No one can take away the pain or sadness of a friend who is grieving the loss of someone. The pain you feel is such a great and intense emotion that it causes discomfort among family and friends. You may feel embarrassed or worried about what to tell him. However, you can help him cope with this situation by using understanding and sensitivity.
Steps
Method 1 of 3: Be Aware of Mourning
Step 1. Have patience
There is no right or wrong way to feel pain and grieving can take months or years.
Step 2. Reassure him that it is understandable to feel anger, guilt, fear, depression, and remorse
The processing process can be an emotional rollercoaster ride - you may not be able to get out of bed one day and scream, scream, or even laugh out the next day.
Step 3. Approach his pain
Sometimes people who have suffered a loss feel lonely and isolated. You don't have to have all the answers. In reality, listening or giving a hug is enough to give a little comfort.
Method 2 of 3: What to Tell a Grieving Friend
Step 1. Recognize the grief
You can help him by trying not to be afraid to use the word "death". Trying to soften the situation, saying phrases such as "I heard you lost your husband" could make the other person nervous. Her husband is not lost, he is dead.
Step 2. Let him know you care
Be open and honest when communicating with him. "I'm sorry" is an excellent phrase to use in these circumstances.
Step 3. Offer your support
It's okay to tell someone who is grieving someone missing that you don't know what to do, but there is some way to help. It is possible that he will ask you to help him choose photos, do some shopping or mow the lawn.
Method 3 of 3: Help out a friend who is grieving
Step 1. Take the initiative, offering to assist him or demonstrating your availability
- Bring him food. Often, when the bereavement is recent, people forget to eat. Therefore, by bringing him something he likes or some restaurant-cooked dish, you can be sure that he is eating adequately.
- Help him with the funeral. If he has never faced a loss, he surely won't know how to prepare a funeral. You can help him by offering to write the obituary, in choosing the church or hall for the funeral service, and assist him in finding someone to speak during the ceremony.
- Clean his house. He may have suffered such a violent emotion that he was unable to carry out the usual housework. Often relatives and friends outside the city are hosted by the person closest to the deceased, so helping him clean the house will be a useful gesture.
Step 2. Continue to support after the funeral
Grief takes time and you can stay close to him by maintaining relationships with him after the funeral. Call him, bring him lunch, and tell him about the missing person.
Step 3. Keep an eye out for any symptoms of depression
It is normal in these circumstances to feel depressed, but if he is unable to go to school or work, sleep peacefully, eat (or eat all the time) it is probably necessary to give him more help.
- The grieving process varies from person to person. If it does not seem to improve over time or speaks of suicide, it is advisable to intervene.
- Offer to accompany him to a bereavement support group or discuss whether to make an appointment with the treating doctor if the thought of death is persistent, hallucinates, or unable to perform normal daily actions.
Advice
- Don't tell someone grieving someone's death that you know how it feels, unless you've experienced a similar situation.
- Don't say the missing person is in a better place. It is possible that those who are facing the disappearance do not have this kind of faith and, indeed, may think that the best place they could be is the one next to them, while alive.
- Do not push the times, saying that everything is overcome. This way, he may feel compelled to stifle the pain he is experiencing and become irritated. This kind of suffering deserves its time.
- Consider that individuals react differently to the death of loved ones. We must not avoid talking about the deceased, but it is not so good to talk exclusively about this topic.
- Hug your friend and tell him that you are sorry for his loss.
