In a relationship, sometimes it is necessary to take a mental break. Marriage can be stressful, so sometimes it's best to ignore your partner's bad habits or moodiness. When it is necessary to ignore your husband, you can use many tactics. However, keep in mind that treating him coldly for prolonged periods can be toxic to the couple. If there's an underlying problem that's been bothering you for a while, work hard to address it rather than sweep it under the rug.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Ignoring a Husband in a Healthy Way
Step 1. Ignore your husband's bad mood
If he's angry or in a bad mood, sometimes it's best to leave it alone. It is often difficult to reason with angry people. In this situation, it is appropriate and even healthy to simply ignore it until it has calmed down.
- Often, when a person is in a bad mood, they are more likely to argue. For example, if your husband has had a bad day at work, he may have a disproportionate reaction to your every little indiscretion. If you know he's in a bad mood, don't take it personally if he verbally assaults you.
- If your husband is angry and trying to start a fight, the best reaction is to disregard it. Ignoring the taunt can feel like a defeat. Instead, it can turn out to be more productive. An angry person will not listen to any logic or reason and will not soften even when you try to apologize or defend yourself. If your husband tries to stir up an argument, give concise answers, such as "Yes" or "Ok," until he gives up and leaves you alone.
- It is not a long-term solution. In the short term, ignoring your husband's anger can be effective in getting through a difficult time, but you shouldn't do it regularly. Every now and then it happens to everyone to make a mistake and verbally attack a loved one because of a bad day or a bad mood. However, when it is a dynamic that repeats itself regularly, it can become a real problem. If your husband is naturally fickle, you should discuss this behavior together.
Step 2. Go to bed angry
If you and your husband argue late, sometimes it's best to go to sleep. Try to ignore the negative feelings you have towards him and sleep. If you're still upset the next day, you can talk to him about it when you've both calmed down.
- If you argue with your husband late, tell him you're going to bed. Try to ignore everything he has done to upset or demoralize you. You can try relaxation techniques, stretch your toe muscles, breathe deeply, and count. These exercises will help you ignore the situation and fall asleep faster.
- If you argue late at night, you risk saying something you don't really think. The brain does not perform at its best in moments of fatigue, so it becomes difficult to explain one's frustrations to someone. Also, people are more irritable in the evening. In the morning you should have a more positive disposition, you will be more prepared to face problems and make peace.
Step 3. Learn to accept some bad habits
Everyone has them. People often don't have the faintest idea that their own behavior could be annoying to someone else. If your husband has a habit or tendency that gets on your nerves, it may be better to ignore it than to try to change it.
- Unfortunately, some bad habits cannot be changed. For example, does your husband always forget to throw away the orange juice carton when it is empty, even if you have reminded him more than once? In this case, it would be best to resign yourself and do it yourself. Accepting their bad habits can help you ignore them more easily.
- In some situations you can even settle for a partial win. Your husband may never remember putting dirty towels in the laundry basket after taking a shower, but he may stop leaving them on the bedroom floor.
- Distance yourself from behaviors that are bothering you. Don't take them personally. A bad habit, like leaving the lights on in an empty room, is simply a bad habit. It has nothing to do with the esteem or respect he has for you.
Step 4. Distract yourself
If you have trouble ignoring your husband, look for something to do. Sometimes the best way to deal with the situation is just that. Read a book, go for a bike ride, try a new hobby, clean the house. You will be able to do many things to not think about your partner for a few hours. This can help you ignore it and, when you're ready, talk about the problem.
Step 5. Be polite, but try to have a certain demeanor
If you feel the need to ignore it for a while, you don't have to be grumpy. There is the possibility of politely ignoring someone. It's a more mature way to deal with relationship tensions.
- When you are in the same room, acknowledge his presence with composure and politeness. If you usually have a more relaxed attitude around the house, try acting like you're at a party with someone you don't know very well. Nod when he talks, smile at appropriate times, but don't talk more or less, and don't engage in other types of informal conversation.
- You can also try to avoid being in the same room he is in. For example, if it's in the living room, you could go to the bedroom. You can inform him of your move by apologizing in a concise and formal way. For example, say, "If you don't mind, I'll go upstairs."
Step 6. Communicate indirectly
If you're not in the mood to talk to your husband, try indirect communication. The silence strike can be very cruel and is generally ineffective in resolving conflicts. If you are angry with your husband and feel the need to ignore him, look for a way to communicate to avoid confusing him. For example, you can text him or leave him a note without speaking to him personally.
If you are troubled by something and need space for a few days, you should let them know in advance. Are you too angry to talk about it? Write him a letter or email him to explain. Don't ignore him without warning him
Step 7. Answer hastily
This is another useful way to ignore someone without resorting to the silence strike completely. You can simply give short answers, such as "Yes" and "Ok". These concise forms of communication leave little room for real conversation. They can let him know that you are not in the mood to talk to him for the moment.
Part 2 of 3: Addressing More Serious Matters
Step 1. Focus on yourself
If you want to ignore your husband, you need to understand what is driving you into this behavior. In a relationship, it is very rare for a person to be solely responsible for a problem. It is possible that you yourself have a tendency to blame your husband (unintentionally) in times of bad mood or unhappiness. Stop for a moment to consider what is bothering you.
- Are there any aspects of marriage that you might approach differently? Aren't you as present as you used to be? Do you happen to take your husband for granted? Could you deal with annoying behaviors with a smile on your face?
- Are you troubled by a more serious problem? If there is something that stresses you or makes you unhappy, it can sneak in between you, even if it wasn't related to marriage. For example, if you are dissatisfied at work, you may be more irritable. You may not want to pay attention when your husband talks to you about what happened at the gym. If there is something in your life that worries you, talk to him about it. Then, make an effort to change the situation so that you are a happier person in general.
Step 2. Consider if your marriage is having problems
In fact, it's possible that it's not just a matter of you. If you often find yourself wanting to ignore your husband, your marriage could be in jeopardy. Maybe he talks to you in a way you don't like. Maybe you think you have no more time to devote to yourself. Or you are sexually dissatisfied. If you think there's a problem you both should be working on, roll up your sleeves. Ignoring your husband isn't a feasible long-term solution.
Step 3. Take some time to discuss the matter
It can be stressful to talk about a serious marriage problem. Try to at least partially dissipate this stress by organizing the right time and place to talk.
- Choose a place free of distractions. For example, don't talk about it in a busy restaurant. Instead, try to sit in the living room, with the television off.
- Avoid doing this when you have external obligations. For example, if you have a meeting with your child's teachers at seven, don't make an appointment with your husband at six. Choose a suitable evening during the week or weekend when neither of you has any other plans or external commitments.
Step 4. If something is bothering you, use first person singular sentences
When you talk about the things that alarm you, it is important to express yourself in the right way. Working out first-person singular sentences serves to highlight your feelings, while avoiding judging or blaming your interlocutor with objective facts.
- First person singular sentences should first focus on the emotions you feel due to a given situation. You need to take responsibility for your feelings, so that you judge as little as possible. You don't have to state objective facts about your marriage, you simply have to express how you feel about certain situations.
- First person singular sentences are made up of three parts. Start by saying "I feel", then express your emotion and explain why you are this way.
- When discussing your marriage, don't make statements like, "When you answer me badly after a bad day at work, you don't respect me." Instead, elaborate on it yourself by saying, "I feel bad when you take it out on me after a bad day at work. I don't want to be in a relationship where yelling at is the norm."
Step 5. Use non-verbal forms of reassurance
Sometimes, after an argument, it may be necessary to take a few days to calm down. You may be ignoring your husband by talking less. However, you should compensate for the lack of verbal communication by using non-verbal forms of reassurance. Physically show your affection. Hug him and kiss him before going out. When you are seated, take him by the hand or place your palm on his knee. Work on making him feel secure in the relationship, even when the couple is dealing with conflict.
Part 3 of 3: Avoiding the Pitfalls
Step 1. Try to understand which behaviors need to be corrected
If you feel the need to ignore your husband, this can be a sign that something is wrong with the relationship. On the one hand, it's healthy to ignore certain flaws or turn a blind eye, but there are downsides to a relationship that need to be improved.
- If your husband is having trouble managing anger, it is imperative that you discuss it. As anticipated, it can be healthy to ignore an occasional moment of anger. However, if your husband routinely picks on you when he's angry, you need to talk to him about it.
- Alcoholism and drug addiction damage a relationship. If your husband has a drug or alcohol problem, you should talk to him and encourage him to detox. Don't just ignore the situation.
- Unless you are an open couple, extramarital affairs should not be ignored. If you suspect infidelity, compare yourself with your husband.
Step 2. Don't ignore the positives
Taking your husband for granted can seriously damage the relationship. Even though she is angry with him, she tries to appreciate the good things he does.
- Even for the little things, like grocery shopping or taking out the trash, she deserves a thank you and a kiss. Generally, people feel good when someone expresses gratitude or affection to them.
- If you've been with someone for a long time, you can often forget how much you appreciate them. Every so often, try to think about how you would react if your husband was a stranger. If someone you don't know opens the door for you or lets you sit on the bus, you won't hesitate to say "thank you". Don't forget to thank your partner.
Step 3. Don't go on strike of silence, which consists of ignoring someone who has upset you in order to punish him
It is toxic to a healthy marriage. It is a form of passive-aggressive coping that only causes communication problems and confusion. Never use it with your husband to manipulate him. If you need space for a few days, tell him why you are angry and why you may be quieter than usual.
Step 4. Don't ignore your husband for more than a few days
Remember this behavior is incredibly painful. Many find that being ignored is worse than being reprimanded or having a confrontation. If you need space for a certain amount of time, that's no problem. You can also ignore a certain behavior or habit. However, completely ignoring your husband will hurt and confuse him. Do not block the communication for more than a few days. Also, if you need a break or some space, let them know in time. This will cushion the blow.
Step 5. If necessary, consult a psychotherapist
Ignoring your husband can be a sign of some marital instability. If you often find yourself wanting to do this, propose to see a marriage counselor. He can give you some tips and tricks to get the wedding back on track. You can find a specialist on the internet, or ask your current doctor or psychotherapist to recommend one.
