It's easy to ignore our fears and just hope they disappear. Unfortunately, however, they rarely obey. When fears start to affect our daily lives, action is needed. How can we deal with them? With the right way of thinking! Read the article, you will wonder why you didn't act before!
Steps
Method 1 of 3: Part One: Think About It
Step 1. Make a list of your fears
Seriously. Do it now, grab a piece of paper and a pen. List your fears. Which ones are they? Where do they come from? What origins do they have? When do they manifest themselves? In which situations are they milder? How do they make you feel? Detached from yourself and your fears, observed through the list on the paper, will help you to be a little more logical and objective about your fears.
Starting a fear diary is a winning idea. Whenever you feel fear coming, search your diary and write down your feelings. Not only is this a great way to vent your emotions, it can help you keep your feet on the ground, and remind you that you can take control of the situation
Step 2. Create a fear scale
Choose a fear you wish to master. At the top of the ladder, write what it is. Now we're going to have to break it down into minor steps - at the lower end of the scale, think of a small step you could take to tackle it. At each rung, add an action that can bring you slightly closer to the goal, where you will face it head-on.
Here is an example: let's say you are afraid of flying (or rather of falling). Even just getting close to an airplane makes you nervous. At the bottom of your ladder write "go to an airport", it will be your first step. You will simply have to go to an airport, nothing else. After that, you'll need to study the dynamics behind a plane (the wings aren't supported by anything magical already!) Now it's time to book a short 30-minute flight with a friend. A few steps further, you will board a 4-hour flight, on your own. Do you understand how it works?
Step 3. Face your thoughts
Now that your brain is focused on your fears, you have learned to understand where they come from. You have broken them down into small steps, and you are ready to analyze them rationally. Observe your fear, and realize that it is simply a way of thinking. Fear is neither concrete nor animated, it's just an uncontrolled neuron that makes you want to escape. That little neuron is actually controllable. Doing it is simple, you just have to face yourself, really.
Take a moment to delve into this concept. Whatever you have in your mind has been created by you, at one time or another. Literally, you won't have to deal with anything or anyone, you just have to rethink your way of thinking about what scares you. When you realize that the obstacle is not real, you will begin to make important progress
Step 4. Contact a mental health professional
If you are afraid of public speaking, it will not be necessary, most people share the same fear as you. But if you're terrified of little green men hiding in your closet and ready to attack you, you probably need help. Perhaps you are aware that your fears are irrational, debilitating and all-consuming. In this case, consider seeing a therapist. It will help you deal with your fears successfully, whatever they may be.
The field of psychology has made great progress with exposure techniques, including systematic desinsitization, flooding, implosive therapy, and in vivo graded exposure. Perform a targeted search to find out more
Step 5. Study your specific fears
In all likelihood, you are not the only one to try them. There could be thousands if not millions of people feeling the same emotions as you. How do they overcome their fears? Find out using modern technology. And don't forget to search wikiHow articles! Maybe you might find it helpful to read:
How to Overcome the Fear of Injections
Method 2 of 3: Second Part: Enter the Conquest Zone
Step 1. Visualize success
Visualize yourself confident and totally fearless. It might sound bizarre, and it is, but it works. At the very least it can help you get into the right positive thinking mode, enticing you to step out of your comfort zone. Visually imagine yourself in the situation. Exercise your sight, smells, sensations, and touch, then take control. The situation will be as real in your mind as it is in reality. Our brain is truly mind-blowing isn't it?
It will take some practice. Initially, it displays for short periods of 5 minutes. When it gets easier, extend it to 10. After that, spend as much time as possible visualizing yourself entering the conquest zone. It is a technique similar to meditation, albeit with an additional positive note towards life. The day you conquer your fear, you will not be amazed, because you will have already experienced it over and over again in your mind
Step 2. Relax your body
From time to time, while lying on the bed, do these exercises: hold your breath, clench your fists, and tense every part of your body. Quickly, you will be able to feel that tension. Your mind will also behave like the rest of your body. The good news is that this process also works in reverse. By relaxing your body you will be able to relieve the stress of the mind. Experiment for yourself!
Most likely, even just thinking about your fear can irritate you slightly. Choose a safe place and focus on being more relaxed. Start at the forehead and work your way down. Think about your heart rate, posture, and any body tensions. When your body is not on alert, it can hardly feel fear
Step 3. Breathe
A large part of being nervous or frightened is contained in breathing. When our breathing speeds up, our minds start to lose control. Whether or not it is real, we perceive a threat nearby. The adrenaline starts pumping and something needs to be done (to avoid having a panic attack). The solution is to remember to breathe. You can slow your breathing voluntarily. The increased amount of oxygen will help calm your nerves.
Breath deeply. Too many of us just breathe with the chest, leaving a good part of the lungs unused beyond the diaphragm. So make sure your stomach expands as you inhale, only then will you breathe correctly
Step 4. Live in the moment
Most of the fears are about the future. Every day we are used to worry about things that may never happen. Winston Churchill said, "" When I come to think of all these worries, I remember the story of the old man on his deathbed who has had to face many problems in his life, many of which have never happened. "So when you feel fear growing, think about the present moment. Focus on the smells, its sounds and what you are touching with your fingers. Feel the clothes on your skin and notice which part of your body is colder. What is attracting your gaze? Center yourself on the here and now '.
Imagine that you are about to give a speech and are afraid of speaking in public. Instead of visualizing yourself tripping, stammering, and being a victim of audience laughter, focus on that hideous carpet in the lobby. Think about the sandwich you ate for lunch and feel the sensations it causes in your stomach. Watch the paint peel off the wall near the ceiling. The time has come to go, and you have not focused on a non-existent negative path. Victory
Step 5. Think about your past successes
It might sound simplistic to you, but reliving our achievements (even that time you learned to ride a bike) can be very empowering. What are the best things you have done to overcome adversity? What were you able to do even though you weren't sure you were capable of it? What made you better instead of destroying you?
It may take some time, but the memories will surface. Have you finished school? Were you part of a winning team? Have you cooked / painted / created / written something enjoyable? Have you learned to drive? Can you play an instrument? These are all things you can be proud of
Step 6. Think about the next 20 seconds
Only in the next 20 seconds. When faced with your fears, just focus on the next 20 seconds. Nothing else. At stake is not the rest of your life or your afternoon. All you need is the next 20 seconds. If you can manage them, you have reached your goal. Are you aware of how short 20 seconds are ?!
20 seconds of embarrassing courage. 20 seconds of insatiable taste. 20 seconds of irrepressible wonder. You can manage them can't you? Can you be able to pretend for 1/3 of a minute? Because after those first 20 seconds, everything is over, now it's all downhill
Method 3 of 3: Part Three: Attacking Your Fears
Step 1. Expose yourself
Expose yourself to your fears. It's the only way to do it. You have to walk that ladder to the top. Go to a pet store and look at those snakes or do whatever helps you expose yourself to your fears. You are in the zone, you have made excellent progress.
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As you observe the snakes and feel comfortable, take it one step further. And the next day, do another one. Walk until you can touch the case. One day, keep your hand resting on the glass. The next day, move a finger on the glass. Over time, even without realizing it, you will be stroking the snake or even buying it as a symbol of your strength.
This is just an example, but you can replace the snake with anything else that scares you. In this case it will not necessarily be necessary to 'caress' your fear
Step 2. Carry out the lesson learned
You are sitting in a bar and enjoying your cappuccino, a child enters and stares at you for a long time without any particular reason, he smiles at you without saying anything. In a few years he will be afraid to do the same. These are our adult fears. When we are small, we do not know that we should be afraid. Then as we grow up, we learn that we should be afraid of some things. We are afraid of staring at others. We are afraid to wear some clothes. We are scared of the roller coaster. Some time ago, these fears did not belong to us.
If your fear is social, this analysis will be particularly effective
Step 3. Distract yourself
This indication requires no further explanation. Your brain can only think of one thing at a time, so bombarding it with multiple stimuli, the negative and frightening information will be diverted elsewhere. Keep your iPod with you while waiting at the airport, those sweet jam sessions might be the distraction you need.
Music is a good method, but there are many others. Pinch yourself. Eat a spicy food. List at least 10 fish names. Things that may seem very simple can also be effective
Step 4. Form a support group
Having a friend to go through this process with can make a huge difference. It will be enough for me to take you by the hand! Without embarrassment in doing so. Adults also need support from time to time. A friend will help you keep your feet on the ground, and will be able to distract and defend you.
Ask for the cooperation of a friend or family member. They will be proud of you! Share your plans, tell them how you planned to overcome your fears, and ask them to be present on your journey. Let them know what your likely reactions will be and what you will need. They will only be able to help you if they know how to help you
Step 5. Talk about your fears
Sometimes, when we don't say them out loud, things make sense to us. While when we say them in words we realize how ridiculous they are. This can also happen with fears! Talk about your fears with a trusted person, doing so may be able to bring you back to reality!
Let's say you're afraid to ask your boss for a raise. Your friend asks you what your fears are. You respond by saying, "What if he decides to fire me ?!" …Think carefully. Of all the possible answers, how many chances are there that he will decide to fire you? You might get the raise you want, your boss might refuse, you might know the reasons why you won't get it, and find out how you can get a different answer. But get fired? Absolutely not. Sometimes it is enough to express a concept aloud to realize its weirdness
Step 6. Pretend
While it may seem like little advice, it works. Many people have learned to be confident by pretending to be. Others have learned to be assertive. Still others have managed to overcome their fears by pretending to have overcome them. It can work! The fiction will be enclosed only in your head, no one besides you will know what reality is because in the world of others you will have overcome your fear.
The mind can play tricks. Have you ever tried to smile forcibly and then realize you feel happier? Have you ever forced a yawn and then felt tired? The logic is the same. If you pretend not to be bothered by what scares you, sooner or later, you won't be scared
Step 7. Decide you want more
Sometimes we humans are inclined to be easily satisfied. We stay where we are too easily, staying still until change is absolutely necessary. Fortunately, this process is completely under your control. The moment comes when you want it to come. The moment is when you decide you want more than fear. Suddenly, fear will no longer even be an available option, our desire to overcome it will be greater than fear itself.
This process is simpler with fears directly affecting you in everyday life. If you are afraid of African toucans, it will probably be difficult to get to a point of no endurance. But if you are afraid of the crowd, the desire can be tangible. Focus on the sensation. Use it in your favor. Take the time to realize that being afraid isn't worth it. Use your will to your advantage
Step 8. Reward yourself
Whenever you successfully face a small fear or climb a step up the ladder, reward yourself. Treat yourself to a dessert! Go shopping! Take a nap. You deserve it. You've done something most people can't do. Give yourself a pat on the back and let everyone know. You must be proud of it!
When you overcome a fear, reward yourself appropriately. The greater the fear, the greater the reward. Plan something ahead, we all need to be motivated. When you set yourself rewards and share your progress with someone, you are more likely to succeed. Think positively and you will achieve it
Advice
Read other articles about overcoming fears, preferably on a daily basis. Immerse yourself in the correct mental approach to eliminate fears from your life
Warnings
- Facing your fears doesn't mean putting yourself in dangerous situations. For example, if you are afraid of sharks, do not go swimming with them in the ocean. Address your fears cautiously and intelligently.
- Sometimes you can feel in trouble and not be able to take the step planned for today. It's normal, don't get frustrated. Be ready to leave tomorrow.
