Even if you have no problem walking through a crowded room and introducing yourself to a girl to get her attention, keeping a conversation going may not always be easy. It doesn't matter if you're shy or outgoing, you can make conversation with the fairer sex more fluid by following these tips.
Steps
Part 1 of 1: Keeping the Conversation Alive
Step 1. Begin by inviting her to chat
Observe the situation and adapt the speech to the circumstances. For example, don't ask her about astronomy if she's shopping for a pair of shoes. Here are some tips to make no mistake:
- If you don't know her, try starting with a recommendation. For example, if you see a beautiful girl in a bar who seems undecided about what to order, recommend your favorite drink or tell her you're about to guess exactly what she'll get.
- If you already know her, start from a common experience. If you go to the same school, comment on the lessons or talk about extracurricular activities. If you work together, strike up a news item about the company or the office, or ask her for help on a project you have just started.
- Ask her a little favor. For example, you can ask her to keep an eye on something that belongs to you (like your cell phone) while you go to get a drink. If you put her in a position to please you, you will pique her interest in you. You will make her feel worthy of your trust and may even intrigue her.
- Give her a compliment. If he looks great or comes up with an interesting comment during a class, don't hesitate to tell him. Appreciate her hair, her smile or the way she dresses. However, forget the purely feminine details. Make sure the compliment is genuine, not self-righteous.
Step 2. Ask her a few questions
You need to show your interest and at the same time decide if it's really worth it. With an interesting question, you will be able to make her think, laugh and intrigue, all in one fell swoop.
- Avoid questions that could be answered with a simple yes or no. For example, if you ask her "Do you like the movie released this week?", You will get a laconic answer without starting a real conversation. Instead, try asking her what other movies she's seen and why she likes them. In this way, you will surely get longer and more articulate answers.
- Generally, girls like it when the man makes the first move. Instead of waiting for her to ask questions, take the initiative. Then, as soon as she replies, nod and explain your point of view. In this way, a balanced conversation will be established that will allow you to get to know her better and also share something about you.
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Find out what is passionate about. If you like a girl, surely there is something about her that fascinates you. Ask her what interests her or why she thinks a certain way. Learn about some aspects that intrigue you, about which you would like to know more, instead of asking her questions just to chat. If you are not sincere, he will notice and the dialogue will come to a standstill.
People love to talk about themselves. If you can find out what she is passionate about, the conversation will go smoothly. This is the easiest way to make contact
Step 3. Try to make a good impression during the conversation
If on the one hand you have to try to deepen his knowledge, on the other you should also show yourself at your best.
- Find a topic you are passionate about and convincing. Generally, we tend to give our best when we talk about something that enriches our life. If you love music, talk about your favorite bands. If you have a passion, tell him about it.
- Avoid monopolizing the conversation. Tell something about yourself without exaggerating. If you are the only one talking, he will think that you are a self-centered person and will probably no longer want to chat with you.
- Don't make judgments about what you don't know. Your goal is to impress her with wit, brilliant dialectics and intelligence. If you express yourself presumptuously on a subject that you are unaware of, you will not look good.
Step 4. Don't be afraid of breaks
Don't worry if you can't think of something to say every moment - moments of silence complement the conversation. Put your interlocutor at ease, pausing from time to time to reflect.
- Smile, take a sip of your drink and look around until you have something to say. If you are interested and confident, he will closely follow the development of the discussion. If, on the other hand, you seem agitated and fixed on the ground, he will feel distressed and will probably take his leave.
- Pause for a few moments during the conversation, giving the impression that you are reflecting on your words. That way, she'll be even more anxious to find out what you're going to say and keep talking to fill the silence.
- The interlocutors tend to synchronize in a natural way. This means that everyone tries to unconsciously reproduce the rhythm with which the other expresses himself. Therefore, if you speak slowly, she will do the same and the chat will last longer. The secret is to feel safe by avoiding nervousness and agitation.
- Consider the pauses of silence as occasions when it might surprise you. Don't feel compelled to frame one topic after another. The pause is a silent invitation to take the initiative. If she does, you'll have confirmation that she likes to chat with you.
Step 5. Keep the conversation light
Don't touch on controversial topics or topics that might embarrass her. Also, avoid gossip as they may believe that you are not a genuine person.
- Use a sense of humor. Don't make jokes that are in bad taste or that could upset her. Stay vague and feel the ground before saying something that might be frowned upon or offensive.
- Practice telling funny anecdotes. More than just jokes, you have recourse to funny stories dating back to real events. Try to remember all the fun things that happen to you throughout the day and practice telling your friends about them.
- Stay up to date on what's new, including movies, music albums and celebrity news. Thanks to this wealth of information you will never risk making a silent scene. Plus, you might surprise her with all the things you know.
Step 6. Use body language
Maintain eye contact, stand straight with your back and smile affably. This way, she will understand that you are focused on her.
- Watch her body language. If she looks into your eyes, touches your arm, or approaches you as you speak, you can be sure she likes you.
- Make sure you only send positive messages through your attitude. Don't cross your arms, don't stamp your feet on the ground, don't sigh, and don't groan with dissatisfaction. These are clear signs of boredom and impatience.
- If he is always looking away, playing with his glass or some jewelry, or seems to be looking forward to leaving, he has probably lost interest in you. You can try to ask her politely, "Did you have a bad day? You seem so distant." Alternatively, if the conversation didn't turn out to be brilliant from the start, just say, "I enjoyed talking to you" and walk away.
Step 7. Keep your attention on her
He must understand that you like him. You can shift the spotlight on yourself from time to time, but try to focus mostly on her.
- Turn off your cell phone when talking. If you go outside to answer the phone, you may not find her when you come back.
- If you meet friends, you can introduce them to them but stay focused on your conversation. Try to indirectly make it clear that they shouldn't interrupt you.
Step 8. Conclude on a positive note if she has to go away
Tell her that you enjoyed talking to her and that you were pleased to get to know her better. If you think there is a good understanding, ask her for her phone number. The next morning, text her to let her know you had a great time and wish her a good day. If she replies to you, you have a good chance of seeing her again to resume the conversation.
- You should wait at least a day before calling her, especially if you don't already know each other. If not, they may think you run too much or are looking for attention. Postpone the call to the next day.
- When you call them, try to be nice, but concise. Unless she insists on prolonging the conversation, just ask her if she'd like to see a movie or have coffee with you, that's all. You have to impress her when you see each other because it is in these moments that you have the opportunity to better control the situation and fix it immediately if something goes wrong.
- Don't be too explicit until you're sure she likes you. If you are persistent, she may feel embarrassed, so don't overdo it. And remember to keep the conversation going at all times!
Advice
- Remember that if you don't risk it, you'll never get anything. If you don't jump into a conversation, you'll never know what you might be missing out on. If everything goes well, it could even be the beginning of a deep and lasting bond.
- Be kind and show yourself as you really are.
- If you come from another country or belong to a different culture than hers, you may want to tell her about your origins, your ethnicity and your traditions. For example, if you are Asian and want to interact with an American girl, tell her about your language or culture. However, be careful: culture can be a great starting point for conversation, especially if it is different or interesting in the eyes of your interlocutor, but generally the best conversations are those in which there is intercultural exchange, so don't be "exotic" or "foreigner".
- With practice, you will no longer feel butterflies in your stomach. If you get used to hooking up with lots of different girls, you will still feel a little agitation during conversations, but you will feel more and more comfortable. Either way, the more you relate to other women, the better your chances of meeting a great girl.
- Remember not to gossip or speak ill of anyone, just focus on them. Gossip can give you a sour spinster air. If you start criticizing, you risk being relegated to the so-called "friend zone". It is not certain, but it is probable.
- If you're interested in starting a relationship with this girl or learning more about her, it might be a good idea to ask her about her ex. Not only will you initiate a long, articulate conversation, but you will be able to understand what went wrong with her latest romance and what you should avoid doing. Be careful: if her breakup is recent enough, it could be a sensitive subject that puts her in trouble. This tactic only works in certain situations.
Warnings
- Try to make eye contact with her, even if she's wearing a low-cut dress. If she notices you are looking at her breasts, the conversation won't last long.
- Keep a packet of gum or mints handy so you don't doubt your breath while talking to her.
- If she's wearing a very short skirt, don't be caught looking under the table. You would ruin the meeting.
