Finding out that your teen is wearing or owning diapers can really upset you. However, try to remain calm and react correctly, as if you behave in a wrong way, you could cause a trauma to the boy. The most important things are to understand that there is nothing wrong, keep an open mind and do some research.
Before anything else, read this article, section Warnings and Tips included
Steps
Step 1. Talk to the boy and ask the reason for his actions
Be kind and understanding, listen to him, and don't make hasty decisions until you know more. Know that he may be lying out of embarrassment, which is why you have to be calm and gentle in addressing the issue to the end. If you scream and sound aggressive, you will get nothing.
- Make sure she has no incontinence problems, both at night and during the day. Asking directly may not be the most effective way to find out, but it's definitely better than spying on your child. Start by paying more attention to the laundry. If you start rummaging in his room, he will find out and you will instantly lose his confidence.
- If you discover that there is a serious incontinence problem, try to convince him to make an appointment with a doctor and accompany him. Let him explain the situation to the doctor and don't go into the office if he asks you not to. However, check for any medications you may prescribe, as some doctors may suggest some that can cause permanent problems.
Step 2. Do some research on what your child has told you. Use Google carefully and carefully since there are sites that are particularly permissive and others that strongly oppose this practice. Avoid these websites as they are NOT trustworthy or impartial. Use multiple sources of information, do your research, and don't trust the first news you find. Understand why some people like to wear diapers. Be aware that the desire to wear diapers HAS NOTHING to do with pedophilia.
Step 3. Speak honestly with your child and keep an open and understanding attitude. Avoid yelling and don't look hostile, but try to stay calm. A sincere parent-to-child conversation assumes there is understanding and empathy for each other's feelings. You will both feel better and closer if things go right. If you can't manage it, you can contact a consultant to settle the differences (but be careful because many consultants and therapists are against the use of diapers and their intervention could be negative).
- Try to understand if his need to wear diapers arises from the need to be treated like a small child or if he is a diaper fetishist, as in both cases the diaper becomes a necessity even if it is difficult to understand.
- Maintain this understanding attitude and, if it helps coexistence, set rules. You may, for example, agree not to talk about diapers in public, or that you can buy diapers without your child's permission. You could ask him not to wear nappies when there are guests and that he has to arrange the disposal himself. Try to compromise because, however informed you may be on the matter, you will never be able to fully understand his feelings.
Step 4. Keep an open mind and, once again, remember that if your child is really a fetishist or a manifest of infantilism, for him the diaper is a real necessity
If you try to understand this, your child will probably feel comfortable telling you other things as well.
Step 5. Read the warnings in this article, they are very important
Advice
- Try to be kind, understanding in the family is the best thing for both of you, as you will feel comfortable about this and can address other topics as well.
- Remember that wearing diapers is not the worst thing a teenager can do. As stated on an information site on boys who love diapers: "Diapers don't make you pregnant, nor do they get you drunk or high." Additionally, wearing diapers and using other baby items are supposed to promote a calmer and less violent attitude.
Warnings
- NEVER spy on your child and DO NOT browse his stuff. If you do, he WILL NOTICE it and all the trust he had in you will disappear. You will never be able to get information from a teenager who doesn't believe in you.
- If he asks for your help, or support (to buy nappies and other baby items) or he wants to get you completely involved (to have his diapers changed, fed, given a bottle etc…) BE OPEN and honest! Explain to him where your comfort level ends: some parents can barely bear to see diapers on the bed, for others there are no limits and they go so far as to bathe, feed, change and sometimes breastfeed their teenage child.
- If you forbid him to vent this need, your child will find a way to do it anyway, and perhaps even in a dangerous way such as stealing diapers or rummaging in the dumpster. He may also get involved in drug stories to fill the emptiness you have created by denying him his needs. Don't force him down this path.
