovering that they are not alone is a humbling experience. Whatever your interests, whether it be watching horror movies or collecting punk records, there are people who share them. Find the community you belong to and join it.
- Attend a church if you are a believer. For the self-centered, it's a good way to get back down to earth.
- Join an association in your city. If you like games, go to a toy library. If you are an athlete, go to a gym.
Step 3. Meet new people regularly
If you feel safe in your inner circle, shake yourself up every now and then, meet new people, and learn new things about them and yourself. These people don't need to know about your self-centered past.
Spend time with people who are very different from you. If your world is confined to the office where you work, occasionally engages in conversations with people who do other types of work, such as bricklayers; if you are in a low-paying profession, sometimes have a chat with a well-dressed white collar. Go bowling. Meet strangers and enter their world
Step 4. Meet and hang out with people you don't like
Learning to be kind and tactful even with people who make us nervous is a sign of true selflessness. If you think you're too self-centered, make an effort to befriend someone you don't particularly like and come up with a way to please them.
Try to understand why people behave the way they do. If your little sister copies everything you do, stop for a moment: she probably does it because she sees you as a role model. Give her another chance
Step 5. Use your free time to volunteer
If you give without expecting to receive anything in return, you are behaving like a selfless person. Joining a volunteer or nonprofit organization can help you correct your self-centeredness. Consider participating in one of the following volunteer activities:
- Activities in developing countries.
- Animal protection.
- Shelters for the homeless.
- Activities for children.
- Suicide prevention.
