Paying a compliment to a woman who interests you is a simple but effective way to make her feel special. Unfortunately, not all guys know how to give nice compliments. Some are wrong in saying the obvious, others exaggerate by putting together so many compliments that they are empty and meaningless. The art of complimenting is a noble one, and if you learn it well, it will make you look really attractive and romantic with women.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Finding Compliments
Step 1. Identify what he loves about himself
First, try to think about what the woman loves about herself. Try to go beyond clothes and makeup, because she might do it more for other people than for herself. Try to think of something that he really cares about. For example, she might be really proud of her ability to play an instrument or maybe she's really good with children. They are good ideas for the compliment.
For example, you can say something like, "You are really loving and kind to everyone, even when they make it really hard for you to be. It's wonderful. I wish there were more people like you!"
Step 2. Look for what he values in others
Think about how he talks about others. You've probably already seen her compliment someone or talk about someone or something she admires. Note the key phrases, such as "I wish …", as this explains very directly what she wants for herself. Now, think about when she demonstrated that quality in her daily life. Many women, at least occasionally, display the same qualities they admire but don't think they have. By showing her that she can be the person she wants to be, you can earn tons of points.
- For example, try saying something like, "I think it's funny that you don't think you're as smart as he is. I mean… last year I couldn't have been in that relationship without your help."
- You can also say something like this: "Don't worry about being patient like Gina. You're not just patient, you're also very understanding. Just look at how you handled that thing with Franco!"
Step 3. Think about what works to improve
Look at the character flaws and bad habits you know she works hard on to improve and then praise her when she achieves success. You may not want to talk directly about what she worked really hard on, but complimenting her on her behavior can be really uplifting. You know how difficult it is to improve!
For example, try saying something like, "You really stood up to that meeting. I admire you … I don't think I could" after she was unscathed by her boss's sarcasm
Step 4. Go beyond beauty
Beauty compliments are complicated. Many women love to receive them. However, they can have many negative consequences for both of you. She is probably used to people telling her she's cool for trying to get something out of her. It can also have long-term consequences, as she may think you like her just because she's pretty (this would cause her problems as she fades, as she ages). Use compliments about her beauty sparingly and use them in a context where they really make sense, like when you're together for a special occasion.
For example, try saying something like this: "Lucia will also be the bride but you, for me, are the most beautiful woman in the room!"
Step 5. Compliment yourself on something new
You will show that you pay attention to her. Generally, men aren't expected to notice any details, such as a change in her hair or a new pair of earrings, so you will impress. Of course, this means that you will really have to pay attention.
For example, try saying something like, "I don't normally care about shoes, but there's something about those shoes that says you'll be the queen of this room today."
Step 6. Let compliments arise naturally:
they are much more meaningful when they are natural - when you say exactly what you think, reacting to the specific situation you are in. This is because it tells her that you don't have time to plan it and that you are honest. When you see him doing or saying something you admire, just point it out.
Of course, this can be dangerous. You need to think about what this compliment would sound like. Try to see the compliment from his point of view. Does it show that he did something wrong before? Does it make her look weak, expressionless or something like that? Learning how to truly have respect for her can help you avoid such situations
Part 2 of 3: Saying the Right Things
Step 1. Be specific
Don't just compliment something too general about her ("Hair is beautiful", "You have beautiful eyes"). Specificity is your friend, because it shows her that you can pay her a special compliment for her. Instead of generalizing, say something like "Your eyes make your face so bright and happy …" or "I like you with this haircut because I can see your pretty face better."
Step 2. Make the compliment to her unique
Be creative when complimenting her. It's nice to compliment hair and eyes, when done correctly, as discussed above, but it's still very mundane and common. You're not the first person to tell her she has nice hair, you know? Get creative with compliments to show her that she's the only one who grabs your attention and that you're not trying to get just any girl.
Try compliments like "I like it when you talk, because your voice sounds familiar" or "You are so elegant … you remind me of Audrey Hepburn"
Step 3. Compliment those characteristics she can control, as complimenting her on what she can't handle could lead to tension and insecurity in the future
Imagine a woman who has only ever received the compliment "You are beautiful": she will be proud and happy in the moment, but she will come to identify a large part of her value in beauty. As she ages, she will be less beautiful by the classic canons and may experience poor self-esteem. And you don't want that to happen!
- Examples of elements he can control are: his training, his determination, his skills, his successes, his personality and his interactions.
- Examples of things that are not in her control: her eyes, skin color, anything that relates to her age and overall beauty.
- Also, complimenting a woman on something she can't control is like someone complimenting you on your neighbor's new job. She actually has nothing to do with certain characteristics, so it is more difficult for her to be happy or flattered.
Step 4. Don't make sexual comments to a woman you're not with
No do not do it. Some jokes won't help you. Even the most elegant sexual comments are not suitable. Avoid any compliments or comments that imply or state that you want to have sex with her, if she's not your girlfriend. A woman is in the unfavorable position of having to constantly wonder if the guy who starts making sexual comments on her is just trying to do his best or is a potential rapist. Don't leave this doubt to her.
Step 5. Also seriously avoid dull compliments
Comparing it to a rose or the moon (for example) is obviously an exaggerated and insincere compliment. It is only made to strike, not because it specifically refers to your lady.
You could make an excessive compliment like "Your smile is like a summer's day" passable if the context was correct and you really, very honestly meant it. In general, though, avoid any compliments that sound like they come out of a novel or out of the mouth of a kid at the bar. It is difficult to make them work
Step 6. Beware of degrading language
You have to be alert to all those compliments that work by depreciating others. Even if they were very flattering to her, they could reveal something unpleasant about your personality. The woman who receives them may wonder if she will be the next to be mocked.
- For example, don't say something like "Don't worry about Betta stealing all your boys. I think you're much prettier than her!"
- Instead say something like, "I know you think Betta has all the guys, but I wouldn't worry too much. You have everything a Nice Guy is looking for… you just have to give yourself a chance to let your qualities shine through!".
Step 7. Make her feel important
Nobody wants to feel alone like another drop in the ocean and on a planet of a couple of billion people. Offering her a compliment that makes her feel unique or important will really warm her heart. This can actually be one of the most effective compliments. Of course, who he is will really have an effect on what you say, so you really need to commit to that.
For example, if she has done a lot of volunteer work, try saying something like, "Did they ever tell you that everything you give comes back? You probably don't care enough for it, but every positive difference you make radiates. outward and create other beautiful things in the world. I think what you are doing is really amazing!"
Step 8. Be careful when talking about weight
You may feel inclined to compliment a woman you know has lost weight, but this can be dangerous. Many women are sensitive about weight issues (as are men!) And some may have lost weight for unpleasant reasons. For all you know, he may have cancer. You should only compliment her on her weight loss if you know it was an actual effort on her part. Now, to pick the right words:
- DO NOT compliment her by comparing her to how she usually looked (for example, "You look so much better now!").
- Try to compliment the more general effect that weight loss has had. You might say to her "You look so healthy and energetic today…!" or something like "You look a lot happier and more confident lately!"
- The best way is to compliment her actual effort to become healthier. This is what he did and it is truly admirable. Try something like this: "You are my inspiration to make positive changes in my life as well. I hope I am determined to commit as you do!".
Step 9. Don't feel compelled to compliment her for getting something
Yes, you are probably hoping that your compliment will bring you some positive results. A date, sex… even just a deeper relationship. But it's good that you realize that sometimes a compliment isn't the best way to get what you want. In fact, a survey showed that not even half of women will be happy with the compliment. Many women actually make negative associations with certain types of compliments received in particular contexts, because they deal with a lot of street harassment. Sometimes, any compliment can be the wrong thing to say to a girl. An honest conversation can give you more opportunities. Just talk to her like you would anyone else and let her be drawn to your great personality rather than your words.
Part 3 of 3: Express Compliment
Step 1. Be thrifty with compliments
If you do it all the time, eventually that "special" feeling can start to wear off. Optimal frequency is very often difficult to gauge, but generally you should reserve compliments for special occasions and sometimes when you feel it really matters. You know that feeling you get when you feel your heart might just burst about how wonderful she is? Now is a good time to compliment her. And when does she blame herself for something? It might be a good time to point out that his character traits are so determined that he will come out of them.
The core is to make her feel good; it's not really about earning points. This means that you have to reserve compliments for those moments when it will be really important to make her feel good about herself
Step 2. Be completely genuine
Women almost always notice when you are not genuine with your compliment. This is why you probably won't be successful if you compliment a girl you've never met before - if you don't really know her, how could you know anything about her that deserves to be complimented? Any compliment must be genuinely felt, and even if it's a little gooey, she'll be truly flattered.
That's why we feel really good when children compliment us. It might not always be perfectly worded and it might be for something weird, but kids haven't learned to flatter people to get what they want. When they compliment us, it is extremely moving, even if the way they are expressed is inadequate
Step 3. Be respectful
Now someone might advise you to say that you are more likely to succeed with a girl by giving her a 'compliment' much like an insult, which leads her to think that her only chance is with a guy like you (who "doesn't care" about its "imperfections"). This might only work with girls who have very low self-esteem. I'm not the kind of woman you want to date. That's why, instead, when you compliment her, you need to be respectful.
As a rule, don't tell her anything you wouldn't tell your mother or sister. Would your mom give you a slap in the face hearing you say? Then you probably shouldn't tell other women either
Step 4. Compliment her at the right time and place
Right after she gives an important presentation it's a bad time to compliment your colleague on her dress - it seems like all the effort she just demonstrated hasn't caught your attention and you only notice her for her looks (also if that's not true). This is a good example of the principle to follow when choosing when to compliment a woman. A compliment on any subject must be presented when you do not seem to want something from her (to a stranger on the train, to your wife when you get into bed, to your colleague before asking her to take charge of a project). We also recommend that you pay attention to the context. A subject that is inappropriate for the situation can kill a compliment, as in our example.
Step 5. Prove instead of talking
Show your affection or admiration with your actions instead of trying to come up with a compliment. The actions show sincerity and could be a lifeline. If you are worried about blowing everything up with your compliment or that your words may offend her in some way, show your feelings through your actions instead.
For example, when you see her buying a sandwich for a homeless man, have her sit down and cook dinner for her later that night (or take her out to a fancy restaurant). But you don't have to do this every time he does something wonderful - just like with verbal compliments, save these actions for when you think they really matter
Advice
- If giving fewer compliments means doing something nice in itself, like preparing meals, then a compliment is more than enough, because the gestures you make make her already understand what you think.
- Create a good relationship before you start bombarding her with compliments.
Warnings
- Find the right time to compliment a woman. For example a moment when she feels insecure.
- Again, don't overdo it with compliments.
