Controlling people can make your work and personal life a real disaster. Before becoming a submissive person, or after becoming one, learn how to foster respectful relationships and how to say "no". You can handle authoritarian people by tolerating them or making yourself respected.
Steps
Part 1 of 2: Tolerate Authoritarian People
Step 1. Recognizing who the boss is versus understanding who is bullying
Often the two are mixed and this can be a problem if you can't tell the difference between who you have to respect and the people who don't deserve this respect.
- A boss is an authority figure who has a role of direct responsibility towards you: a police officer, a parent, a teacher, a manager, etc. These are people who in one way or another have authority and responsibilities that you must respect.
- A person who behaves bully tends to command others and speak in an authoritative tone, even without actually being your superior: your friend, your brother, the person on the bus who always has to have his say about everything.
- In childhood, we are often conditioned to always be complacent and to follow directions. Some personalities are more willing than others. However, it is important to understand that unless an individual has actual responsibility to you, you are under no obligation to accept his command, opinion or advice.
Step 2. Take some time to calm down
Don't respond when you are in anger. Understand that people often want to control people because they feel insecure or helpless.
Step 3. Don't be passive aggressive
Rolling your eyes upward will increase the tension rather than limit it. If you are touchy and let the person control you, you will be childish.
If you find yourself responding like a kid, think back to your reaction. Such attitudes will not improve your relationship with this person, nor will they make you happier
Step 4. Turn the page
Sometimes you may know that that person is stressed out or going through a tough time, so just ignore the situation. This is only okay if you don't believe you encourage the person to disrespect you frequently.
Step 5. Avoid giving satisfaction to those who are pushy
Don't say yes right away or don't immediately do what you are told to do.
If you've ever had a pet, you may have learned something about "negative reinforcement". Even people immediately notice when a colleague or family member immediately fulfills all your requests
Step 6. Get some humor when someone is being bossy
When they tell you what to do, you can answer: "Do you want to do my job for me?", Or "Did you get promoted without my knowledge?". Use this method only if you know how not to overdo it.
A proper response will be a kind of warning, to make the person understand that his behavior has not gone unnoticed
Step 7. Ask your manager to explain all the steps to you when starting a new project
If you've had a problem with someone in the past, ask for these steps to be included in an official document.
If the person is still being bossy you can say, "I've already talked to you about how to best do this project. If you think we need to do something different, then we need to arrange a meeting with the team."
Step 8. Understand when you start feeling like a victim
Letting someone dominate for too long can create feelings of resentment and humiliation that can ruin a relationship. When this happens, you and the person controlling you need to move on to the next method.
Part 2 of 2: Get Respected by Authoritarian People
Step 1. Learn to say no
Take a deep breath and refuse to indulge this person.
Step 2. Reject politely
This is especially important if you are dealing with a supervisor, such as a boss or parent. However, don't apologize for your refusal.
- Try saying "in this case, I disagree with you", or "no, I don't think that's a good idea".
- If you say no in a confident and polite way, the person will be taken aback and will accept your opinion, respecting it.
Step 3. Prepare for his defensive
Some bossy people love confrontation. If this is your case, and the person responds badly to you, try to stay calm.
Say: "I understand your position, but in this case we cannot agree"
Step 4. Remain silent
After expressing your opinion and responding calmly, avoid starting an argument. Silence can make the person uncomfortable and may listen to you or walk away.
Step 5. Tell her she is being disrespectful
Sometimes bossy people have planned things well and have good ideas. If you like their ideas, but don't like their rude behavior, you can act differently.
- You reply by saying "it's a good idea, but the way you're talking to me is disrespectful".
- Try saying "I agree on what to do, but I don't like it when you are rude or command me like this."
- This is another way to get respect for yourself, without posing as an emotional or childlike person.
Step 6. Take some time to stay away from this person if he refuses to change his attitude
A person who is always disrespectful or tries to control all your actions could ruin your life.
- Try something more serious like "I don't like the way you're treating me."
- At work, say something like "I think we should work separately for this project. I can't work well when someone is obsessively controlling me."
