Knowing how to read body language can help you develop more intimate relationships, because non-verbal communication makes up up to 60% of the content of interactions between two people. For this, being able to notice the signals that people send with the body and being able to interpret them correctly is a very useful skill. By paying a little more attention, you can learn to interpret body language accurately, and if you practice enough, it will become a habit.
Steps
Method 1 of 5: Interpreting Emotional Signals
Step 1. Beware of tears
In almost all cultures, crying is believed to be caused by an explosion of emotions. Crying is often considered a sign of sadness or grief, but in some cases it is happiness that causes this reaction. Even laughter and humor can lead to tears. Therefore, if the person in front of you is crying, look for other signs that will help you attribute the right cause to this event.
Crying can also be forced or self-induced to deceive others or gain sympathy. This behavior is known as "crocodile tears", a colloquial expression that originates from the myth that crocodiles "cry" while capturing prey
Step 2. Look for signs of anger or threat
Signs of aggression include frowning, wide-open eyes, an open or downward sloping mouth.
Keeping your arms folded and tight is another common sign of anger and closure towards you
Step 3. Look for signs of anxiety
When people feel anxious, they blink more, move their face more, and their mouth is closed in a thin line.
- An anxious person often plays nervously with their hands and cannot keep them still.
- People can also transmit their anxiety by subconsciously tapping their foot on the ground or nervously moving their legs.
Step 4. Look for expressions of embarrassment
Shame can be signaled by looking away, turning the head or with a fake, even tense smile.
If someone looks down often, they are probably shy, fearful, or embarrassed. People also have a tendency to look down when they are angry or trying to hide their emotions. Often our thoughts and feelings are not pleasant when we keep our eyes fixed on the floor
Step 5. Notice the displays of pride
People show pride with a slight smile, tilting their heads back and keeping their hands on their hips.
Method 2 of 5: Interpreting Relational Signals
Step 1. Evaluate the proxemics, that is the distance that a person places between himself and others, and the haptic system, that is the set of contact actions that a person establishes with someone
These are widely used signals to communicate the state of an interpersonal relationship. Physical contact and closeness indicate satisfaction, affection and love.
- People united by an intimate relationship establish a less personal distance between them than they expect from strangers.
- It is worth noting that personal space varies from culture to culture; a distance considered close in one country may be considered sufficiently far in another.
Step 2. Look at a person's eyes
Studies have shown that when someone is engaged in an interesting conversation, their eyes remain focused on the interlocutor's face about 80% of the time. The gaze does not stop only on the eyes of the other, but lingers on them for a few minutes, then goes down to the nose and mouth, before returning to the eyes. From time to time, this person will look at the table, but will always return to look for eye contact with his interlocutor.
- When people look up and to the right during a conversation, they are usually bored and have already stopped listening.
- Dilation of the pupils indicates that a person is interested in what is happening. Remember, however, that many substances cause this phenomenon, including alcohol, cocaine, amphetamines, LSD, and so on.
- Eye contact is often thought of as proof of sincerity. An insistent or even aggressive eye contact indicates that a person is perfectly aware of the message they want to communicate to you. As a result, those who try to deceive you may pretend, forcing themselves to look you in the eye so as not to give the impression of avoiding your gaze, an attitude often considered an indicator of lies. Remember, however, as mentioned earlier, that you have to consider a lot of variations when trying to evaluate a person's eye contact and sincerity.
Step 3. Observe the posture
If a person keeps their arms behind their neck or head, they show openness to the topic of discussion or show their relaxed attitude.
- Keeping the limbs crossed and squeezed is usually a sign of resistance and little inclination to listen to others. In general, when a person maintains this posture, it indicates physical, mental and emotional closure towards the interlocutor.
- In a study of 2,000 recorded negotiations to assess participants' body language, no agreement was ever reached when one of the people involved was holding their legs crossed.
Method 3 of 5: Interpret the Signs of Attraction
Step 1. Evaluate eye contact
Looking a person in the eye is a sign of attraction, as is blinking more than 6-10 times per minute.
Winking can also be a sign of flirtation or attraction. Remember, however, that this gesture is typical of Western culture; in some Asian communities, winking is considered rude and to be avoided
Step 2. Pay attention to specific facial expressions
Smiling is one of the clearest signs of attraction. But make sure you know how to tell a genuine smile from a fake one. A forced smile does not affect the eyes. A sincere one, on the other hand, usually causes small wrinkles around the eyes (crow's feet). When a person pretends to smile, you will not notice these wrinkles.
Raising your eyebrows is also considered a sign of attraction
Step 3. Evaluate a person's posture, gestures and attitude
Usually, two people who are attracted to each other try to reduce the distance between them. This means leaning more towards the other person or even touching each other. A pat on the arm or a light touch can be a sign of attraction.
- You can also indicate your attraction by keeping your feet or body facing the person you are interested in.
- Keeping your palms facing up is another sign of romantic interest, suggesting your openness.
Step 4. Consider gender differences when looking for signs of attraction
Men and women demonstrate their attraction through different body languages.
- The man has a tendency to lean forward and turn his chest towards the object of his interest, while a woman who reciprocates the attraction orients her torso in another direction and pulls back.
- An interested man might raise his hands above his head at a 90 ° angle.
- When a woman shows attraction, she can hold both arms outstretched and touch her body with her hands in the area between her hips and chin.
Method 4 of 5: Read the Power Signals
Step 1. Notice if a person looks you in the eye
Eye contact, a component of kinesics, is the primary means used by people to express their dominance. Those who seek to impose their supremacy take the liberty of staring and studying others by looking them straight in the eye. He will also be the last to break eye contact.
If you're trying to assert your power, remember that constantly staring at someone can be intimidating
Step 2. Evaluate facial expressions
Those who try to assert their dominance avoid smiling because they want to communicate their seriousness and prefer to be sulky or curl their lips.
Step 3. Evaluate a person's gestures and body position
Some movements can demonstrate superiority; Pointing to someone and making sweeping hand gestures are ways to communicate your status to others. Furthermore, people express their dominance even if they assume a wider and more upright position, while at the same time proving to be relaxed.
Dominant people offer firm handshakes. They usually hold their hand up with the palm facing the ground; their squeeze is firm and prolonged, to demonstrate their control over the situation
Step 4. Consider how a person manages their personal space
Often, those who feel important keep their distance from people of lower rank. It also has a tendency to take up more space to demonstrate its dominance and control of the situation. In other words, a wide and open posture indicates power and personal fulfillment.
- You can demonstrate your power by standing instead of sitting down. Standing, particularly in a prominent position, is considered a pose that expresses power.
- By keeping your back straight and shoulders back, without arching forward, you can convey confidence in your abilities. Bending your back and hunching your shoulders, on the other hand, are signs of a lack of self-esteem.
- Dominant people lead others and walk in front of their group, or enter the doors first. They love to be on the front line.
Step 5. Observe how and when the person in front of you makes physical contact with you
Those who affirm their state of superiority are not afraid to touch their interlocutor. In general, in situations of disparity, a higher-ranking person will touch the lower-ranking person more frequently.
In meetings where two people have the same social status, the number of contacts will be almost equivalent
Method 5 of 5: Understanding Body Language
Step 1. Remember that interpreting body language is very difficult
Non-verbal communication is complex, because each person is different and has a unique behavior. Reading body language can therefore be a challenge. In fact, when interpreting the signals you receive from others, you have to consider the whole context. For example, has your interlocutor already revealed to you that he had a fight with his wife or did not receive a promotion at work? Or did you just notice that he was visibly anxious at lunch?
- When interpreting another person's body language, it is important, if possible, to take into account their personality, social factors, what they are saying and the environment they are in. While this information is not always available, it can be helpful in understanding non-verbal language correctly. People are very complex, so you shouldn't be surprised that the messages they convey with their bodies are also difficult to decipher.
- You might compare reading body language to watching your favorite TV show. You watch an entire episode to fully understand the meaning of each scene, you don't just limit yourself to looking at individual separate scenes. You probably also remember the past episodes, the characters' stories and the whole plot well. To correctly interpret a person's body language you need to consider all the context!
Step 2. Remember to consider individual differences
There are no absolute guidelines applicable to anyone. If you really want to learn how to interpret a person's non-verbal communication, you should be able to study it for some time. What is true for one person may not be true for another.
For example, when some people lie, they look away, while others try to stare even more at their interlocutor to deflect suspicion
Step 3. Remember that body language varies by culture
For some emotions and bodily expressions, the meaning of the messages is specific to each culture.
- For example, in Finnish culture, eye contact with a person is a sign of openness. On the contrary, in Japan, it is considered an expression of anger.
- As a further example, in Western culture, those who feel comfortable with you approach and turn their face and chest directly in your direction.
- People with certain disabilities may have particular body language. For example, autistic people often avoid eye contact while listening and fidgeting frequently.
- Although some physical expressions of emotion vary from culture to culture, it is important to note that some messages sent with body language are universal. This is especially true for communication of domination and submission. For example, in multiple cultures, a hunched posture indicates submission.
Step 4. Note that understanding varies based on the non-verbal channel used
Non-verbal channels are the means by which a message or signal is transmitted without the use of words. The most important ones include kinesics (eye contact, facial expressions and body language), the haptic system (physical contact) and proxemics (personal space). In other words, the medium determines the message.
- As a general rule, people are more adept at reading facial expressions, have some difficulty understanding body language, and are somewhat less adept at interpreting personal space and physical contact.
- There are also many variations within each channel. For example, not all facial expressions are easy to interpret. Generally, people are better at recognizing expressions of pleasure than ones of discomfort. One study found that people are better at interpreting happiness, excitement, or contentment correctly than anger, sadness, fear, or disgust.
