Some individuals, introverted by nature, live by pretending to be open and outgoing in an attempt to please others. There is nothing to be ashamed of in being reserved, indeed it is good for your health to accept your temperament. If most of the time you prefer to be on your own, communicate it with verbal or body language so that it is clear to everyone. Try to live with your own needs, but never use introversion to justify hostile behavior towards others.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Communicating Your Needs to Others
Step 1. Be on your own as often as you like
Cultivating friendships and maintaining contact with others is good for emotional health, but the time we spend alone is also healthy. Don't think that you are at fault if you feel happier and more stable by dedicating more time to yourself than others usually do.
- When you are forced to interact with someone, but you don't feel like it, organize your thoughts so that the communication is quick and understandable.
- If you don't feel comfortable being in a crowd of students when you are in school, look for a secluded corner or other more isolated place. Join others when you see fit.
Step 2. Be silent if you want, instead of feeling compelled to speak
Sometimes you can't help but talk to others, but avoid being talkative or even raise your voice just to "adjust" to the situation or be nice. If you are almost always silent, are thoughtful and speak softly, others will understand that you want to interact, but on your terms.
Stop and think before you speak. See if you really need to give an opinion. It is surprising how often silence is the best answer
Step 3. Keep your opinions to yourself
By expressing what you think openly, you will attract attention and even some dislike. Share your opinion only with friends and family or when you feel the need to share it.
Others may find you mysterious and fascinating if you don't totally reveal what you think
Step 4. Use body language when you want to be left alone
For example, if you are in the school hallway, lean your back and foot against the wall, keeping your arms folded or your hands in your pockets. This position manifests a distant attitude.
Don't look people in the eye too much. Rather, look down or keep him engrossed in emptiness
Step 5. Indulge your nature without being obnoxious
Continue to be on your own if you want, but respond when someone speaks to you and use a pleasant tone. Don't give the impression that you are being rude, but if you really want to, try to look mysterious.
Being cold and thoughtful does not mean turning badly towards others. You have every right to be left alone, but others deserve to be treated with dignity and respect
Part 2 of 3: Go Your Own Path
Step 1. Stop pleasing others by ignoring your own needs
Be nice, but stop acting solely on what people think. Learn to define your timing and availability so that others know how far they can go when dealing with you.
- Sometimes just saying, "I'm sorry, but I can't help you today. I really need some time for myself this afternoon."
- You have no right to abuse others by acting in a certain way (or by failing to do certain things), but you should also stop feeling guilty when you prioritize your needs.
Step 2. React as you see fit or don't react at all
Follow your instincts if in a particular situation (or in the face of a person's words and behaviors) you feel like laughing, smiling, or even if you don't want to react. Whatever you think, say and do is legitimate, just as it is also legitimate not to think, say and do anything. That said, you also need to take note of other people's reactions to your behaviors.
Being yourself is more important than basing your actions on the opinions of others, but that doesn't mean feeling free to act with rudeness and insolence. Instead of acting like this, let it go. Others may consider a lack of reaction on your part arrogant, but what they think is of no concern to you, because it is not something you can control
Step 3. Ask yourself what you want without taking into account the opinion of others
When you wonder what you want to be or do in life, don't worry about how people might interpret your choices. Ultimately, you will need to consider whether your actions can get in the way or unnecessarily harm someone, but this assessment will come later, after you have outlined your path.
For example, first focus on what you want to figure out whether to quit your current job and find something more suited to your personality. Only after you realize this can you ask yourself to what extent this change could affect the people around you
Step 4. Find time to indulge in quiet, thought-provoking activities that suit your temperament
For example, your schoolmates may enjoy playing football, swimming, or ice skating, while reading a good novel is enough for you. Reading is an activity that for many introverted people has a calming effect, but is also mentally stimulating, so don't be ashamed if it's your favorite passion.
Journaling (keeping a diary), creative writing and the visual arts are also suitable activities for introverts. However, don't feel obligated to do them just because you are a private person. If you want to play football or ice skating, don't hesitate
Part 3 of 3: Accept and Improve
Step 1. Accept yourself as you are
You can't control how others view you, but you can decide to accept yourself for who you are. For example, if you are a taciturn person who shows a disinterested and indifferent attitude in the face of many situations, accept your disposition. As long as you don't hurt anyone, there's no reason why you can't be yourself and be proud of it.
Stop dreaming of being different from who you are and take the time you need to understand your nature. Identify your qualities and be proud of them. Eventually try to figure out how to improve
Step 2. Analyze yourself without being too harsh
Learn to recognize the thoughts and attitudes that are children of your temperament, then decide which ones to keep and which ones to correct. Always try to improve yourself.
Don't ignore your shortcomings, but also avoid scolding yourself. Individual, treasure it and try to make improvements, without radically altering your disposition
Step 3. Seek professional help if you think you need it
Sometimes introverts, especially those who are more taciturn and detached by nature, are considered "dark", "unbalanced" or even "dangerous". These are rarely true and fair definitions, but if you feel your thoughts or behaviors are detrimental to your well-being or that of others, don't be ashamed to seek professional help.
- Check with your doctor to find out if a mental health professional can recommend you.
- A good psychotherapist does not try to change your nature. Rather, it uses various techniques to help you bring out the healthiest part of yourself.
Advice
- If someone asks you why you never talk, feel free to answer honestly: "I am like that." If the question is formulated in an offensive or accusatory tone, try adding, "Why? Is this your business?"
- If you're introverted, it doesn't mean you can't have friends. Maybe they will be few, but true.
