When a teenage girl learns she is pregnant and will soon have a child, things get very complicated for everyone involved. Nonetheless, it is important to understand that pregnancy is not a tragedy, as long as the decisions made are well thought out. The wisest thing to do is to inquire about all possible solutions, and then discuss them with a person who can help. If you are in the process of becoming a young mom or have a pregnant teenage daughter, you can use effective methods that will help you cope with gestation.
Steps
Method 1 of 3: Coping with Pregnancy During Adolescence
Step 1. Go to a counseling center
This facility offers many services to teenagers, such as pregnancy tests, ultrasound scans, specific information on a teenage pregnancy, sex education, and voluntary termination support. Don't worry: your data will be confidential. These centers are non-judgmental and can help develop a plan.
You can find the nearest clinic by searching online or in the telephone directory
Step 2. As soon as you start thinking you are pregnant, confirm that you are pregnant
The tests you can do at home are very accurate, but it is always best to be guaranteed by a gynecologist. Make an appointment to perform the test in the specialist's office. It will also tell you how long you have been pregnant and walk you through the possible solutions.
Counselors can offer you free pregnancy tests that will confirm or disprove your doubts
Step 3. Tell your parents
When a girl finds out she is pregnant, telling her family is often one of the hardest things to deal with. If you don't have the faintest idea what your parents' reaction will be to such news, the mere thought of talking about it can paralyze. Don't let this fear stop you from confessing the truth. The sooner they know, the better. The most effective way to do this? Be direct and honest. Here's how you can strike up the conversation:
"Mom, Dad, I have something important to tell you. I'm pregnant and I need your help." Once you break the news, answer all their questions honestly
Step 4. Get ready:
the reactions could be unexpected and conflicting. When you break this news to your parents, expect a rather surprised hot reaction. If they take it badly, remember that everything will be okay anyway. At first they may get angry or get carried away by the emotions of the moment, but over time the situation will improve.
Remember that they will be hearing this news for the first time, right in front of you, so they will not have had time to prepare to check initial reactions
Step 5. Cultivate a support network
Tell your parents, relatives, or school counselor for emotional support. It can be very difficult to share this type of information, but it is important to make sure that at least one person close to you knows immediately. Whatever decision you make about the future of your pregnancy, you should let someone help you deal with it.
Step 6. Inform the father of the child
Don't feel like you have to handle all the responsibilities of pregnancy alone. It is important to involve the father and his parents. It doesn't matter what you decide to do next: you can get emotional or financial help from him.
Step 7. Find out about the various options
Once you have confirmed that you are pregnant, you should decide how to approach the pregnancy. Try to have a mature conversation with the baby's father and others directly involved. Discuss the pros and cons of each street. Either way, the decision is up to you, so you shouldn't give in to pressure from others.
- If you come to the conclusion that you are unable to raise the baby, you should consult a gynecologist or psychologist, who can help you figure out what to do. For example, you can opt for the path of abortion or adoption.
- The abortion must be performed within a certain time interval from the beginning of the pregnancy. If you make this decision, your gynecologist will tell you if it is a feasible solution for your case. But remember that it can be a traumatic experience. Ask someone to accompany you for psychological support or contact a psychotherapist to help you deal with this choice.
- If you are considering adoption, you will have to declare after the birth that you do not want to recognize the baby. The birth certificate will indicate that the baby is the son of a woman who does not wish to be named. At this stage, you will be guided by the hospital's social service. To find out more about this path, go to the nearest clinic.
Step 8. Accept the advice willingly
If you are pregnant, there are many decisions to make about your baby, so the wisest thing to do is to listen to someone who has been through this before you. Consult trusted adults, nurses and midwives. Listen to what they have to tell you. Ask the experts to tell you about the various types of births, the costs, and what you should expect. This will help you decide what to do in your specific case.
Method 2 of 3: Being an Understanding Parent with a Pregnant Daughter
Step 1. Remember that it's normal to feel overwhelmed by an avalanche of emotions
If you have found that your daughter is expecting a baby, you are probably dealing with different moods. Your mind doesn't have a moment to rest: you just think about the many challenges that await you and the rest of the family. It is normal to be afraid of them. Don't worry - you have every right to be upset, but try not to let it show in the presence of your daughter.
Talk to a relative or friend who can help you get over the initial shock of the news. Ask him to help you talk to your daughter
Step 2. Put it down
Sure, you are angry and upset, but your daughter is likely to feel quite scared and lonely. Right now, he needs you more than ever to have you by his side. For her mental and physical health, it is necessary to be as relaxed as possible during pregnancy. Try not to make her feel ashamed: this will not change what happened, on the contrary, it will make everything worse. After you find out that your daughter is expecting a baby, here are some phrases you could say to her:
- "I'd like to know when you found out and who the father is, so we can decide what to do."
- "I need time to think about the next step."
- "We will find a solution together. Everything will be fine."
Step 3. Ask your daughter what she wants to do
You may want to step in and make a decision because you are the adult, but you need to listen to them and respect their needs. It is very important that she is convinced of her choices. While you disagree with her, you can still support her.
- Ask her, "What does your heart tell you to do?" or "Which solution do you think is right for you?".
- Look for a counselor who can help you and your daughter make a decision together. The presence of an expert can help lead a constructive conversation with an unbiased perspective.
Step 4. Advise and help your daughter to evaluate different avenues
You can't force her and think a certain way, but you should guide her to have useful resources and support centers. It is important to help her make the best decision for her, without affecting her choice too much.
Review all options and possible perspectives, pointing out the pros and cons for your daughter's future. This way, she will listen to your opinions, but you will also give her the opportunity to have all the information she needs to make a convincing decision
Step 5. Focus on the future
Finding out that your daughter is pregnant can be devastating. Maybe you wonder how this could have happened or you are afraid because you don't know what exactly all this means. It is important to remember that having a baby is a beautiful experience, so there is nothing to be ashamed of. While it is unexpected and there will be many struggles, you should think about the future, not dwell on the past.
Teens make mistakes and have to learn from their mistakes to grow. It's a turning point: your daughter needs support and guidance more than ever
Step 6. Teach her to become independent
You may need to help her economically and emotionally, give her good advice on parenting, but you also need to teach her to be a self-reliant adult. You can't always take responsibility for making appointments with your gynecologist, organizing dinner, or doing laundry. Make sure she is ready to take care not only of herself, but also of her child.
Let her make appointments at the gynecologist and recommend books to read to help her prepare for motherhood
Step 7. Try to understand your place and role in the child's life
With the arrival of the baby, it can come naturally to you to act as if you were the parent of the baby. It is important to keep the role of grandfather and let your daughter be the mother. It must learn to rely on itself.
Step 8. During pregnancy, be mindful of your daughter's medical treatment
You need to make sure she gets the right prenatal care to have a healthy labor, delivery and baby.
- Accompany her on appointments and support her on this journey.
- Start giving her prenatal vitamins as soon as you learn about the pregnancy.
Step 9. Explore the path of adoption with your daughter
If she decides not to keep the baby and would like to give it up for adoption, help her through this experience. Remember that it is his responsibility, so you must first support his decisions. The girl will still cope with gestation, therefore she must be healthy from a psychophysical point of view.
- Choosing to give the child up for adoption may be the preferable solution for teenagers who are not ready to raise a child.
- Look for experts who can help her cope with the painful separation of adoption.
Step 10. Support your daughter in the event of an abortion
If the girl decides that this is the best solution for her, it is important to be close to her. It can be a traumatic experience, not only during the procedure, but afterwards as well. Your daughter will need love and support.
Try to talk to her after the procedure to make sure she is okay
Step 11. Get help too
If you are not supported by anyone, you will not be able to support your daughter. Find someone to talk to and offer advice so you can have a clearer idea of helping your daughter and grandchild.
You can talk to a friend, family member, or perhaps a psychologist. The important thing is to find someone you can trust and open up with without problems
Method 3 of 3: Plan for the Future
Step 1. Find out about maternity benefits and benefits
There are state and municipal financial aid that can help you at least partially cover medical costs, grocery shopping, and any other expenses associated with the child. If you qualify, you will be given an allowance that you can spend on necessary goods and services, which will facilitate motherhood. Ask INPS to find out more.
In several cities, there are centers and spaces of counseling centers that help pregnant adolescents to orient themselves also from a work or training point of view. Do a search to find one where you live
Step 2. Don't feel compelled to get married
Having a child does not mean automatically getting married to the father. Before you decide to move in with him or get married, talk to your parents to find out what they think. They will help you make the most sensible choice for you and your child.
- Being raised by married parents who don't love each other or have a grudge can be detrimental to a child's emotional development.
- You and the father may decide to raise the child together without getting married. This option is called "shared custody" and allows you to find a solution that meets the needs of both parents, but also those of the child.
Step 3. Set goals for the future
The dreams you had will probably have to be put aside for a while or changed slightly, but they don't have to go away. They should still be a goal to aspire to. If you want to continue studying or getting a job, talk to your parents and try to change your future plans for your new life.
Graduates. Having training will help you become independent and allow you to better support your child
Step 4. Prepare for change
If you decide to keep the baby, try to understand which aspects of your life will be different. You have to prepare yourself economically, mentally and socially for the newborn. You will have to learn a lot about how to raise a child and you will have to be responsible for this new stage. Ask your family or a specific association for help to plan for the future so that after giving birth, you will be ready.
- The people who will help you will allow you to understand how much time you will have to devote to the child and how much money you will have to spend each week in order not to miss anything.
- If you make well thought out plans for the baby, you will both be better off.
Step 5. Try to get emotional support
If you decide not to keep the baby, try seeing a therapist to help you cope with this moment. Whether you have chosen to have an abortion or give it up for adoption, you may be experiencing intense loss that will affect your psyche. It is important to understand that the situation will be difficult for some time, but with the help and support of your loved ones and an expert, you will overcome this experience.
Advice
- If the father doesn't want to get involved, you can still raise him alone. In the early days, ask your family for help and apply for state or city benefits.
- Consider the various solutions and do not immediately make a final choice. Evaluate the pros and cons of all options and make the most appropriate decision.
- Look for self-help groups for young mothers online.
