Have you ever experienced those awkward silences during which you just don't know what to say? Have you ever wanted to say something about a girl without knowing exactly what? Here's how to compliment a girl without offending her or looking too cheeky.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Finding Topics to Compliment
Step 1. First of all, try to understand how the girl views herself
Girls are conditioned to shy away from compliments, which is why she'll be much more willing to accept a compliment she agrees with. Paying attention to how she behaves, note what she is proud of and compliment her on what emerges from your observation.
For example, if she is clearly very eager to share something she has done with other people, you could compliment her
Step 2. Consider what he is fighting for or what he is working on
Like you or anyone else, she probably loves confirmation of how hard she works. If you know she's been particularly committed to something or there are things she feels inadequate about or is aware of, try complimenting her. This can be tricky, though, so pay attention to how you do it.
- For example, if she complains that you hate her nose, tell her you think it's cute.
- Compliment her on her work ethic, determination or smarts at school if you see her putting in a lot of effort.
- Whatever the subject of your compliments, remember that you must be honest. Don't say what you don't feel just to find something to compliment her on.
Step 3. Think about what is valuable to you or to other people
Review the conversations you've had with her and find ways to compliment those things she thinks she doesn't have but does. Maybe she told you she likes your fighting spirit and your determination, but she is too. Maybe he confided to you that he would like a body as beautiful as that of another girl, but you think she is even better.
It is important to consider whether or not she actually possesses the quality you would like to compliment her for. By telling her she's good at something she isn't, she won't take you seriously, because she'll know you don't really mean it
Step 4. Compliment her personality
The best thing to compliment a girl on is her personality. It is something she can control, something inherently hers, unlike her clothing which usually has very little to do with her. Think about what you like about her as a person and make her the subject of your compliments.
Step 5. Compliment him on his accomplishments and achievements
She is in control over this too and says a lot about her as a person. Think about the goals and aspects for which he has worked hard or that are worthy of admiration, such as altruism or correct behavior in a difficult situation and compliment them.
It is important that it is also an intrinsic and unalterable feature of it over time. It means that she will not be afraid of losing this quality and that she can be happy when she thinks about this compliment for the rest of her life
Step 6. Compliment from the bottom of your heart
You don't have to overdo it with compliments. You just have to compliment her, naturally, saying exactly how you feel. Speak from your heart and the perfect compliment should come out. The trick is that, first of all, you have to respect it and consider it important: this way you will avoid saying something offensive.
Part 2 of 3: To Do
Step 1. Be honest
Whatever compliments you say, you absolutely have to be honest. Girls are perfectly able to tell if you are not. They may not let you know, but they will know and it will make them feel awful and awkward.
Step 2. Be respectful
This is the main key to being able to compliment girls without offending or upsetting them. If you respect them as people, as precious human beings with noteworthy opinions, feelings, hopes and dreams and who are capable of doing everything you do, any compliment that comes out of your mouth will probably do.
Step 3. Think about how that compliment makes you feel
It is not enough to look at the surface of the compliment… think about what is troubling her and past experiences. Think what the compliment might mean if taken out of context. Think about how you would feel if someone you don't know did this to you. If it makes you feel uncomfortable, it's probably not good for her either.
Step 4. Compliment at appropriate times, such as when you go out together or are talking about something that relates to the object of your compliment
You have to learn to match compliment and situation. This is very important, because doing it in the wrong situation could be very disheartening.
For example, don't compliment her on her physical appearance after giving a presentation (unless you tell her she looked proud and was commanding the entire room). Instead, compliment her on her hard work, her excellent exposure skills, or her brilliant demonstrated intelligence. Complimenting her physical appearance in this situation might be demeaning, but complimenting her work has a strengthening effect
Step 5. Prove the compliment in your actions, not always and only in words:
it can be a very effective way.
- For example, if she just applied hard on something, compliment her by giving her a relaxing back rub.
- Or, if she does something really nice for someone, reciprocate her, perhaps by making her dinner.
- These actions can also be ways to introduce a verbal compliment, explaining the reason for your behavior.
Step 6. Respectfully accept the rejection
If she doesn't respond to your compliment the way you want it to, don't be stupid and don't answer her badly, because you risk proving that you compliment yourself rather than her. Instead, calmly tell her that she may not even believe you, but that you were sincere and that you hope she will take him for what he is. After that, leave her alone.
This is more common when you compliment a girl you don't know. If you know her, however, you can simply point out that you are really serious or you can tell her not to be so modest
Part 3 of 3: DON'Ts
Step 1. Avoid complimenting certain physical characteristics
In most cases they will go away over time and she will end up feeling useless because she no longer possesses them. So she avoids complimenting her butt, legs, etc. With your eyes and hands, on the other hand, you will be more on the safe side.
Compliments on physical characteristics work even better if you relate them to his personality or actions. For example, you can tell her that her eyes are beautiful and that you like how, through them, her determination shines through when she works hard
Step 2. Don't give sexual compliments to girls you don't know well
This is the biggest ban when it comes to complimenting a woman. It might seem like a nice thing to say, but if you don't know the girl, you risk sounding creepy, missing out on every opportunity with her.
- For example, tell her it fills that shirt well.
- Sexual compliments generally only work with girls you date or have a very close relationship with.
Step 3. Don't compliment her for trying to get something you want, because she'll notice
You should pay her a compliment because you really feel it and want to let her know how special she is to you. You should compliment her because you want her to be happy. You definitely don't have to compliment her because you want superficial physical contact.
Step 4. Avoid compliments - insult
There are some compliments that might be perceived as flattering, but which are actually insults. Before making an own goal, weigh what you are about to say and how it could be interpreted out of context.
- If there is something in your compliment that relates to the weight she has lost, avoid it. This could easily be taken the wrong way. Instead, congratulate her on her healthy appearance, tell her she's really glowing, etc.
- Do not compare it to your sister or mother in any way, unless a circumstance arises where this is good. This way you would not be able to have any romantic relationship with her.
- Any comment that ends with "today" (for example, "You look so beautiful today!"). This implies that it is not on other days. Ouch.
Step 5. Don't compliment the stencil:
they don't work because they are generic and are good for any girl. She will notice that this is a trivia that could be told to anyone and she will understand that you want to get something out of her. Give her some real compliments and you will be considered a golden boy.
Advice
- If by any chance you offend or accidentally insult her, you absolutely need to apologize.
- Some girls refuse to accept compliments, minimizing them. For example, if you compliment her hair and she says "No, it's ugly," don't take it as an insult, tell her it's okay. In any case, think carefully before flirting with her, because she will probably always take compliments this way.
- Don't be offended if he doesn't return the compliment.
- Try to bond with the girls before giving a compliment. Build a natural relationship.
- Some girls react based on the emotions of the moment. They may interpret your gesture differently, believing it is not spontaneous because you want to try an approach. If so, don't blame yourself.
- Don't comment on her flaws, like "You're a gullible woman." It's something girls hate.
- Compliment her on her dress and good taste.
- Never make any comments about his physique or various parts of his body. This could be a big mistake, because you would be considered a superficial person.
Warnings
- Don't interrupt a girl to compliment her, especially in the middle of a conversation. It is pleasant to receive a compliment, but this does not mean that it is a sign of rudeness to interrupt others.
- Don't suddenly grasp the object of the compliment. If it's a small, handy thing, like a ring or bag, ask politely if you can look at it. If, on the other hand, your attention has been drawn to a new necklace or clothes, observe them without touching.
- It would be best to give a compliment as soon as you see something interesting about a friend or new acquaintance, however you can also comment later. You don't have to apologize for not complimenting earlier. If asked, just say you just noticed. You can also claim that it had already caught your attention, but you preferred to talk about it later because the conversation didn't lend itself to comment. Either way, it's not a big deal.
- Make sure you don't overdo it. One compliment per minute could make the situation awkward. If you compliment yourself excessively, you will give the impression that you are being sarcastic.
- Avoid statements about "today", such as "your hair looks great today." Many girls have low self-esteem, so they might interpret the phrase differently, like "Wow, your hair doesn't look as bad as it usually does."
