Challenges are a part of life and sometimes staying upbeat in difficult situations is a challenge in itself. Fortunately, happiness is born within us and it is possible to change our way of thinking for the better. If you want to be a positive, happy and optimistic person, start by adopting the right mindset, transform the way you perceive life and develop new healthier habits. Also learn to take care of yourself to always feel your best!
Steps
Method 1 of 4: Adopt the Right Mindset
Step 1. Choose a mantra
It will help you think positively and develop a healthy mindset. As you recite it, the part of the brain that makes judgments about yourself stops. You can use a mantra created by you or, if you prefer, you can choose a positive quote. Recite your sentence every morning or several times throughout the day. You can write the mantra on sticky notes and stick them around the house, for example on the refrigerator, bathroom mirror or wall next to the bed. You can take a cue from the following mantras:
- "If I believe it, I can do it";
- "Every day is a new beginning";
- "I deserve love and happiness".
Step 2. Turn the inner dialogue into a positive one
You spend all day talking to yourself, so it's very important to evaluate what you say to yourself. Try to use the same words you would say to your best friend if they were in the same situation as you. Make an effort to address yourself in a kind way and when you realize that you are judging yourself harshly, reformulate your thoughts in a positive way.
- For example, you can say to yourself: "I can do it", "I am a determined person who can be successful" or "I always do my best".
- If you find that you are judging yourself severely and negatively, rephrase those thoughts. Sometimes you may be surprised when you say to yourself, "I can't do it, it's too difficult." Don't get mad at yourself when this happens; simply try to adopt a more positive inner dialogue. For example, you might say to yourself, "There's nothing wrong with being afraid when facing a new challenge. It's an opportunity to learn, so I'll do my best."
Step 3. Correct negative thought patterns
They are an obstacle to your desire to be a positive, happy and optimistic person. Try to notice when they occur to have a chance to question your conclusions. The ways of thinking to correct include:
- Filter the positive experiences and focus attention on the negative ones;
- Make negative events personal to blame yourself;
- Be catastrophic assuming the worst will happen;
- Label any event according to the categories good or bad.
Step 4. Re-formulate your assessments of difficult situations
Life brings with it unexpected events and obstacles, it is normal and it is the same for everyone. What matters is how you deal with these impediments. Instead of mulling over the wrongs suffered, try to see them in a more positive light by trying to identify something good in the situation.
- For example, you may be scared because you are confronted with something new. Instead of thinking "What am I going to do if I can't?" try saying to yourself, "This is a great opportunity to learn something new."
- It is not about ignoring the negative feelings you have about a complicated situation, but simply focusing on the opportunities for growth.
Step 5. Think of all the things that can go right
Pessimistic people often mull over their concerns, constantly thinking about what could go wrong. You can change your mindset by focusing on possible positive outcomes. Over time, you can train your mind to think more optimistically.
- When you find yourself worried, make a list of possible positive outcomes. You can list them in writing, in your mind or write them down on your mobile.
- You may initially find it difficult not to think about things that could go wrong. When such thoughts arise, rephrase them in a positive way. For example, you might think, "When I take part in a group project I always end up doing all the work, but I get little credit." You can counter this idea by saying "Group projects enable everyone to formulate new innovative ideas".
Step 6. Don't label everything as "good" or "bad"
Rather, treat each situation as an opportunity. The concept of "good" or "bad" is not innate in the mind of us human beings, we learn it as we grow up. You can change your approach to life by rejecting the labels you have acquired.
For example, in your mind you might label a luxury apartment as "good" and a small studio apartment as "bad". If you can only afford the latter based on your finances, you may feel sad. Reject the negative definition thinking about the positive characteristics of the small studio apartment that you can allow yourself, for example the fact that it guarantees you shelter
Step 7. Pause to reflect on the positive aspects of your life
As you spend more time thinking about something, your brain starts to make it a priority. As much as ruminating on negative experiences makes you feel sad, thinking about favorable episodes can help you feel positive and happy.
- Look at the photos that remind you of pleasant moments;
- Write down your favorite quotes on sticky notes and stick them where you can see them often;
- Review your gratitude journal.
Step 8. Make a list of the things you feel grateful for
Noticing the many positives in your life will help you develop a more optimistic mindset. Even when everything seems to be going wrong, you can definitely find some things to feel grateful for. Reflect and take note of even the smallest details, such as a sunny sky or a compliment from a stranger.
- You can decide to list all the things you can feel grateful for in life or just focus on the current day.
- Start a gratitude journal. Try adding five new things every day that you can feel grateful for.
Step 9. Train your sense of humor
It's a great tool you can use to have a more positive approach to life and to be able to laugh at minor adversities. For example, you might stumble along the path that will take you to school or work; instead of getting angry, tap into your sense of humor to be able to laugh at it.
- You smile;
- Sign up for a theater improvisation course;
- Watch funny movies;
- Go see a cabaret show;
- Read witty books.
Step 10. Surround yourself with positive people
Just as the negative ones can make you feel down, the positive ones can trigger a good mood. Make friends with people who have an optimistic attitude towards life and limit the time you spend in the company of those who complain all the time.
- Don't cut ties with people who have a negative mindset, especially if they are facing a difficult situation. Just try to hang out with them as a group and set a boundary line to support them without feeling compelled to sacrifice your optimism.
- If you have a friend who is often negative, you might want to try to point it out. Ask him how he feels and let him know that many times he seems unhappy.
Method 2 of 4: Change Your Approach to Life
Step 1. Find your purpose
Having a purpose in life can help you find happiness and feel more positive and optimistic. As you progress towards your goals, the successes you achieve have more meaning and adversity seems less difficult to overcome.
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Keeping a journal can help you find your purpose. Answer questions like these in writing:
- What do I want?
- What are the most important things to me?
- Where do I see myself in 5 years? And in 10?
- What am I good at?
- Think back to the things you enjoyed doing when you were a child or a teenager. They might be related to your purpose.
- Reflect on your personal beliefs. How could they give you purpose?
Step 2. Try to change one thing at a time
It is normal to feel dissatisfied in certain areas of life, maybe you do a job you don't like or you have a bad relationship with a brother or sister. Tackle one problem at a time so as not to risk feeling overwhelmed by difficulties.
Make a list of the things you would like to change, then set priorities. Start with the situations that you consider most important
Step 3. Live in the here and now using awareness
Many of your needs come from the past or the future. You can get rid of those worries by living in the present. Focus all your attention on the present moment to give yourself the chance to live it fully.
- Use the five senses to anchor yourself in the present moment. For example, smell the air to smell it, observe the small details of the scene in front of you and listen to the sounds made by the world around you.
- Forget about distractions, like cell phones or headphones.
Step 4. Give up the need to have everything under control
It is normal to want to control all areas of your life, but it is an unattainable goal. Trying to keep everything under control can make you more stressed and less happy. Instead of trying to dominate every single sphere of your life, focus your attention on the only things you can really control - your reactions.
- Let others take care of themselves;
- Don't be afraid to delegate some tasks;
- Remind yourself that you cannot eliminate difficult times from your life, but you can approach them with a different mindset.
Step 5. Accept the circumstances for what they are
It may seem like a defeatist attitude, but in reality it is the first step to take to improve your life. Don't be constantly waiting for the perfect moment, the only right time is now.
It's okay to try to change your circumstances, as long as you focus on yourself and not others. You can only change yourself, it won't work with others
Step 6. Remember that setbacks are only temporary
You will encounter obstacles in life, it happens to everyone. In difficult situations you may make mistakes, which is normal, but don't let them cause you to be defensive. Instead, try to see them as an integral part of the path that will lead you to success.
Don't forget that sometimes it is necessary to fail to know what it takes to be able to achieve your goals
Method 3 of 4: Develop Good Habits
Step 1. Do something you love every day
Having fun is good for the mood and helps you have a more positive approach to life. It is normal to have to spend a good part of the day working, studying, or taking on other responsibilities, but try to find some time to feel happy!
- Have a coffee with a friend;
- Devote yourself to your hobby;
- Watch your favorite TV show;
- Play with your pet;
- Play a board game with your family;
- Enjoy a dessert.
Step 2. Volunteer to help others
It will help you feel better about yourself and give you a more positive overall outlook. In addition to doing good, with volunteering you will achieve a sense of abundance in your life. Choose a cause you care about and make yourself useful!
- Donate your time to a local non-profit association. For example, you could distribute meals in a homeless shelter.
- Commit to supporting a cause you care about, such as animal rights.
- You can also donate money to a charity.
Step 3. Perform spontaneous acts of kindness
As the saying goes, "Giving is better than receiving". Doing kind gestures for others will make you feel happier and more positive. You will feel good about yourself and you will know that you have helped create a better society.
- Pay for a coffee to a stranger;
- Compliment someone;
- Offer lunch to a colleague;
- Prepare a dessert for your family;
- Leave a copy of your favorite book on a bench or on the bus;
- Leave a kind message for your partner on the bathroom mirror.
Step 4. Plan your free time to ensure you get the right rest
Having a chance to rest is essential to living a happy life. When you are rested, you feel more positive, creative, cheerful and productive. Give yourself time to relax each day for at least half an hour and a full day off per week.
Give yourself permission to rest and relax. In those moments, don't think about work or responsibilities
Step 5. Limit the time you spend watching television
You will have more to focus on the things that really interest you, like hobbies or your personal goals. There's nothing wrong with having fun watching TV, but if you overdo it, you'll end up feeling sluggish and down in tone. Turn it off and get involved in activities that can help you live a happier, more positive life.
- Work to achieve your personal goals;
- Spend some time with loved ones;
- Visit a museum;
- Walk in an unfamiliar area of the city.
Method 4 of 4: Take Care of Yourself
Step 1. Eat a nutritious and balanced diet
Make sure the foods you eat nourish your body so you can live as well as possible. In addition to looking good and feeling good, you will be able to manage stress better.
- Eat plenty of fruit and vegetables while limiting simple sugars and processed foods;
- Drink at least 8 glasses of water a day;
- Don't go on a restrictive diet, rather focus on nourishing your body properly.
Step 2. Create a stress relief kit
It will help you keep track of the factors that make you anxious and worried. Stress is a part of life and having strategies to help you reduce it will help keep you positive. Here are some tools you can include in your personal stress reliever kit:
- Scented bath salts, choose a relaxing fragrance like lavender;
- A collection of positive quotes;
- A diary;
- An essential oil that you like;
- What you need to be able to dedicate yourself to your favorite hobby;
- Your favorite comedy film;
- An adult coloring book and a box of colored pencils.
Step 3. Set limits to safeguard the health of your mind
It often happens to feel overwhelmed by things to do; to avoid this, you need to put a limit on the time and energy you use each day in carrying out daily activities. Communicate your condition to the people you hang out with on a regular basis.
- Let people know what you mean or don't mean to tolerate. For example, you can tell your friends that you will turn off your phone every night at 10pm so that you won't be disturbed while you rest.
- Answer "no" when you deem it necessary. It's normal not to have the time, energy, or desire to do everything other people ask of you.
Step 4. Exercise for at least 30 minutes a day
You can concentrate them in a single training session or divide them into three blocks of 10 minutes each. Physical activity is good for the mood and reduces stress. You will get even more excellent results by choosing a discipline you like. You have dozens and dozens of options, including for example:
- Walking in nature;
- Run;
- Sign up for an aerobics class;
- Do aerobics from the comfort of your home thanks to a DVD;
- Dance;
- Become a member of a sports team.
Step 5. Do some breathing exercises
They will help you calm your body and mind and nurture your positive mindset. When you feel the need to relax, try one of these exercises, they are all very simple:
- Just watch your breathing. Focus your attention on each inhalation and exhalation, trying not to make any judgments in your mind.
- Inhale for 4 seconds, hold your breath for 4 seconds and then exhale for 4 seconds. Then repeat counting first to 6 and then the next time up to 8.
- Sit comfortably in a quiet corner of your home or office. Visualize in your mind that you are in a place that makes you happy, for example on a beach. Breathe in a controlled manner for 5-10 minutes.
- Try to inhale through your nose and exhale through your mouth. Breathe slowly and deeply by starting the breaths from the abdomen.
Step 6. Meditate
Meditation is very useful for calming the mind and reducing stress. It can help you develop and maintain a cheerful and positive mindset. Even just 5 minutes a day can bring considerable results!
- You can start with a guided meditation or just try to stay focused on your breath.
- Search for a guided meditation online or download an app on your mobile to be able to meditate at any time of the day.
Step 7. Practice yoga
It is a discipline that helps you relax and use your breath better. It is also very useful for having a more toned, flexible and harmonious body. You can do some distinct positions or try to combine them in a sequence, according to your preferences.
- You can be guided by a teacher using a book or videos.
- If you prefer, you can sign up for a live course to find out if you are performing the positions correctly. It is also a great opportunity to meet new people and learn more about yoga.
Step 8. Get enough sleep
Sleep is essential for the body because it allows it to repair itself and rest. Unfortunately, many people underestimate its importance and do not sleep for a sufficient number of hours. The recommended amount of sleep depends on age:
- Adults need 7-9 hours of sleep a night;
- Teenagers need 8-10 hours of sleep a night;
- School-age children need 9-12 hours of sleep a night;
- Children under the age of 6 need 11-14 hours of sleep per night;
- Newborns need 12-17 hours a day.
Advice
Live your life in accordance with your beliefs so as not to create an internal conflict that could make you feel miserable
Warnings
- Being optimistic is great, but try to be realistic as well, otherwise you may make some impractical decisions.
- If you have lost a loved one or are experiencing a very difficult situation, give yourself the time you need to process the pain and regain energy.
