Charisma is extremely useful if you want to be a nice, irresistible and genuine person. Those who do not have it by nature can learn the skills necessary to develop it. Many believe that you need to be outgoing to have charisma, but that's not true. All it takes is a set of skills to hone until they become a habit. Charisma improves interpersonal relationships, leadership and self-confidence.
Steps
Part 1 of 4: Fuel Your Self-Esteem
Step 1. Exercise
Sport keeps you fit, improves your appearance and increases your personal well-being. It also allows the body to release endorphins, or "happiness" hormones, which make you feel more joyful and energetic.
The short- and long-term benefits of physical activity are most effective if you train 3 or 4 times a week
Step 2. Try to be more optimistic
Think about the best things in your life, like your family, friends, work, and so on. For example, congratulate yourself on a great job at the office and hanging out with good friends. Try replacing all negative thoughts with positive ones. For example, if you feel that a certain task is too difficult, look at it from another perspective and think about tackling it with a different spirit.
Get used to thinking positively every day, so that such an approach is more effective
Step 3. Stop comparing with others
It's just a waste of time. You cannot compare yourself to anyone, because your life experiences and the skills you have developed are different from those of others. Your self-esteem can take a hit if you always feel inferior to others, so realize that you are a unique and unparalleled person.
Step 4. Dress well
Choose a presentable and appropriate outfit each morning so that you feel physically and emotionally confident. By dressing well, you will improve your appearance and, as a result, will fuel your self-confidence. Match your clothes according to what you need to do during the day. For example, it is not recommended to wear a professional or elegant suit if you are going to lunch with friends or even showing up in jeans and a shirt to a business meeting.
Think about the colors you wear. For example, blue usually inspires tranquility and creativity, while green inspires freshness
Part 2 of 4: Avoid Withdrawing from People
Step 1. Activate silent mode on all electronic devices and put them aside
When you are among the people, put aside your phone, tablet, computer and any other electronic device that may distract you. You will not be able to interact with others if you are continually glued to your devices. In these situations, you need to pay full and complete attention to what is around you and the people in front of you. You can contact other people later.
If you have an iPhone, try turning on the "use in airplane" function to not receive calls and messages until it is time to turn it off. This way you won't be tempted to check your phone all the time
Step 2. Get physically comfortable
You won't be fully present and involved in a situation if you can't wait to take off a pair of squeezing jeans or an itchy dress. Wear appropriate and comfortable clothing so that you can focus on your surroundings.
Step 3. Wait at least two seconds before joining a conversation
When chatting with someone, don't think about how to respond while the other is talking. Instead, focus on what he is saying, and when your turn comes, take two seconds to answer.
- For example, if your interlocutor is telling you an anecdote about a hike he took with his dog, don't think about a similar experience you had with your dog while he is still talking. Listen carefully to what he says, then share your story.
- Empathize with your interlocutor and share their emotions. For example, you might say that her story struck you because it reminds you of a similar experience.
Step 4. Practice being more conscious in the present at home
You have to start being more present with yourself if you want to be present with people as well. Try meditating by choosing a quiet place, getting comfortable and breathing deeply. Focus on the body's reactions as you inhale and exhale. Repeat a word or phrase or listen to a repetitive song that will calm you down and clear your mind.
Spend at least five minutes a day doing nothing and being at peace with yourself
Part 3 of 4: Knowing Verbal Communication Well
Step 1. Ask open-ended questions
When you talk to someone, your questions should require articulate rather than monosyllabic answers. Ask questions about the conversation. For example, ask him about a movie, when did he find time to travel or what happened in a certain situation.
- Open-ended questions encourage people to express themselves in more detail, pushing the boundaries of the conversation.
- Ask a few more personal questions. Everyone likes to talk about themselves. The simplest way to increase your charisma is to give others a chance to brag about their achievements. When you meet someone for the first time, ask them what their goals are, what places they have traveled to, what their career choices have been, or if they have a partner. If you know someone well enough that you don't have to ask them icebreaker questions, ask them what their last trip was or how their partner is doing.
Step 2. Be humble, but confident
You're sure to meet people who want to congratulate you on your recent success. Humbly accept their compliments by thanking them, but also by mentioning other people who have contributed. For example, you could thank your interlocutor for highlighting your hard work and add that this project could not have been achieved without the help of your colleagues. Such an answer shows that you are proud of what you have done, without being presumptuous.
- You should find the middle ground between an overly humble attitude and a lack of humility. If out of modesty you shoot yourself in the foot by making unflattering utterances towards yourself, others may think you haven't done anything. However, if you are overconfident, they may consider you cocky and arrogant, as would happen if you said you worked on a project day and night and achieved phenomenal results.
- By responding with the right humility and acknowledging the efforts of others, you will demonstrate that you are a generous and valuable person.
Step 3. Rephrase what your interlocutor said in your own words to show that you are listening
People appreciate when they are heard. During a conversation, reiterate what you understand from a speech in your own words. For example, if someone has told you about their family problems, respond by acknowledging how misunderstood they may feel by their relatives.
They will likely respond by admitting that you are right or by expressing other feelings. By explaining what you have heard in your own words, you will show that you are listening and keep the conversation going
Step 4. Try to involve everyone present
Some people are more confident than others. Take this into account and don't exclude anyone from your conversations. If you see a person not attending, try asking them a question and ask everyone for their opinion so that everyone has a chance to speak.
- Watch for non-verbal cues, such as staring down or folded arms, to gauge how much attention you need to give to make a person comfortable.
- Refrain from more controversial or sensitive topics, such as political opinions or love life, as they can embarrass some people.
Step 5. Tell personal anecdotes
By sharing a story about the difficulties you faced in childhood or how you overcame an obstacle at work, you will help people connect with you. Your interlocutors will get a better idea of who you are and your way of thinking, then they will see you as someone to follow suit.
Part 4 of 4: Knowing Non-Verbal Communication Well
Step 1. Look people in the eye
Always look for direct and meaningful eye contact with the people in front of you. This way, you will show that you are paying attention to what they say. It is important to maintain eye contact even when you are talking. If it is strong and direct, it expresses self-confidence.
Also, when it is intense, it helps you remember the speech of your interlocutors
Step 2. Lean slightly when you speak
If you lean towards the person you are conversing with, you will subtly demonstrate your participation. Try to react physically as well during a conversation. For example, if you feel something surprising, lean back to express your amazement!
Step 3. Nod to show that you are listening
When someone is talking, nod your head so that the other person understands that you are listening to them. A nod of the head will let her know that you are participating in the discussion and that you want to know more. However, avoid nodding continuously if there is no reason; be sure to use this gesture at the appropriate time.
Step 4. Try to impress your posture by opening your legs, spreading your shoulders and placing your hands on your hips
This way, you will appear more confident and also more open towards others. Standing with your hands on your hips, instead of crossing your arms across your chest, you will look more affable.
- By being in this position, you will convey greater self-confidence and it will be noticeable as you speak.
- A confident and affable character attracts people and makes them more charismatic.
Step 5. Use your body language more vividly
Try to accentuate your gestures. If exuberant, body language allows you to attract people because it reveals that you are a passionate type. Also, people will remember you more willingly, because they will associate what you say with the gestures you make.
Advice
- Stay away from the troublemakers. Surround yourself with cheerful people and you will automatically be influenced by their mood.
- To have charisma, you need time and practice. So, don't be disheartened if you can't seem very charismatic right away.
