Meeting a girl's gaze is the first step in bonding with her. Unfortunately, this is a very difficult, scary and unnerving move. With a little patience and practice, however, you can overcome anxiety and be well on your way to making eye contact.
Steps
Method 1 of 2: Look a Girl in the Eyes
Step 1. Find a girl you want to meet
You can do it anywhere … in a bookshop, in a bar, in a restaurant, in a shopping center …
If you find someone in a place you visit often, you probably have something in common. Something to talk about, maybe
Step 2. Relax
A tight, tense look conveys a negative or angry attitude, so do your best to stay calm. Calm behavior will put people at ease when they talk to you.
Step 3. Look naturally in his direction
From time to time, look at it. Does it seem to be trying to catch your eye?
Step 4. Don't stare
Staring is not only rude, it also makes people very uncomfortable. If she doesn't return your gaze, she may not be interested or engaged. Worse, she might be offended that you're staring at her.
If someone isn't willing to look you in the eye, or avoids your gaze, they're probably not interested in talking to you or getting to know you
Step 5. Meet her gaze with a smile
If you look into each other's eyes, be sure to relax and smile. Remember again that a smile will make people feel comfortable.
Step 6. Avoid squaring it
Looking intently at a person - even after making eye contact - can be rude and intimidating, even demeaning.
Step 7. Try reading his facial expression
While this is very subjective (and studying body language isn't an exact science), do your best to interpret the girl's expressions. Did he return your smile? Did he nod politely? A smile can be an indicator of interest, while nodding gives the opposite signal. Blinking is also an indicator of interest.
- Did he raise his eyebrows? It can be a way of saying "hello" or communicating additional interest.
- Was his eyes wide open? This expression usually indicates happiness or joy, and even ease.
- Did he lower his chin, looking up at you? This too can be a sign of interest in getting to know you.
Step 8. Let her break eye contact first
Don't look away until she does it. This will communicate interest in talking to her.
The longer she maintains eye contact, the more likely she is to be interested in getting to know you
Step 9. Keep watching
When he has broken eye contact with you, keep looking in his general direction for another second or two. If she tries to meet your gaze again, look her in the eye a second time and smile.
If she looks back at you, she might be interested in meeting or talking to you
Method 2 of 2: Overcoming the Fear of Eye Contact
Step 1. Relax
While it may be scary to catch the eye of someone you don't know, you will need to do your best to stay calm. Nobody likes to be fixed with a nervous, intense or anxious look.
- The person you want to make eye contact may also be nervous. If you stay calm, you may be able to make her feel more comfortable.
- Intense or anxious looks can suggest hostility or anger - the opposite of what you are trying to convey.
Step 2. Practice smiling in the mirror
It may seem silly to you, but if you're not in the habit of looking people in the eye, you may not even know how to smile. You may not have the intention of staring at someone, but your facial expression may suggest otherwise. This can make people feel very uncomfortable.
- Being stared at makes people uncomfortable and makes them avoid your gaze. Make sure you avoid facial expressions that suggest criticism or judgment.
- Practice smiling in the mirror to also avoid the shyness and fear you may feel when looking someone in the eye.
Step 3. Look at people's portraits
Get used to direct eye contact by practicing on some portraits. You will feel uncomfortable at first, but this is the point of the exercise: you will have to keep working to overcome the embarrassment you may feel when you look someone in the eye.
You can also do this by leafing through a magazine or surfing the internet
Step 4. Practice making eye contact with people on television
When watching your favorite TV show, practice looking people directly in the eye, as if they were present and speaking directly to you. Follow their eyes as they move across the screen.
Step 5. Go see a public speaking person
It is much easier to maintain eye contact with a person when you are listening than when you are speaking. Also, being part of a group can help relieve anxiety. Practice maintaining eye contact with someone giving a talk or lecture.
Even when the speaker isn't looking directly at you, keep looking him in the eye
Step 6. Have short conversations with people you don't know
Looking someone in the eye for long periods can be difficult or unpleasant, so have short conversations with a salesperson, neighbor, or colleague. Your goal will not be to have deep or meaningful conversations, but to practice looking a real person in the eye for short periods of time.
When you feel more comfortable, try increasing the length of the conversations
Step 7. Make eye contact with your friends
Practice making eye contact with friends and people you feel comfortable with. Always make an effort to do this when talking to friends and family.
In some cases, it will be easier to look at a different spot on a person's face. If you pick a spot close enough to the eyes, the person won't be able to tell the difference
Step 8. Take a test or exam
If looking people in the eye remains difficult for you, you may want to consider taking a preliminary test to see if you have a social anxiety disorder.
- Social anxiety disorders can be identified as extreme and constant fear of being judged, criticized or analyzed.
- These disorders can lead to fear of looking people in the eye.
Advice
- Did she blush when you noticed she was looking at you? Well, then she is almost 100% sure that she likes you. Don't overdo the reaction, though; maybe she blushed just because she didn't feel comfortable looking at her.
- As you look at it, try to smile; but don't overdo it, or you will scare her.
- If she is away from you, and if she looks at you, it is best not to look away.
- Whatever you do, NEVER overdo it. Unwelcome attention can be embarrassing, and make people think you are weird.
- Don't stare. Most people find this unattractive.
- Winking can be embarrassing, only do it if you know the person or if you want to joke.
Warnings
- Don't ask a girl out just for a glance exchange.
- Remember, every girl is different, so don't think this is always a reliable guide.
- Remember, a girl doesn't always think about love.
- Don't think she likes you just because she looked at you, and above all don't tell everyone about it (“She looked at me, and now I know she likes me!”). It could be embarrassing.
