A true gentleman respects others, from the women he wants to hang out with to the elderly ladies who need help carrying their groceries. He looks after his appearance impeccably, is polite to all the people who deserve it, and is kind to women regardless of his chances of winning them over. To be a true gentleman, you will need to be mature, attentive to your behavior and courteous. While the cavalry hasn't disappeared, you can work hard to bring more respect and attention to the world.
Steps
Part 1 of 4: Be Presentable
Step 1. Good hygiene is a must
Wash and hygiene regularly. When using deodorant or perfume, don't overdo it. Some girls may not like the smell of it and if it is very strong, they will not find it pleasant. Don't use too much hair gel (it's sticky and will harden a lot after a while). It is important to take care of your body regularly and to look neat and clean before you leave the house.
- If you don't smell clean and fresh, your charm or the beauty of your clothes won't matter. It is important to take care of hygiene to be able to exploit your charisma without distractions.
- Make sure you wash your hands after using the bathroom. A true gentleman always does.
Step 2. Wear clothes that suit you
If you want to be a gentleman, choose clothes that fall well on your body, avoid flashy clothes and "missteps" of style (eg hat with a slightly side visor). A simple wardrobe will help keep the focus on you, not your clothes. Choose simple, solid colors like black, gray, and brown. There is no need to wear t-shirts with weird designs, glow-in-the-dark green shorts, or huge watches. Choose simple attire and you will have an elegant, gentlemanly look.
- It is very important to wear pants of the right size. Baggy pants will give you a scruffy look, while pants that are too short or tight mean you haven't been updating your wardrobe for too long. Make sure you keep the pants at your waist with a nice simple belt to show that you care about your appearance.
- Most men wear clothes that are at least one or two sizes too large. The next time you decide to buy a suit, make sure you get a tailored one and don't choose it yourself. A true gentleman looks after his appearance and goes out of his way to wear clothes that fall well. Also wear a suit of the right size, it will give you a slimmer look.
- Always make sure your shoes are clean. Shoes are said to be the first thing women notice when talking to a man. A quick (but effective) brushing can make a real difference.
- It is also important to choose the right clothes for the occasion. Try to respect the dress code, whether it's wearing informal work clothes or formal attire for a wedding. And remember that it is always better to be too elegant than too little.
Step 3. Take care of the details
To be a true gentleman, you will need to make sure that you comb your hair regularly and decide whether to shave your beard or look after it very well. Avoid leaving a short beard and shave it completely every morning, or you will look scruffy. Always keep a comb on hand so you can fix your hair (in private) if it gets ruffled by the wind or loses volume after a long day.
- Having clean nails is also important. Clean your nails and trim them every day or two to make sure your hands look neat.
- Trim visible nose hair for a well-groomed appearance.
Step 4. Shake hands firmly
A true gentleman knows how to shake hands. When you meet your future boss, your girlfriend's father, or your sister's boyfriend, you should make sure you look that person in the eye, shake their hand firmly, and show that you mean it. Don't squeeze too much to show your strength, but squeeze enough to show you want to make a good impression. This will make it clear that you are a gentleman who takes the time to meet new people.
If you are introduced to someone you don't know, give them the courtesy to stand up before shaking their hand
Step 5. Avoid offensive actions in public
If you are in public, you should avoid peting, burping, speaking too loudly, being too pretentious, touching your nether regions, or getting too drunk. A gentleman always has control over the body and mind. If you lose control though, it's important to apologize and not pretend that nothing has happened. Gentlemen are not AC, and all people should see the same attitudes you reserve for women when you try to get to know them better.
- Remember that a true gentleman is someone who is never embarrassed in public. A woman who wants to date you should be proud to introduce you to anyone, friends, family, or strangers.
- Self-awareness is a fundamental aspect of being a gentleman. You should always know how other people perceive you, and whether your actions could be considered offensive.
Part 2 of 4: Be Educated
Step 1. Help the people around you
Always worry about helping other people. You lose a few seconds holding the door to the person who is to enter after you. Offer to help an elderly or pregnant person load grocery bags into the car. Don't overdo it and don't risk getting hurt (e.g. holding the door while carrying a heavy load), but respect is key. Even if someone is acting stupid, be polite and respectful. True gentlemen don't just focus on women they want to conquer and don't ignore everyone else, being a gentleman is a lifestyle you will have to adopt with all people, not just the ones you want to date.
Beware of people who need help but don't want to ask for it. The waiter who has to bring a tray full of coffee would very much like you to open the door for him, but he may not ask
Step 2. Talk politely
Ask courtesy questions like "How was your day?", "Can I help you?" or offer your help, eg. “Let me take care of it.” Learn to speak slowly and carefully, and to speak politely, even when you're in a hurry. friendly and interested in talking about your days. A gentleman doesn't get to the point straight away, but takes the time to get to know people.
Being able to converse is a sign of class and maturity, two important aspects of a gentleman
Step 3. Don't swear - never
Don't talk about vulgar matters. If it's too hard for you to stop cursing altogether, reduce this bad habit as much as you can. A gentleman never swears, particularly in the presence of ladies, elderly people or refined people. If you happen to swear, apologize and avoid repeating that behavior in the future. If you find yourself in a situation where you have a tendency to swear, such as watching a game or driving in traffic, pay even more attention to what you say to show yourself as a true gentleman.
In addition to swearing, you should avoid vulgar comments in general. And remember that what's fun for you and your friends in the coziness of home may not always be appropriate for the girl you're wooing
Step 4. Don't talk too much about yourself
You should give people enough information about you to get to know you, but you shouldn't reveal everything right away. In addition to making you a person who is more pleasant to converse with, not sharing too much will give you an aura of mystery, which many women find attractive. Stay up to date on music, sports and politics, to always be up to the conversation.
Instead, focus your questions on a person's interests, hobbies, and projects. Let her know that you are more interested in her than in yourself
Step 5. Avoid talking about controversial or objectionable topics
Learn to avoid talking about politics with someone you don't know deeply, and try to appear neutral if someone talks about it. A simple shrug will suffice. A gentleman does not make other people feel embarrassed. Try to always agree with other people and don't give the impression that you only care about your opinion. You won't need to belittle other people to impress women; it is best to show your ability to get along with everyone.
Always remember to consider your audience. A joke that a suburban worker might find amusing may not make a refined intellectual laugh. Always take the interests of others into consideration
Step 6. Treat everyone with respect
Being a gentleman doesn't mean being polite and courteous only to beautiful women; it means respecting other men, the elderly and even children. A true gentleman cannot change attitudes with a switch, and should be kind and respectful to all people who deserve it. Respect people's space by not getting too close when talking to them. Respect a person's privacy by not looking at what they are doing over their shoulder and not asking too many personal questions. The important thing is to put people at ease, and not make them feel badly treated.
- Greet people when you meet them, ask how they are doing, and learn when they want to be left alone.
- Avoid talking too loudly and making too much noise, in public or at home, so as not to disturb the neighbors. It is not respectful to act like you are the only person on the planet.
- Make sure you chew with your mouth closed, so as not to disrespect the diners.
Step 7. Avoid physical confrontation
While it can sometimes happen that a physical confrontation is justified, it should only be in self-defense or to defend others. However, these situations should be quite rare.
- Remember: "gentleman" literally means not being a person who sees physical confrontation as the solution to every problem.
- It is wiser to step away from a confrontational situation, or call the police when appropriate.
- All self-defense techniques (such as martial arts) aim to use force only as a last resort.
Part 3 of 4: Being Courteous to Women
Step 1. Don't treat women like objects
The worst attitude you can reserve for a woman is to look at her as if she were a piece of meat. Women are human beings with thoughts, hopes and goals, and you should never stare and treat them as if their only function is to be a joy to behold. When you first meet a woman, ask her her name and really get to know her, instead of just staring at her as if you were undressing her with your eyes. Women know right away when you look at them that way and they will can't wait to leave.
Gentlemen understand that women are to be treated with respect. They do not use obvious pickup phrases and prefer to flirt with more taste and lightness
Step 2. Show your respect with actions
Don't be obsequious, but feminism has helped eliminate some practices that women find enjoyable, like opening a car door or a front door, etc. Every woman is different, and you should try to figure out which gestures make her uncomfortable. For example, a gentleman would offer to give his coat to a woman who is cold, but first make sure it is a welcome gesture.
Step 3. When walking with a woman on the sidewalk or the side of the road, a gentleman should always walk on the side closest to the road
It is an old chivalric gesture that has the intention of "protecting" the woman from the street. You can decide whether to follow this advice, but you should know it. Judge the woman's reaction when you try this advice to see if she finds it a sweet or dated gesture.
Step 4. Avoid discussing offensive or boring topics with women
Avoid talking about how beautiful other girls are and similar topics. If she doesn't like sports and video games, you can say something about them, then move the conversation to something that interests her. Girls tend to be more interested in books and music than sports and video games, although there are many exceptions to this rule.
Step 5. Never speak to women condescendingly or insulting them
Little teasing can be fun, but always avoid being cruel. Teasing does not mean insulting. Even if your tone is playful, a woman always feels hurt if you address her with a vulgar word. Also, never act like you can teach a woman something just because you are a man.
A man who is kind to a woman until the moment he realizes that the romantic interest is not reciprocated and then begins to insult her is not a true gentleman. To be a true gentleman you will have to accept the idea that not all women in the world will fall in love with you and that you should still treat them with kindness
Step 6. Be respectful at the end of an evening with a woman
Don't overlook the fact that the world is a more dangerous place for girls - they are easier targets at night or in slums. Drive her home (or car) if possible. No matter his strength, a girl will always be targeted first, while a man is automatically safer. If your girlfriend has to park away from home, always offer to give her a lift to her destination. He'll appreciate how much you care about his safety.
Again remember not to cross the line and don't make a girl feel like she can't look after herself. That said, it is very rude to make her leave your house without taking her home
Step 7. Use old traditions with caution
It can be difficult to understand exactly which traditions to follow. Indeed, some of them may offend some women who feel independent and see the idea of being helped by a man as outdated or even offensive. Here are some traditions that used to be seen as chivalrous, and that are starting to disappear:
- Pay the bill.
- Help her with the coat.
- Stand up when a woman enters.
- Offer a woman your place.
Part 4 of 4: Be a Gentleman with Your Girlfriend
Step 1. Be selfless
Remember to make cute gestures for your girlfriend when you are together. If she is carrying something, you take it when she puts it down and gently tell her "let me carry it", whatever the object. Remember, being selfish is not attractive. If you are watching television and you know he likes to watch a certain program, don't change the channel. He will appreciate these acts of selflessness of yours more than he admits.
That said, you shouldn't make a girl feel like she can't do anything on her own. Be careful - if she seems annoyed when you bring things for her or help her, you might step aside and only help her when she really needs it
Step 2. Give her unexpected gifts
Give her a card or flowers, not just for anniversaries or holidays. It doesn't matter whether the thoughts are expensive and flashy, commitment counts. A rose, a cute note left on her pillow, or a heartfelt kiss will make any girl feel happy for days. These little gifts will let her know that you think she is even when you are not together and that you are always committed to making her feel happy.
While chocolates and flowers are great gifts, personalized gifts are even better. Two tickets to a play, a souvenir with her name or a poster that made you think of her really shows her that you think about her, and not a stereotype of the romantic woman
Step 3. Show your affection
If you really care about your girlfriend, remind her with loving contacts. If you are in public, hold her hand, put your arm around her shoulders, or kiss her cheek. When you are alone, you can be more intimate by kissing her neck or stroking her back or thighs if she appreciates it. To be a true gentleman, you should be patient, and wait until the girl is ready before going beyond kissing.
True gentlemen are proud to be seen with their girlfriend and to give her a lot of attention, even in the presence of friends. Hold her hand even when your friends are around; That said, it's not gentlemanly to kiss your girlfriend passionately in public
Step 4. Stand up in front of your girlfriend
Don't punch everyone who looks at her wrong, but if someone is staring at her or giving her unwanted appreciation, step in. Put your arm around her shoulders and pull her away, or reach out and speak for her. Physical contact will reassure her and let anyone who bothers her know that she will have to deal with both of them. A true gentleman does not allow other men to make advances to their girlfriend or make inappropriate comments.
You shouldn't threaten the other man and you shouldn't insult him. Instead, find a more polite way to tell him to step aside
Step 5. Don't say anything negative about your girlfriend to your friends
If you want to be a true gentleman, you should never say anything negative to your friends about the girl you hang out with. You may think that complaining about her or giving the impression that you don't care much will set a tone, but in reality it is an immature and disrespectful attitude that will make you look pathetic. When you talk about your girlfriend with friends, do it just to praise her or ask for advice.
To be a gentleman you will have to respect everyone. There is nothing more disrespectful than talking about your relationship problems to elicit a few laughs
Step 6. Don't tell your friends too much about your girlfriend
To be a true gentleman you should avoid telling your friends about your latest sexual advances. A gentleman doesn't talk about how good his girlfriend is in bed or how he kisses. These things will only have to stay between you, and telling your friends what's going on between the sheets is the worst thing you can do to a girl.
You should avoid talking about what's going on in the bedroom even if you have recently been with someone. If the girl found out she would be furious and your reputation would suffer a lot
Step 7. Don't force your girlfriend to do something she doesn't feel like doing
A true gentleman recognizes a woman's limitations and respects them. If the girl you're dating isn't ready for sexual intercourse - or doesn't want to get into it before a serious engagement - you should respect her decision instead of putting pressure on her. Having sex may not be a problem for you, but every woman at her limits and her ideas on how to manage her body. Never make her do more than she wants, and never make her feel guilty when she's not ready.
A true gentleman always makes a woman decide how much to push and never makes her feel guilty when she doesn't want to do something. He is always willing to listen and has the patience to wait
Advice
- Personal hygiene and a clean appearance are important, but they must not become an obsession.
- Don't be selfish. Always try to be kind.
- Treat people with respect and how you would like them to treat you.
- Smile and make eye contact with the person you are talking to. This way you will create emotional contact.
- Don't honk to get your girlfriend down, park and ring her door.
- Loving a woman means always giving, keep this in mind when you are together. Always give, but never resent her.
- When talking to someone, give them your full attention. Always be willing to listen.
- Always pay attention to your actions and your surroundings.
- When you are insulted, do your best not to react. You would probably only provoke the other person, risking physical confrontation. Walk away, but don't show fear.
- You don't have to be well dressed to be a gentleman. While it helps, a gentleman who works every day is very attractive.
Warnings
- Being polite is nice, but don't be overwhelming.
- A gentleman knows when a battle is lost. Know the difference between asserting your rights and acting irresponsible.
- Gentlemen behave with dignity and honor, but they must also be humble and selfless. Don't feel better than others just because you behave like a gentleman.
- Never use drugs and do not overuse alcohol. They will affect your judgment skills, and a gentleman must always be in control of himself.
