How to Lie: 9 Steps (with Pictures)

2024 Author: Samantha Chapman | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 09:13

The lies? A treatise can be written on this subject! There are all kinds and sizes and, behind them, the reasons can be endless, from wanting to protect a person to hoping to get something from someone. In this article, however, we will not deal with the ethical nature of the matter but with how to lie.

Steps

Step 1. Compromise with the decision to lie

If you have chosen to do so, you have already overcome moral or ethical obstacles and have justified yourself by arguing that it is a necessity. An unlikely liar gets trapped in the struggle with morality. Whatever your motivation, successful lying requires an inner balance that clears the lie.

• The act of lying is scorned because it is often aimed at hurting and causing pain or loss, emotional or material, to someone. And lying violates trust on a personal and social level, making people more suspicious of others. Sometimes, however, lies are used to protect a reputation, to prevent someone else from hurting, to relieve tension, and so on. Everything is relative and context-dependent, including the legality of the lie.
• Some people, like sociopaths, lie very easily. Being completely focused on themselves and free of remorse, these individuals do not care about other humans. But when lies aimed at manipulation, when they are revealed, they ask to pay a very high price.
• It is almost impossible for some to lie. This may be due to a certain ethical inflexibility or Asperger's syndrome or, perhaps, these people have never understood why honesty is not always the best policy to follow. People of this type confess their mistakes but their utter sincerity can cause you to lose sight of certain subtleties and nuances sometimes necessary to make relationships and situations of physical or emotional danger work. And he is not afraid that the truth can hurt others. That's right: sometimes lying allows you to do someone else a courtesy.
• How often you lie is a personal decision. In any case, you should be realistic with yourself: using lies always and only to avoid responsibility can lead you to a path based on compulsion and the inability to discern between honesty and the need to take cover. This state of mind can ruin your life. Under certain circumstances, even jeopardizing your relationships as well as destroying your reputation and future opportunities. Do the pros outweigh the cons? Sometimes even innocent lies can cause very serious problems.

Step 2. The possibility of being discovered exists, so before opening your mouth, ask yourself if it's worth it

Only you can understand it. That's how:

• "Have I been discovered in the past by the same person I want to lie to now?"
• "Were there witnesses?" For example, if you tell your partner that you weren't kissing a complete stranger at a party, you run the risk of being proven wrong by another person who was at the same party and who knows your boyfriend.
• Do you have the confidence to review events and come up with a brand new story?
• What are the likely reprisals if I get caught? Will this person be able to forgive you or will they feel betrayed? Is it a white lie or does it jeopardize the foundations of your relationship?

• If you make up the story, avoid the gaps and discrepancies. Deciding that you are going to lie, you will have to find a plausible alternative to the facts and imagine the questions they might pose. Put yourself in the head of the person you are going to tell the lie to.

  

  • Think of specific and true elements, such as a place, a person, an event or a story to be included in the lie, and use them to defend yourself. If you have details planned, you won't have to invent on the fly.
  • Do not complicate the story: it must be simple and straightforward, otherwise it is likely that inconsistencies will appear. Lying is like playing chess: you always have to think about the next move. Anticipate those of the other person and prepare the answers, so that you can pronounce them without hesitation. You need to know your interlocutor, so you will know how he will react and what he knows about you.
  • Writing the lie can help you memorize it better and remember the sequence.

  

  Step 3. Use your imagination and visualize the lie

  Create the whole scene in your mind, so it will seem that you are really remembering an event that actually happened. In a way, you will convince yourself of its reality and on the outside the tale will seem true.

  • An example: “Was it me who broke the car? Well, while I was driving I hit a wall, so it's the wall that broke it, I just moved it!”. As George Costanza said, "It's not a lie if you believe it's the truth."
  • An alternative is to imagine that you weren't the person involved. You were someone else, it was another person who broke the car. Pretend to be that person. Convince yourself that you are.

  • Practice in front of a mirror or camera. Observe the expressions on your face. Open your eyes and mouth slightly to get an innocent or credibly shocked look. Also try to pretend to hold back the tears. When you smile, show your teeth a little and raise your eyes and cheekbones to simulate a sincere smile.

    

  • Don't overlook the details, which mark the difference between a credible lie and one that isn't. Add real details. Example: the sentence “I was at McDonald's and I was eating a McCheese with Gianni and Maria” is more credible than “I was at McDonald's” (of course if John and Maria were not with you they will have to know about your lie to cover you up).

  

  Step 4. Do what a liar would not do

  In fact, there are books and books on how to find out if they are lying to you. Read one and do the opposite. There are rules in the public domain but, of course, it is easier to fool an ordinary person than a police officer or private investigator. Find out what professionals are looking for so they can get around everyone more easily.

  • Maintain eye contact. Liars tend to look away. However, avoid staring. During a normal conversation, the eyes move naturally.
  • Take it easy. Don't fiddle with an object or nervously touch your clothes.
  • Keep your hands in check. People who lie tend to put them in their mouths or play with something. Keep them relaxed and don't put them together - they will need to be spaced apart.
  • Do not speak differently than usual: an unusual language or tone will suggest that there is something underneath.
  • Don't smile too much. Think of those slimy people who smile to get you to do something. Also avoid laughing.
  • Unless you are a person who tends to stutter, control yourself, as doing so is a sign of unconscious panic. Keep calm.

  • Tell the lie before you are asked about this topic. It is better to lie in advance than to have to answer a question. If the victim discovers your misdeed before you can explain it of your own free will, they will have time to deduce the truth and it will be more difficult to convince them of your innocence.

    

    Example: Andrea, Sandro's roommate, enters the house. Andrea tells Sandro, while the latter is at the computer, that the dog has eaten his pasta, even if the culprit is Andrea. Sandro goes into the kitchen to verify the fact and shrugs. If Andrea hadn't said anything, Sandro would have found out on his own and would have blamed Andrea, becoming less available towards his friend's defense

  

  Step 5. Make a real confession

  If you have a feeling that this person is suspicious of you, admit to something true but insignificant, so they will think this is your big secret.

  • If you can, combine the lie with the truth. Example: Your mom overheard you telling your friend about your hangover over the phone. She confronts you and, of course, you can't completely lie to her. Include some real details. Instead of saying “What? But if I didn't even have a drop, "he confesses." Yes, Mom, they opened a bottle of whiskey and, after just one drink, I immediately felt drunk. It was totally disgusting”.
  • Blame the result, you suggest, that is, that things were already not working out by the time the worst happened. For example, if you broke something, you could just say, “God, I've been trying to fix this all afternoon. I read the entire manual, and when it seemed to settle down, it exploded into a thousand pieces. Look, I even hurt myself!”.
  • Add a small confession to your lie to reduce suspicion. For example, you throw a party at your house when your parents are out of town and, upon their return, you apologize by saying "I'm sorry, I forgot to feed the dog last night and he tore up the sofa when I was not there". This way, you will be appreciated for your attitude.

  

  Step 6. Pretend to be naive to defend yourself

  You lie about something irrelevant and don't confess so you can move on to bigger lies without ever being suspected.

  Pretend you have lost your memory. For example, if your mom asks what you did at lunchtime and you were making out with your boyfriend when she specifically denied you permission to see him, don't say "Uh, nothing special … I don't remember, really": this is a typical adolescent response. Try to show confusion to appear more believable. However, faking amnesia in front of a cop will likely increase suspicion and worsen the situation, so use this trick well

  

  Step 7. Avoid elaborate stories that require corroboration

  The more people are considered, the more difficult it will be for them to all tell the same version of events. Many may forget their role in the matter. Likewise, if there is something said by you that can be confirmed by objective evidence, it will be difficult to protect you.

  • Be careful when moving the discussion from yourself to someone else. It is easier to lie if you are the only person aware of the facts. Also, trying to appear as the most angelic person in a group of people involved in the same event can backfire because it's not hard to go and ask questions and find out the truth. For example, your partner asks you if you drank too much last night. You can describe the evening and shift the focus to someone else a couple of times (like saying "Yeah, it was a good night. You should have seen Enrico! He downed six drinks and was kicked out of the bar after beating a person." !”) But not as a standard tactic, because the other person may very well find out about what actually happened.

  • Be indifferent to getting out of a difficult situation and avoid getting defensive. Keep your tone of voice steady and don't protest too much. You have to show that you don't care if the other person believes you or not. If you are particularly good, you can make the other person feel guilty for doubting you, and you will have to decide whether to forgive him, not the other way around.

    

  • Changing the topic of conversation shouldn't seem obvious, or your intentions will be clear, especially when you do it to mask a topic that is relevant to the other person. Avoid laughing too much, making inappropriate jokes, and talking nonsense or in a nervous, excited or superficial way.

  Step 8. Don't forget your lie:

  it will have to become a real part of your memories. Depending on its context, staying silent can raise suspicions, especially in retrospect. You may need to mention it during some conversations and the version will need to be unchanged. This step is crucial.

  

  Step 9. Know when to lie

  Ethical reasons are personal and it's up to you to address them. But there are times when lying can cost you dearly:

  • To the authorities or during a job interview. In most of the world it is a crime to lie to a police officer or in a court of law. Be honest about your possible criminal activities, so you have a better chance of serving a lower sentence or allowing your lawyer to find technical or legal loopholes. Avoid sounding shady and focus on honesty.
  • To your doctor or lawyer. These professionals are obliged to keep the secrets of their patients and clients respectively, so they will not be able to reveal anything to anyone. There are exceptions, however, such as a psychologist who is certain his patient will commit murder. In any case, when you are with your lawyer, help him look for all the mitigating circumstances to save you.
  • Do not lie for fraud, i.e. to steal money and other valuables from people. In addition to being illegal, it is low and despicable behavior.
  • To a criminal: if he points a knife to your throat, don't pretend to be without a wallet: give it to him.
  • To your children, especially on topics like death or divorce. Sooner or later they will find out the truth and everything will get worse. Set a good example for them!
  • To cover up someone else: everyone has to pay for their own crimes, not those of others.
  • When you download someone. The person left behind will analyze your reasons and, if he finds out that you lied to him, your story could end in a less peaceful way.

  Advice

  • Body language is of vital importance. Our body communicates signals that often only a trained eye is able to perceive. But sometimes even the least prepared people notice strange nuances in a person's attitude. Here's what to consider when you tell a lie:

    • Keep the body loose.
    • Do not cross your arms or legs.
    • Don't put your head down.
    • Don't raise your tone of voice, keep it normal.
    • Put down the items you are holding, which could be considered a barrier you wish to hide behind.
    • Keep relaxed, don't be nervous. A sincere yawn can help but not force it.
    • Don't swallow too much. Maybe have a drink to cover this trend.
  • If you can convince yourself that you are telling the truth, you will convince others too.
  • Your lie won't have to change if you tell it to someone else.
  • Trying to sound confused when you tell a lie can seem like evasion or guilt. Beware of this emotion!
  • If you mention someone in your lie, make sure they are a stranger or an acquaintance. If this is someone you hang out with often and they don't know about your lie, it will be harder to protect you.
  • Pay attention to every single word you say so as not to unmask yourself. For example, if you answer “I didn't get the oranges” to a person who only said “Someone stole my fruit”, you have already confessed to being guilty.
  • Don't confuse privacy with the need to lie. If you don't want to tell anyone what you do, avoid it. Explain that it's your business in a polite manner. Be assertive, not stealthy.
  • If you lie to keep the peace in a group of people, you will live in denial. The pressure is high when you lie about something you can't change, like a boss stealing company money, a person abusing others, etc. Some lies harm many people in the long run.
  • Don't complicate the lie, or you'll find yourself scrambling for mirrors. Saying “Aldo took the book from me and then gave it to Tina, who I lent it to Alice. Alice gave it back to me but you have to give it to Aldo because he says it's his but it's mine (but it's actually Aldo's)”He's confused and it seems like a lie.
  • Don't exaggerate the lie. For example, do not say that you will drop out of school because the military wants you to enlist or that you have contracted a very contagious virus that is devouring you.
  • Good liars can read people and can manipulate them. For example, why does someone manage to gain absolute trust from others? Those who know how to lie are able to identify the fears and needs of others. Although it is morally reprehensible and illegal to steal money from others under false pretenses, these individuals convince themselves of their alleged truths and combine this certainty with the sense of guilt and availability of the interlocutor.
  • Write the lie somewhere so as not to forget it. If it is very serious, do not keep this sheet with you, put it in an envelope, which can be opened after your death, and entrust it to a lawyer.
  • Lying to get yourself out of something you don't want to do is a passive-aggressive form of attitude and demonstrates low self-esteem as well as a lack of the ability to stand up for yourself.

  Warnings

  • If you have a reputation as a liar, it will be difficult to shake it off.
  • If you tell a lie to someone you love or admire, you may feel guilty in the future. This feeling could be permanent and push you to confess the truth, realizing that you should never have lied.
  • Sometimes you lie because doing it can feel like personal satisfaction.
  • Not starting to lie is often the best way to avoid falling into the trap and bad habit of lies, which will save you from your mistakes and free you from responsibilities.
  • Lying can cause stress and guilt. Don't forget this if you're going to tell lies - you may find it's not worth it.