If your girlfriend tells you she is pregnant, it may be quite shocking for you. Putting aside spending a night with someone and having sex with your ex, these steps should help you get through a potentially overwhelming situation while supporting your girlfriend through a tough time.
Steps
Step 1. Stay calm
This is the most important step. She is probably as confused as you are. Losing your temper won't help you at all.
Step 2. Listen to it
Try not to jump to conclusions. When he has finished speaking, summarize it all so that you both understand and know the whole situation.
Step 3. Be assured
To get to the point of telling you, she is most likely certain. As a parent, it is also reasonable of you to ask her how she knows, and if she has had a test or a visit to the doctor.
Step 4. Take responsibility
In a love relationship, the woman deals with pregnancy and also faces great emotional and social upset depending on her life situation. Your support is invaluable.
Step 5. Consider your options
Are you ready to raise a baby? And she? Do you love her enough to be with her for a long time and raise a child with her? If she gives you time to think about how you want to commit, "use it." If you have any doubts, express them.
Step 6. Support it
Whatever she decides to do, don't let her do it alone. No one should go through a pregnancy, abortion or adoption alone. This is especially true in cultures where pregnancy can be a social embarrassment for the woman and lead to an extreme gesture, such as self-harm.
Step 7. Get to know the legal aspects
Whether you decide to be romantically involved with the mother or not, your legal options and responsibilities still apply. Familiarize yourself with your rights as a father. A lawyer or paternal rights counselor can help you.
Step 8. Get help if needed
Many others have gone through similar situations, and you don't need to go through it alone. Seek support from friends and family. If your girlfriend has sworn to keep a secret, seek out a confidential service that can provide you with tips, advice and support. (Check out the links below.)
Step 9. Make rational decisions
For example, premarital pregnancy is frowned upon in some cultures. Torque pressure greatly influences people's judgments. Pregnancy may or may not be a good reason to get married.
Advice
- Be sensitive to her feelings.
- Don't pressure her to say something or make any choices as this will cause stress and fears that can lead to a miscarriage.
- Tell your parents about it, and let her tell her parents - they will be happy to know that you are thinking about this wisely and that you appreciate their input and trust. They may be able to give you some good advice!
- If you are a teenager, it would be best to tell your parents together so that you both express how you feel and it will be easier to understand and harder for them to be angry / disappointed. If you are responsible for accepting it, there should be no problem in the end. No matter how difficult it becomes, continue school if you can.
- Realize this is a great commitment - you are taking part in the "miracle" of the creation of life.
- On the other hand, if your or his parents have been emotionally or physically abusive "and" do not support premarital pregnancy, it would be a wise decision not to reveal the secret until you make marriage decisions.
Warnings
- Use extreme caution if your or his family situation is unstable or violent. In these cases, look for another adult you can trust and trust him or her.
- Having a baby means a big change in your life, don't take it too lightly.
