Sometimes awareness of one's existence can cause apprehension, anxiety or distress. It is called existential fear. You may feel disheartened by the weight of your personal responsibilities or by the forces that surround you and over which you have no control. Although existential fears seem insurmountable, you can learn to face them and find meaning in life.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Managing Fear in a Balanced Way
Step 1. Questioned
Try to make sense of life from your existential fears. To do this, you might ask yourself questions. Among the most common things to think about consider, "Who am I? Why am I here? What is my purpose?" While these questions may scare you or make you anxious, they will allow you to make sense of your life.
Step 2. Consider fear as information
Instead of reacting impulsively to your fears, step back and analyze your reactions. Consider changing your relationship with fear by asking yourself, "Where did it come from and how did it come about?" Face it with an attitude of curiosity.
For example, if you are afraid of death, investigate further. Don't get distracted by negative feelings or sad thoughts. Rather, take note and reflect. What can you learn by analyzing this fear?
Step 3. Consider how existential fears can affect your life
Sometimes, they are connected to other concerns or events that happen in life. By analyzing them, you will be able to live with greater determination and decide if there is a need to make a major change to meet this goal.
- For example, the fear of dying or not being there could be linked to a lack of control in one's life. Maybe you feel like you can't control her because you have an unrewarding relationship or a boring job.
- By identifying which aspect of your life makes you believe you can't control it, you could make adjustments to take control of the situation, perhaps by going to couples therapy or looking for a different job.
Step 4. Take Your Responsibilities
Fear can make you feel helpless or "stuck", while absolute freedom can generate a sense of overwhelm. On the other hand, even limited freedom risks making you feel trapped and hopeless. Therefore, you recognize that you are free to the extent that you have autonomy in making choices. Then accept the fact that freedom inevitably comes with responsibilities, which means that when you make a decision, you are responsible for the consequences that come with it.
You may feel "stuck" in a job, a city, a marriage, or a particular life situation. Remember that you have the opportunity to savor the pleasure of freedom in any circumstance. The important thing is to consider the consequences that arise from your choices and react responsibly
Step 5. Be optimistic
You may feel disheartened or come to the conclusion that nothing really matters. There are various ways to deal with existential fears. You can get overwhelmed by your worries or choose to see them from a different perspective. For example, recognize that while you are able to feel anxiety and fear on the one hand, you also have the ability to experience opposite sensations, such as calm and confidence. So, don't lose hope when facing your fears.
- Identify your strengths and realize that if you feel desperate in certain situations, you have the energy and the means to recover. Make a list of your strengths and recognize which ones allow you to fight your despair.
- For more information, read the article How to Cultivate Hope.
Part 2 of 3: Making Your Life Meaningful
Step 1. Build meaningful relationships
It is not enough to have friends and family to find meaning in life. Even if the presence of loved ones contributes to one's happiness, it is the deeper relationships that allow one to grow, improve one's self-esteem and perceive a sense of union with people.
- Be open and willing to show your frailties to the people you love. Dedicate your time to the special people in your life and deepen your relationships. Share your thoughts, your emotions, your fears, your difficulties, your accomplishments and your goals.
- By isolating yourself, you risk creating a void around you, while by relating to others, you can enrich your life thanks to their presence and increase your well-being.
Step 2. Live in the present
Sometimes you will think that if you had made different decisions in the past, you would have been much happier or satisfied today. Conversely, if you continue to evaluate your choices and ask yourself, "What would happen?", You may feel like you are only projected into the future. To face existential fears, you must learn to live in the present. Forget the past and don't think about the future. Instead, focus on what's going on Right now.
If you find yourself thinking, "I should have acted this way" or "I regret not doing it", come back to the present and ask yourself, "What can I do now?"
Step 3. Understand the meaning of the past, present and future
While living in the present can help you stay focused on yourself and have no regrets, it is necessary to combine certain aspects of the past, present and future together to find meaning in life. Ask yourself what experiences from your past have helped give you strength, courage, and balance. Then think about how you can use these qualities to build your future.
Try to integrate past, present and future in a concrete way. For example, if you are an athlete, you can aim to participate in a sports competition. The hard training, the injuries suffered, the mistakes made and the frustration suffered will help you develop the skills you will need to compete. To prepare for your tomorrow, reflect on how you have overcome the problems of the past and analyze the solutions you think you will adopt in the future
Step 4. Learn to manage your challenges
We cannot escape difficult moments and unpleasant emotions: sooner or later everyone goes to meet this destiny. No life is without difficulty, pain or suffering. When you are faced with a difficult situation, don't run away and don't ignore it. Rather, accept the difficulties and learn to manage yourself emotionally. Make sense of this whole experience.
- You can find it by recognizing the benefits you have received. Ask yourself, "How has this experience affected my life and what lesson have I learned?"
- We tend to be drawn to the stories of people who have overcome obstacles and have become stronger after facing their fears. It is a theme present in history, as in the case of Joan of Arc, in literature and legends, for example in the novel of "The Wizard of Oz" or in the story of Mulan, or in the biographies of famous people, such as Helen Keller, Marie Curie and Malala Yousafzai.
Step 5. Make the most of it
Valuing oneself means expressing oneself fully and committing oneself to a purpose. Recognize that your contribution to the world is valuable. Find something that makes you feel satisfied and get to work.
- You could give your best by volunteering with children or climbing rocks. Keep in mind that passions are important for building our identity, they bring a ray of sunshine into life and help us understand who we are.
- Valuing oneself means expressing oneself with all one's enthusiasm. Use your creativity through music, dance, painting, drawing, dialectics, writing or whatever helps you communicate your personality.
Part 3 of 3: Overcoming Existential Fears
Step 1. Follow existential therapy
This form of psychotherapy is based on the principle of responsibility and personal freedom, therefore it excludes the attitude of accusation towards others for unpleasant facts or sensations and, at the same time, recognizes the patient's control of some aspects of life and the possibility of exercise it. Its main purpose is to teach self-awareness and decision making. The ability to orient yourself responsibly is one of the cornerstones of this psychotherapy, so the therapist can help you to stave off anxiety and consciously accept all your choices and the consequences that come with them.
- The therapist may awaken your creativity, your ability to love, your spontaneity and free will so that you can change and cope with difficulties and give meaning to your life.
- Find a professional who specializes in existential psychology in your city.
Step 2. Learn about medications
According to a study, pain relievers can relieve the symptoms of existential fears. Assuming that pain goes beyond physical discomfort, the researchers looked at the effects of acetaminophen. It seems to be able to eliminate some symptoms of existential anguish or a sense of uncertainty.
Paracetamol is an over-the-counter drug, but before taking it to manage your life fears talk to your doctor, as this use is not included in the indications. It can also cause allergies and other reactions in some people
Step 3. Consider having children
Some people feel less anxious about the thought of death if they have children or plan to have them. One of the benefits of being a parent is to be able to pass on your knowledge to your children and, in this way, think about surviving even after your death.
- For example, a parent can pass on a love for animals to their child, or a figure skater can be proud if their child starts ice skating.
- However, you should think carefully about becoming a parent. Don't view the birth of a child as just a way to alleviate your existential fears.
Step 4. Recognize when you can question yourself and when you need to let go
Don't worry about the questions. Find a balance between your curiosity and being able to say categorically: "I don't know and it's not a problem". Recognize when it's time to let go.
