Having a friend who needs surgery can be difficult and delicate, you may be concerned about the right things to say and do under these circumstances. Here are some tips for you!
Steps
Step 1. If you are aware of the surgery in advance, offer your help in any way possible
Your friend may need someone to take care of their mail, their pets, pick up their kids from school, and so on.
Step 2. If your friend needs to stay in the hospital, consider visiting him
It would be best to call him in advance to make sure he is available for visits. Check the visiting hours set by the hospital. Get him something to cheer him up, maybe a magazine or a funny book. Flowers are great, but impractical to carry home once out of the hospital. Make short visits, 20 minutes maximum. Mentally prepare yourself for the fact that your friend may look very different than usual (e.g. weaker and paler). If doing it sounds complicated, think about what your friend is going through!
Step 3. If you have a cold or some other contagious disease, avoid visiting him
If you can't do without it, it is advisable to wear a surgical mask to prevent infecting other people. Even if you don't have cold symptoms, wash your hands carefully before entering the room. Purchase a hand sanitizer and leave it on the door for other visitors to use.
Step 4. Do not ask questions about the diagnosis or the results of the surgery
If your friend wishes to share your information with you, they will do so spontaneously. He is probably tired of constantly talking about his ills. Therefore, if you need to know something, ask your doctor or your partner some questions. Your friend's energies may be limited and you don't want him to waste them on something stressful and troubling.
Step 5. When your friend comes home from the hospital, make sure he is okay
Short telephone calls are always appreciated. Offer your help in every possible field. Remember, even in the apparent absence of tangible need, a short visit or phone call could be appreciated. He will feel less lonely and you can improve his mood by giving him a smile.
Step 6. Don't tell him to call you if he needs anything
He probably won't want to bother you. Offer specific help: "I'm going to the supermarket, can I buy you something?", Or "I'm free this afternoon, would you like to visit you?", "I can help you with the housework by taking care of dishes, laundry, etc. ? ". Just do it!
Step 7. Bringing a ready meal is a thoughtful gesture, but don't forget to find out about his current tastes in advance
Appetite may be slow to return. In the case of abdominal surgery, some foods may need to be temporarily avoided. So no junk food and no alcohol.
Step 8. Share with him the news, what is happening in your life, but keep a positive and optimistic tone
There is no need to mention your current firing or big fight with your partner.
Advice
- While emails are a great way to communicate your feelings, the person may not feel able to read them. Sitting at the computer may not be easy, so your words may remain unread for days. Even if you are very busy, take the time to make a phone call or send a ticket.
- When your friend feels ready to do this, offer to take him for a short drive. Just leaving the house for a while can help them feel less isolated.
-
Even if you fear disturbing your friend during the recovery phase, remember that he will certainly be happier to know that you are thinking about it rather than not feeling in any way!
Don't try to sweeten the pill too much. Surgery is a traumatic experience and everyone needs to deal with it in their own way. Don't remind your friend how lucky he is to have access to sanity, and don't flaunt fake perfection. He may have been faced with something more traumatic than you know, and a forced optimism could knock him down even more
- If your friend prefers not to receive visits or calls, don't take it personally. However, he will remember your interest and concern.
- Offer to accompany him to the next medical check-ups. Emotional support is always of great help and physical assistance may also be needed.
