Leaving a friend can be a sad experience. When you're used to seeing someone every day, it's not easy to adjust to a long-distance relationship. To begin with, greet him in the right way, so as to give a closure to the relationship. Afterward, deal with your friend's absence. Stay in touch with him remotely thanks to emails, phone calls and social media.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Say Goodbye
Step 1. Encourage him to relocate
Even if it is difficult, make a commitment to show your support for your friend's departure. As painful as the estrangement is for you, he is probably even more stressed than you are. He has to think about packing his bags and planning the move, so as not to consider the tension of having to enter a new community. You need to make sure you support him until the day he leaves. This allows you to greet each other on a positive note.
- Listen to him if he needs to talk. He may feel stressed, sad, or angry about the move. Show that you are a good friend by listening to their concerns. Don't be afraid to tell him you will miss him, but avoid putting extra stress on him.
- Even if you are sad about your friend's departure, try to express your sincere happiness for him. Wish him the best in his transfer. Like all his Facebook posts about the news and try to help him look at the idea with optimism. Find information on things to do in the city where you are going to live.
Step 2. Create memories that you can record
Memories are important to better tolerate the departure of a friend. You may feel less sad about his move by having tangible memories available. Try to take photos, record videos and voice messages together with your friend: it will help you say goodbye. You will miss him less knowing you have something to remember him.
Step 3. Seek the support of others
As mentioned, your friend is probably already very busy with their move; do not unload your sadness on him too. Seek support from other friends and family. Talk to them about how it feels to say goodbye to someone important.
- Ask permission before speaking to someone, explaining that you need to process feelings about your friend's departure. Ask him if he has time to listen to you, then let him know how you feel.
- Choose an empathetic person, such as an older relative or a good mutual friend. Find someone who has already listened to you in difficult times in the past.
Step 4. Consider having a farewell party
A party can be a great way to mark the end of an era. Ask mutual friends if they are willing to get together to say hello to your departing friend. This way he will have a chance to talk to everyone for one last time.
- Consider organizing party events that help bring a closure to the relationship. For example, you could all prepare a short farewell speech, or sign a farewell note.
- Don't expect the farewell party to be fun and carefree. There will also be tears and sadness; it's normal. Don't try to force your friend or guests to be happy all the time.
Step 5. Try giving him a goodbye gift
Consider giving your friend something. This can give both of you a sense of closure. He will have something to remind you and you will have the feeling that you have officially said goodbye.
- You don't have to spend a lot of money on a farewell gift. You can choose something sentimental related to your relationship. For example, if you love going to a specific bar, get him a glass of that venue.
- You can also think of a creative gift. Write him a poem celebrating your friendship, or compose a collage with your photos.
Part 2 of 3: Coping with Your Friend's Absence
Step 1. Accept that negative emotions are normal
When a friend moves, it's natural to have negative feelings. You shouldn't expect to quickly recover from change. Live your emotions freely, whether they are good or bad.
- It is normal to feel sad when you lose a friend, especially if you were very close. Even if you stay in touch, you won't be able to just go to his house at the end of a hard day. It is normal to feel disappointed and frustrated with this change.
- You may also feel anxious. Your friend will meet people he doesn't know, in the new environment. You may be worried about being replaced or forgotten. These anxieties are also very common.
- If your friend is leaving for good reasons, such as finding a new job or enrolling at the university he wanted, you may feel guilty about your sadness. You may feel like you need to be happy for him and his wonderful new life. However, you have a right to be sad. All changes cause mixed emotions. You can be happy for your friend, but still feel sad because you will miss him.
Step 2. Express your feelings
It's not a good idea to suppress emotions during a hard change for you. You have to be able to express how you feel to process it. As mentioned, you can talk to a friend or relative you trust. You can also express your feelings by writing. Keeping a journal about your emotions a couple of times a week can help you get through the transition.
Step 3. Reflect on the friendship
Think for a while after your friend is gone. Transfers can create weird feelings. The friendship hasn't ended, but it has changed dramatically. Things will be different from now on. Reflect for a while on the relationship you had when you lived close by.
Try to consider the positives and negatives. You will have regrets when your friend leaves. There are probably a lot of things you've never done together. However, you should also be grateful for the time you shared
Step 4. Give yourself time to get used to it
In some cases, it just takes time. When a close friend leaves, you may feel weird in their absence. For example, you may not know what to do on the weekend, or you may feel lost when at the end of a stressful day you don't know who to turn to. It's normal. Don't try to force yourself to feel better faster than is natural. Give yourself time to get used to your friend's absence.
Step 5. Keep busy
It can take some time to get used to the absence of a good friend. Find ways to stay busy in his absence. Spend time with other friends or family. Look for new hobbies or activities that occupy your days.
- If you used to spend a day of the week with your friend, find activities to use those times in another way. For example, maybe you had dinner together on a Friday night; arrange something with another friend for that night or join a group that meets on a Friday.
- Contact other friends. Even if you miss the friend who left, you should work to strengthen the relationship with those who still live near you. They too probably miss you as much as you do and will appreciate your attempt to forge a closer bond.
- Find new hobbies. If you don't know what to do in the absence of your friend, finding new pastimes can help. Explore your interests. For example, if you've always been passionate about cooking, try signing up for a class.
Step 6. Consult a psychologist if necessary
It is normal to feel sad after a friend leaves. However, some mental health conditions, such as clinical depression, can make it more difficult to get used to the change. If you have been diagnosed with a mental problem in the past, or if you suspect that you are depressed, seek assistance from a counselor.
You can find a psychologist by asking your family doctor for a reference. If you are still in school, you may be eligible for free sessions with the school psychologist (if your institution has one)
Part 3 of 3: Staying in Touch
Step 1. Send regular e-mails and messages to your friend
Once your friend has moved, modern technology can help you a lot. Today, it's easier than ever to stay in touch with emails and messages, which arrive instantly. Try to maintain regular correspondence by email, writing him something every two weeks, updating him on your life. You can also text him every day with small remarks and ask him how his day is going.
Step 2. Call your friend or try making a video call
Long spontaneous conversations don't have to end because of the distance. Even if your friend is thousands of miles away, you can still call or video chat regularly. Try scheduling regular sessions on Skype, Facetime or Google Hangout. You can also just talk to yourself on the phone. For example, agree to meet every two Tuesdays.
Step 3. Stay in touch on social media
Thanks to social networks it is very easy to maintain a relationship with distant friends. Leverage platforms like Facebook, Snapchat, Instagram, and Twitter. You can receive updates on your friend's daily activities on their profiles and the distance between you will no longer seem insurmountable.
You can also play remotely on Facebook or with your smartphones. Trivia games and games like Words With Friends can give you the impression that your friend is right there with you
Step 4. Accept that your contacts will shrink over time
While it is easy to have a long-distance relationship with a friend, you will likely communicate less than you did as neighbors. In the beginning you could call and write to each other all the time because you miss a lot. However, once you get used to the situation and meet new people, communication can become less frequent.
This is not necessarily a bad thing and it does not mean that you are drifting away. Many people have distant friends with whom they have a very close relationship, even if they don't talk often. You may find that when you talk to your friend, it seems that time has not passed, even if you actually heard it a few months ago
Step 5. See you when you have the opportunity
Even if your friend has moved far away, you may still have opportunities to see each other. Try to do this once a year or so. If he still has relatives living in your area, he may come back for the holidays. Even if visits are infrequent, you may find that you enjoy his company more when you only see each other once a year.
Advice
- It is normal to be sad. If you have to cry, let it out. Talk to someone who cares about you and is willing to listen to your feelings.
- If your friend's departure makes you really sad, start working on a long-term plan or goal to regain happiness.
- Try to make new friends, not to forget your old partner, but to make his absence less painful.
