Everyone likes to get a nice compliment, but getting one is easier said than done. You have to do it in the right tone, or the person your sweet words are addressed to may misunderstand you. The key to success? Say something that you honestly believe is true in an unmistakably sincere tone of voice. Your genuine warmth will go unnoticed and you can change someone's day for the better.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Be honest
Step 1. Think about something you really like about the other person
You can simply choose from the things you noticed at first glance and then praise them. You might say "I love your shirt!" or "What a beautiful hair you have!" to anyone, but a true compliment goes deeper. Take a moment to think about what you really admire in a person before speaking. Your compliment will only be appreciated if you make it clear that you are speaking truthfully.
On the other hand, never give a false compliment. For example, if your friend is sporting a new pair of boots that you think are tacky, don't praise them as a compliment. Maybe he'll believe you, maybe he won't. But if you start giving insincere compliments right away, no one will trust your compliments anymore and your words will end up being less and less meaningful to people
Step 2. Compliment a person's pride
You will know that you have given a unique and special compliment when it becomes clear that you have fully taken something that the person particularly cares about. For example, if your mother-in-law spends a lot of time tending her beautiful flower garden, you can compliment her on her incredible taste for flower arrangements. Complimenting someone for something they're very good at always gives everyone a smile.
Step 3. Say something that is not obvious
Another good tactic is to choose from things that are not noticeable at first glance, showing that you are really paying attention to the person. Non-trivial compliments are the ones that people remember with the most pleasure for the rest of their lives.
- For example, you could tell your little sister that you noticed that she worked hard on her art class this semester, and that you think she has a talent for photography.
- Or you could tell a guy you're in love with that you admire the kindness he talks to people, even the youngest kids. If he was used to receiving compliments on his muzzles, your compliment will stand out very much from the others.
Step 4. Don't give everyone the same compliments
If you say "I like the way you dress!" to everyone, you will get the result that the people you compliment won't feel special at all. Complimenting people's actual merits will take you much further. Think carefully before you speak: if you don't have anything special to say, you better not speak at all.
Step 5. Focus on that person's achievements rather than physical appearance
It's always nice to get compliments like "You're so pretty!" or "I like your shoes", but the best compliments are those that highlight that person's excellent results in some area, or their character qualities. Complimenting something people have worked hard for has a lot more meaning to them than anything that doesn't matter, like the color of their eyes.
If you are considering a nice compliment to a girl you are fond of, know that she will probably respond much better to "I find your essay bright and well written" rather than "Your lips are sexy" or "you have a face. very nice"
Step 6. Compliment generously, but be careful not to overdo it
There is a limit to how many compliments you can give to the same person. Spilling buckets of compliments on someone will make each compliment more and more insignificant. If you compliment at different times, your words will have more resonance.
- Compliment several people, don't focus on just one. If you always compliment the same person, they'll start to think you're a little obsessive.
- Only compliment when someone hits you enough to make it necessary. Don't compliment yourself just to say something or to sound nice. It's not about appearing, it's about making someone else feel special.
Part 2 of 3: Express yourself sincerely
Step 1. Express your compliments warmly
How you express yourself is everything when it comes to compliments. The important thing is to sound honest so your compliment isn't misunderstood. Since there is a certain level of malice behind a false compliment, you want to make sure that the person you compliment knows that you are serious.
- Make sure the person can hear you clearly, so it doesn't sound like you are talking quietly.
- Interpret the situation and don't give compliments if you think they might be perceived as insincere. For example, if your new classmate is wearing a skirt with a weird color pattern and everyone is looking at her, don't draw attention to her in front of people who might not like the skirt as much as you do.
Step 2. Smile, but don't laugh
It is always a good idea to give a compliment by smiling while maintaining a sincere expression. If you laugh while complimenting someone, they may question your sincerity. You might sound like someone making a joke, which could spoil the mood. Try not to laugh while complimenting someone unless the quality you emphasize in the compliment has nothing to do with humor.
Step 3. This is an easy way to show that you really think what you are saying
Maintaining eye contact is a non-verbal form of communication that helps people understand each other better. If you look down or elsewhere, it will seem like you have something to hide.
Step 4. Monitor your tone of voice
Do your best to translate what you feel into words. Don't speak in an ambiguous tone of voice. The best compliments leave no room for misunderstanding. If it becomes clear to the recipient of the compliment that your words are sincere, it will leave the conversation happy. It seems obvious, but compliments are likely to carry hidden meanings. For instance,
- If you sound a little sarcastic, the receiver will think you are making fun of him.
- It is also easy to appear jealous. Make sure you don't appear to be angry or envious.
Part 3 of 3: What to Avoid
Step 1. Avoid ambiguous compliments
It's the worst kind of compliment. An ambiguous compliment will seem beautiful at first, only to strike back by expressing what you really think. It's a passive-aggressive way of seriously hurting someone's feelings. Sometimes it can happen to make ambiguous compliments without realizing it.
- For example, you might say something like "Wow, I really like your hair today. What's different about it?". If you say that, it will seem like that person's hair doesn't really like you very much on other days.
- Or you might say, "You're good at baseball for a girl." Adding a qualification at the end of a compliment turns it into an insult.
Step 2. The goal of a compliment is to make another person feel good, and bringing out their physical "qualities" in public could have the exact opposite effect
While some people say they enjoy advances, not everyone does - far from it. If you really want to please someone, even a stranger, don't scream it in the street. The same rules apply to both strangers and acquaintances: you need to find something sincere to say to respectfully communicate what you feel
Step 3. Avoid degrading comments
I hope you know what I'm talking about and that you would never say anything like that to anyone. Even if you have a crush on someone and want to ask her / him out - indeed, especially in this situation - don't try to compliment an erotic part of their body. It is very rude and could be taken as sexual harassment. Always be polite with your compliments!
