Everyone knows the story of Batman, the comic book hero who fights for justice and leads a life of moral integrity. The reason he became Batman? He decided to overcome his phobia for bats by turning it into a source of incredible strength. Even the bravest people have to deal with their fears. Are you terrified of something tangible, like spiders or heights? You probably fear failure, change, or something that is harder to spot. Regardless of what terrifies you, learn how to recognize, face and overcome your fears so that nothing stands in the way of your existence.
Steps
Part 1 of 4: Understanding Fear
Step 1. Recognize when fears take over
It is normal to be afraid. You may be afraid when you first ride a bike or when you start a new job. However, when fears begin to take control of your life and interfere with your normal daily activities, they become a problem. If they are intense, the resulting difficulties could interfere with your ability to make the most of your life and you could be overwhelmed with anxiety and nervousness. Reflect on your phobias and notice how much they affect your existence. Are they preventing you from achieving your goals? Here are some considerations:
- Your fear causes you anxiety or panic.
- Recognize that your fear is irrational.
- You avoid specific places or situations.
- Escaping the situations that trigger your fears causes a variety of difficulties and interferes with the performance of your activities.
- The fear has been constant for six months or longer.
Step 2. Try to understand the symptoms of fear
Fears often manifest as phobias that can relate to situations (fear of public speaking or raising your hand), certain animals (snakes or spiders), blood and injections, etc. Physiological, mental and emotional reactions can occur when you are afraid, which could include:
- Tachycardia.
- Difficulty in breathing.
- Dizziness
- Excessive sweating.
- Intense anxiety and panic attacks.
- Need to escape.
- Sense of detachment from reality.
- Feeling of dying or passing out.
- Feeling helpless in the face of fear even though you are aware that it is irrational.
Step 3. Reflect on any traumatic events
If you have been in a car accident, driving a car could scare you - or perhaps you prefer to even avoid driving. Probably, if you've been mugged on your way home, the thought of walking home again causes panic. There are many ways in which fears develop, and it is natural to want to avoid the repetition of painful past experiences.
Although fear is a natural reaction to these kinds of events, some of them are inevitable. Realize that your fear, while justified, still needs to be addressed
Step 4. Consider that fears sometimes originate in childhood
You may be very afraid of snakes but don't know why. Some testimonies highlight how fears can be biologically transmitted from parents to children. Others suggest that children especially decode environmental information and develop fears based on observing what could pose a threat. By observing how adults interact with an object or behave in certain situations, the child learns to establish associations such as "frightening" or "potentially dangerous", regardless of the actual risk.
Step 5. Realize that it is natural to be afraid
Fear is a necessary reaction for our survival, as it saves our lives. Do you climb the edge of a cliff and are suddenly afraid? This represents an adaptive reaction that warns you of the danger that sends you the signal: “It could be dangerous and cost you your life. Be careful". Fear triggers a "fight or flight" mechanism that prepares us to act to preserve our safety.
Realize that fear can have a positive side and that it assumes a fundamental adaptive and protective utility
Part 2 of 4: Relating to Your Fear
Step 1. Learn to accept your specific fears
It's easy to ignore or not admit to being afraid, even to yourself. But courage cannot come into play, unless it has to overcome your fear. By taking control of your emotions, you will take the first step in managing the situation.
- Name your fear. Sometimes it is immediately and clearly recognized, but at other times it is more difficult to name the feelings of anxiety that lurk in the back of your thoughts. Let your fear surface and give it a name. It could be a concrete fear (such as fear of cats) or situational (such as a fear of being questioned at school).
- Don't judge your fears. Learn to recognize what is happening, without thinking about what is "right" or "wrong".
Step 2. Try to understand the root cause of your fear
Is it something tangible, like the sight of a snake on a path? Perhaps when you cross the corridor of your school, passing in front of the door of the professional guidance expert's office, your mind enters a downward spiral. Go in search of anything that triggers your fears. The more you can understand your fear, the better.
Step 3. Ask yourself about the power that fear has over you
Does it force you to stay in bed instead of getting up and going on a class you fear you won't pass? Do you avoid visiting family members who live abroad because you don't want to take the plane? Find out exactly how much fear affects your thoughts and behavior.
Step 4. Imagine the result you want
Now that you know your fear better, think about exactly what you would like to change. Imagine living a life free of fear - how do you feel? For instance:
- If you are afraid of committing to a relationship, imagine being happy next to a partner.
- If you fear heights, imagine yourself taking a challenging mountain hike and enjoy the feeling of success.
- If you are afraid of spiders, imagine you see a spider and remain indifferent.
Part 3 of 4: Coping with Fears
Step 1. Identify the wrong beliefs
Many fears are based on misconceptions or catastrophic thoughts. When you see a spider, you may mistakenly think it will bite you and you will die. Identify these thought patterns and start questioning them. Research online and try to understand the difference between real and perceived danger. Admit that the worst case scenario is highly unlikely. Start reframing your thoughts so as not to run into catastrophic thoughts and to start reacting.
When you are assailed by fear, stop and reflect on the real danger. React to your negative thoughts or mistaken beliefs and repeat to yourself: “It is true that some dogs are ferocious, but the vast majority of them are meek. It is unlikely that I will suffer an attack”
Step 2. Try the gradual exposure technique
After dealing with the wrong beliefs, start facing fear. We are often afraid of something because we have not exposed ourselves sufficiently to what triggers it. The "fear of the unknown" is a phrase commonly used to describe the automatic aversion that people feel towards the different.
- If you are afraid of dogs, start by looking at a bizarre colored dog doodle. Watch it until you feel no fear-induced reaction.
- Next look at the photo and video of a dog. Watch it until you are no longer afraid.
- Go to a park where you know you will encounter one or more dogs on a leash and observe them until you are not afraid.
- Go to a friend of yours who has a dog and watch him interact with him until he provokes any reaction.
- Ask a friend to let you touch or pet his dog while he holds him until the dog's presence no longer frightens you.
- Finally, approach a dog and spend time alone with him.
Step 3. Practice coping with fear
The ability to define your emotions is useful for self understanding and emotional intelligence. It also appears that facing a fear and verbalizing it has incredible power to help overcome fears and control emotions. Some research exposed individuals with arachnophobia to a spider, and those who named their fears (“I'm very afraid of spiders”) were less frightened when they were exposed to a different spider the following week.
Avoiding fears doesn't help you overcome them. The next time you are afraid, deal with it verbally, using terms that describe your fear and anxiety
Step 4. Learn relaxation techniques
When you are assailed by fear, many triggers prepare your body for a "fight or flight" reaction; learn to overcome this reaction by neutralizing it through relaxation techniques. These transmit the message to your body that there is no danger and that you are safe, and can also help you deal with other sources of stress and anxiety in your life.
- Try to breathe deeply. Concentrate on your breathing and start counting: inhale for 4 seconds and exhale for another 4. After you feel comfortable extend your breath to 6 seconds.
- If you notice that your muscles are tense, try to relax them. One way to do this is to contract each muscle in the body for 3 seconds and then relax it. Repeat this exercise two to three times to relieve stress throughout the body.
Part 4 of 4: Benefit from Fears
Step 1. Make your fear a source of inspiration
The same things we fear also arouse a feeling of excitement and even passion in us - that's why people love extreme sports, horror movies, and swimming with sharks when they are on vacation. Try to see fear in a positive light and recognize the thrill it can offer you. As you begin to view fear as a source of energy, you may also accept its role in your life.
Step 2. Harness the power of fear
This can exert considerable power in life or death situations. People talk about the perception of time slowing down, senses sharpening and the ability to instinctively know how to act. While the communication system within our body takes about half a second to reach awareness, in cases of intense and sudden fear the nervous system is activated much faster. Fear also dulls our awareness of pain.
- Understanding the positives of fear can help you use it to your advantage. For example, many people suffer from stage anxiety, but the fear that precedes the performance can help you be present and focus on what is in front of you. Learn to recognize fear and then try to channel it towards what you need most.
- Most people are afraid before an event, but overcome it when they face the situation. Remember that fear sharpens your senses so that you have the ability to have a more effective and intense performance.
Step 3. Start seeing fear as an opportunity
Fear can be used as a tool to identify problems and resolve them properly. It is an indication, an alarm bell that warns us of something that needs our attention. When the discomfort of the initial fear wears off, examine it more carefully for lessons.
- When you are afraid of something that is unfamiliar to you, consider it as a signal that you need to get to know a person or a situation.
- If you are afraid of an upcoming deadline or event, take the opportunity to establish an action plan to be more ready, for example, prepare a schedule, rehearse the play or practice on the speech to be given.
Advice
- If your fears seem to be taking over, see a counselor. A specialist can help you pinpoint the cause of your fears and develop new strategies for dealing with them.
- Use your imagination to calm down, not to scare you.
- Don't lose momentum. A lot of effort is needed to deal with fear. When faced with obstacles, you may be tempted to give up. You must be determined to persevere even when it seems impossible to you.
