Introversion should not be confused with shyness. Shyness is a personality trait that can range from mild to severe, and often causes sufferers to avoid social interactions. Introversion is different in that the brain of an introverted person responds differently to social interactions than an extroverted individual. Introverts may feel over-stimulated and drained from interpersonal interactions, or receive no stimulus from socialization. If you are an introvert, you probably feel at times that you have a personality that is incompatible with the possibility of cultivating a fulfilling social life. However, it is still possible. With a little preparation, acquiring the right skills to cope with social events and maintaining your friendships, it is possible to enjoy a great social life without being forced to turn into outgoing people.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Preparing for Various Social Situations
Step 1. Define the reasons why you want to socialize
Are you looking to get hired in a certain company? Do you want to have more appointments? Keeping your goal in mind helps keep motivation high, so you'll feel more motivated to socialize regularly.
Having a goal will also help you figure out where to focus your efforts. For example, if you are networking for professional reasons, you may decide to attend multiple conferences
Step 2. Develop some sentences to break the ice
Before you go out, think about some topics you can confidently discuss with others. Preparing conversation ideas gives you more confidence, especially if you are shy.
- Talking about the climate is always a safe topic, because it affects everyone on a daily basis. Other great conversation starters include work, family, and food.
- The arguments must be light, of general interest and neutral. Avoid personal or sensitive issues, such as religion and health.
- For example, ask questions like, "Where did you meet the landlord?" or "I haven't seen your family in a long time. How is everyone?"
Step 3. Practice getting into the habit of exposing yourself
Interpersonal skills are strengthened with practice. Unfortunately, the opposite is also true: if you stay indoors all day, they will suffer. To always be ready and bright, get involved and interact regularly with people in daily life.
- You can practice chatting with classmates, co-workers, or people who are in line with you. Make it a goal to have a conversation with a stranger every day, whether it's the supermarket cashier or the postman.
- Try to find a job that allows you to cultivate your interpersonal skills. Serving at the tables, working as a bartender or salesman are just some ideas to have more opportunities for interaction.
Step 4. Take advantage of social networks
Before you meet someone in real life, using social networks helps you break the ice in a relaxed way. Try following certain people on Twitter or adding them on LinkedIn, that way you won't be complete strangers when you see each other in person.
This strategy is particularly effective for meeting people at work
Step 5. Avoid comparing yourself to extroverts
If you think extroversion is some kind of "right" behavioral standard, you risk feeling inferior for no plausible reason. Introversion is neither better nor worse than extroversion, just different. Instead of vilifying yourself for being introverted, focus on your unique strengths and try to figure out how to improve your weaknesses.
Part 2 of 3: Dealing with Social Events
Step 1. Choose your events carefully
You don't have to go to any party or evening you are invited to. Be selective when it comes to accepting or not attending an event. If you create a good balance between social events and moments of solitude, socializing will be more pleasant and you will not get stressed.
You can politely decline an invitation by saying, "Thank you for asking, but I have another commitment that night."
Step 2. Bring a friend
If you are nervous or need moral support, ask a friend to accompany you to an event. It can help you break the ice with strangers and avoid that bad feeling of not knowing anyone in the room.
Step 3. Relax your body
It is difficult to feel anxious when the muscles are relaxed. If social situations get you upset, learn techniques to release tension. If you are relaxed, you will feel more comfortable, so subconsciously others will feel the same way.
- Deep breathing exercises are a simple and effective way to calm down in times of tension.
- Another method of relieving tension in a social situation is to mentally repeat a mantra, such as: "I am the image of calm" or "I can calmly cope with social situations".
- Also, avoid having body language that conveys closure, otherwise you will alienate others. For example, do not cross your arms or move your body away from your interlocutor. This conveys distancing and suggests that you can't wait to leave. Instead, drop your arms to your sides, occasionally look your interlocutor in the eye, and turn to face him.
Step 4. Invite others to tell you about themselves
When you meet someone, ease your anxiety by putting them in the center of attention. Ask him questions about his job, family, or hobbies. Most people love to talk about themselves and feel flattered when someone wants to get to know them better.
- Ask open-ended questions that require an elaborate answer, not a simple "Yes" or "No".
- For example, you might ask an acquaintance, "What was your favorite part of the trip to New Zealand?" or "Why did you decide to move here?".
Step 5. Know when to leave
Nothing and nobody forces you to stay until the end of an event. Know your limits and don't wear yourself out. If you feel that the energies are about to leave you, you can very well walk away by apologizing gracefully.
If leaving early makes you uncomfortable, make up an excuse in advance. For example, you might say you need to feed your dog or wake up early the next day
Part 3 of 3: Cultivating Friendship
Step 1. Don't try to make deep friendships with anyone
By being an introvert, you're probably better at cultivating a few close, but good relationships. Trying to be friends with everyone will only exhaust you. Choose your friendships carefully and don't waste time with people who don't make you rich.
Having few but good friends and a large circle of acquaintances is a better strategy than trying to make friends with anyone you meet
Step 2. Contact your friends regularly
Sometimes it is enough to be heard frequently to cultivate a friendship. Make it a priority to hear from your friends on a regular basis, even if that means just sending a funny message or video on Facebook. It is much easier to maintain a friendship than to reconnect after neglecting it for some time.
Step 3. Take on the role of host
Organizing a meeting or party allows you to decide where and when the event will take place. As if that weren't enough, you will shake off the social pressure, at least in part: instead of sitting and talking, you can keep yourself busy by making sure everyone is comfortable and enjoying themselves. Also, your friends will appreciate your hospitality.
Step 4. Make time for meaningful conversations
One of the most important characteristics of a close friendship is the ability to mutually share one's thoughts and experiences. Having quality conversations with your friends can build a relationship, even if you don't see each other frequently.
