There are times when emotions need to be put aside to overcome critical situations. It is a memorable time when a gymnast, during the Olympic Games, decided to perform after she sprained her ankle in order to support her team. While it is not advisable to live in a continuous state of pain and repressed emotions, it is good to learn to manage suffering to cope with the most difficult circumstances. You probably won't be able to completely ignore the pain and emotions you feel, but you can learn to redirect these feelings so that you don't get overwhelmed by negative events.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Managing Physical Pain
Step 1. Use guided imagery
It is a technique that helps to relax the mind and body. Imagine that you are in a place you like (a beach, on top of a mountain, surrounded by trees in the rainforest) and try to visualize it in your mind in the most real way possible. Smell the air, observe your surroundings and imagine that you are keeping your feet firmly on the ground. Think you are there in perfect health. Don't be in a hurry, but dedicate all the time you need to savor this experience, wandering your mind in your ideal place.
When you use guided imagery, you are in control. If you are in terrible pain, don't hesitate to hover in your vision. You are able to create any scenario you wish
Step 2. Engage the other senses
When you suffer, the balance between the senses perceiving external things and the ability to focus on sensations can be impaired. So, try to use your senses in a conscious way: listen to the surrounding noises (the cars outside, the gardener cutting the grass); smell the air or take your time to smell the food; observe the surrounding environment with your eyes; feel the texture of your clothes on the skin. Make sure that your body is able to feel, in addition to pain, also other stimuli.
By exploiting all the senses in moments of great pain, you will be able to focus on other aspects and regain a sensory balance
Step 3. Focus on the physical sensations
It may seem counterintuitive, but try to identify what you perceive. Are you hot, cold, a burning sensation, dull, localized or generalized pain? By doing so, you have the opportunity to begin experiencing pain not as a static experience, but as an ever-changing phenomenon. Relate to what you are experiencing in a conscious way, by observing.
- By focusing on the physical sensation and not the "pain", you can change the way you feel it.
- You see the whole situation as if you were looking at your body, not as if you were in pain. By changing your perception, you will be able to get psychophysical relief from negative experiences. This way, you are less likely to get stuck in the idea of how unbearable your pain is.
Step 4. Pretend you are not in pain
The concept of "pretend you can" can also be applied to pain. If you are convinced that the situation will get worse, do not be surprised if the pain begins to increase. The more you believe you can not suffer, the more you will not suffer.
- Tell yourself: "I'm getting better every day" and "The pain is slowly disappearing."
- You can also say: "I don't feel any pain" and "My body is working fine".
Step 5. Be kind to your body
Remember that the body is not rebelling against you and that it does not intend to intentionally harm you. Treat him with love, kindness, and respect, especially as he is in pain. He doesn't want to nag you on purpose.
Express your love for him by treating him kindly, giving him the rest he deserves, and eating healthily to help him recover
Step 6. See a pain specialist
To deal with chronic pain, you should see a pain specialist. Even if you prefer to smile and bear, you may be able to alleviate your suffering with methods not foreseen by mainstream medicine, perhaps by changing your posture or using a pillow.
Sometimes the pain does not go away, in fact it can get worse over time. Listen to your body and seek medical attention when necessary
Part 2 of 3: Changing the Mental Attitude
Step 1. Observe your thoughts
When you suffer, you will probably be convinced that the pain will never go away or that you will not be able to bear it. In such circumstances, don't dismiss the emotional reactions that accompany these thoughts, such as feeling bad, uncomfortable, angry, or scared. Learn to restructure your thoughts and you will find that your feelings begin to change too.
- When you find yourself being too pessimistic, try replacing negative thoughts with other thoughts. Instead of mulling over your despair, think, "I'm getting better by the day."
- Instead of thinking your pain is unbearable, think, "I can handle it and focus on other things."
Step 2. Turn your attention elsewhere
It is easy to focus on what is making us feel bad, but try to direct your attention to a fully healthy and functioning part of the body. You might watch your hands and fingers move effortlessly or wiggle your toes. Relax as you observe and perceive these sensations, allowing the dominant ones to prevail over the others. Even if the pain you feel is overwhelming, this exercise can remind you that not the whole body is in pain.
You can also focus on blinking, feeling all the ease and control with which the body can handle this gesture on its own
Step 3. Choose not to suffer
Suffering finds fertile ground when we relive past experiences, blame others, or repeat to ourselves how desperate we are. Remember that pain is relative and based on an emotional experience, not your surroundings. Even if you do not have the possibility to live peacefully, you can choose how to react in the face of your suffering.
- Instead of thinking "Bad luck haunts me", you say to yourself "I didn't choose this situation, but I accept it because I don't want to suffer anymore."
- Establish a practice or ritual that allows you to learn not to suffer. You can choose a phrase to repeat as if it were a mantra every time your mind is assaulted by negative thoughts, for example: "I have decided to react to physical sensations without suffering".
- We spend most of our lives thinking that suffering is not a problem, so take the time to adjust to this new vision. Realize that you cannot change your mindset out of the blue and that there may be days when you tend to feel sorry for yourself.
Step 4. Be positive
By thinking positively, you will be able to live more peacefully and without stress. Instead of focusing on the negative aspects of your life, think about the positive: your recovery, all the good things you are earning, and the care you are receiving.
Don't get caught up in the idea that it's all "black or white". If you feel guilty about the pain you are experiencing or making bad decisions, remember that the consequences are affected by many factors. Give yourself the opportunity to understand all sides of a situation, even the gray areas
Step 5. Accept the circumstances
Even if you don't like your current situation, try to accept what you can't control. For example, you cannot eliminate physical or emotional pain, but you are able to accept the role it plays in your reality. Even if acceptance is not easy, you will be able to relieve stress and live with greater peace of mind.
When you suffer and the feelings get complicated, take a few deep breaths and say to yourself: "I don't like what I'm going through, but right now I accept it because it's part of my life"
Part 3 of 3: Adding Positive Elements into Life
Step 1. Taste happiness
Don't waste time thinking about what you are missing or what you could do if you didn't suffer. Instead, focus on discovering the best things about your life right now. Happiness often lies in the little things or when "you stop and smell the roses". When your spirits are low, find pleasure in the simplest things: in a nice letter written by a friend, in a warm and comfortable blanket to wrap yourself in or in the cuddles of a cuddly kitten.
- Engage in activities that bring you joy, such as coloring, drawing, dancing, or playing with your dog.
- When you start experiencing negative emotions, dedicate yourself to something that gives you pleasure, even if it's just a cup of tea.
Step 2. Be grateful
When you're in the throes of deepest pain, you'll likely have a hard time finding something to be grateful for, but give it a try. Gratitude allows you to go beyond the negative experience you are having and appreciate life with a smile.
- To feel grateful, try to focus on the most beautiful emotions and not the pain or feelings that bring you sadness.
- Try keeping a gratitude journal, noting everything you are grateful for each day. You may feel grateful for sleeping wrapped in clean, fragrant sheets, for eating a delicious dish, or for purchasing something you crave.
Step 3. Smile
Did you know that a smile can improve mood? By smiling, you will give yourself a chance to feel happier, and if you are, you will tend to smile more. Even if you are in pain, angry or upset, bring the smile back to your face and see if you can perceive pain or negative emotions differently.
Try to grasp all the sensations that arise from a smile and begin to savor this joy
Step 4. Laugh
By laughing, you can relax physically, improve your mood and offer numerous benefits to the mind and body. You don't have to go too far to find something that makes you laugh: watch a video or a comedy show on television, invite some nice friends over for a game night or read a fun book.
Everyone has their own sense of humor, so anything will do as long as it makes you laugh
Step 5. Keep in touch with friends
Don't isolate yourself in difficult times, but look for your friends! Surround yourself with jovial people who maintain a positive attitude. Dedicate your time to people who don't have a hard time laughing, smile often, and feel comfortable with.
If you create a vacuum around yourself, realize that by isolating yourself you risk fueling depression. Contact with others is important for living a healthy life
Step 6. Seek help
If you feel like your pain is too great to ignore or deal with on your own, talk to someone. Whether it's consulting a therapist or having a chat with a friend, try to figure out what could help you.
- Don't forget that there are people who love you and care about you.
- If you feel sad very often and feel like you have no hope, it is likely that you are suffering from depression. For more information, see these articles: How To Know If You Have Depression and How To Recover From Depression.
- If you need to see a psychotherapist, read the article How to Choose a Psychologist.
