It is not at all nice to feel insulted. Criticism, mockery and offense can deeply hurt. However, you can confront those responsible for such insults to convince them to stop and leave you alone. You simply have to learn to take care of yourself and react correctly.
Steps
Method 1 of 3: Hot Reaction
Step 1. Avoid reacting right away
When someone tries to put you down, they deal with the situation without reacting on impulse. A sharp reply or an angry response will only throw wood on the fire. You will give him what he wants: a reaction from you. Another thing: it won't do you any good to react out of anger or other negative emotions. You risk doing or saying something you may regret.
- Take a deep breath or two to stay calm.
- Count slowly to five as you try to calm down.
Step 2. Don't take revenge
Maybe you are tempted to pay him back with the same coin, but such a reaction will make you demean to his level. It can also increase tension, so it won't solve the problem at all.
- Just like when you react on impulse, trying to get revenge will give him what he wants.
- As tempting as you feel, don't respond to rude comments and publications online by writing posts on the same line.
- Don't gossip about this person. It will make you feel good momentarily, but it won't help you solve the problem at all.
Step 3. Ignore it
Sometimes silence is the best weapon. If you ignore someone who insults you, you deny them the pleasure of getting a reaction from you. You will thus avoid wasting time and energy on someone who is not worth it. Plus, his bad behavior will be highlighted even more by your flawless demeanor.
- Act like he didn't tell you anything.
- Keep doing what you were doing without even looking at her.
- Unless this person is particularly stubborn, they will likely leave you alone when they feel ignored.
Step 4. Ask her to stop
It is a direct method of encouraging her to calm down. If ignoring her hasn't worked, or the situation is particularly annoying or painful, inviting her to stop can help solve the problem.
- Make sure you stay calm. Look into her eyes and express yourself in a controlled, confident, clear tone of voice.
- For example, if a classmate insults you, take a deep breath and calmly say, "Stop offending me!"
- If he's a co-worker, you might try saying, "I don't like the way you talk to me and the way you talk about me. I urge you to stop insulting me."
- If it's a friend and it wasn't his intention to offend you, you might say, "I know you didn't do it on purpose, but what you said hurt me. Please don't denigrate me like that."
Method 2 of 3: Develop a Strategy
Step 1. Try to understand the reason for his behavior
People insult for a variety of reasons. They don't always do it on purpose and they don't always intend to hurt. Understanding why someone behaves a certain way can help you understand how to act accordingly.
- Someone does it out of insecurity or jealousy. Try to feel better about yourself by denigrating others.
- Others do it because they want to hit someone or draw attention to themselves. For example, think of that colleague criticizing your work right in front of the supervisor.
- Others don't even realize it or are simply unable to communicate effectively. For example, think of a grandmother saying to her grandson: "Nice sweater, it covers your stomach well."
- Sometimes people have no intention of being obnoxious or hurtful and think their teasing is good-natured. Think for example of that friend who calls you "dwarf" because you are not particularly tall.
Step 2. Set limits
Some comments are annoying, but you can ignore them. Others are cruel and obnoxious, so they must be dealt with. Establishing where this boundary line is will help you determine how to behave from time to time.
- For example, your brother's teasing is unpleasant, but you know he doesn't mean it and has no intention of hurting you. There's usually no need to even intervene, unless you overdo it.
- But if a co-worker always makes nasty comments and you feel shaken, you need to intervene.
- If the insults are discriminatory or frequent, the person in question is overstepping all boundaries and must be put in line.
Step 3. Talk to colleagues and peers
People who don't know you well but offend you probably have bad intentions (or maybe they're just plain intrusive by nature). Without making a scene, explain that you are unwilling to accept this behavior.
- If possible, talk about it privately. Your interlocutor will not feel so pressured, plus the conversation will be respectful and completely focused on this topic.
- You might say to him, "During the meeting you commented on my idea with some harshness. I appreciate constructive opinions, but don't insult him. Please don't do that again."
- If he starts insulting you while trying to explain, end the conversation.
- If the behavior continues or worsens, it is necessary to report it to the competent person.
Step 4. Be assertive with friends and siblings
It can be harmless teasing at first, but sometimes it goes too far, so you need to invite the other person to take a step back. Don't laugh when you tell her to stop and don't insult her too. He won't take you seriously and the situation won't change. Be assertive when inviting someone to stop, with a calm, clear tone of voice.
- For example "Hahaha, stop it, can't you see you have ears like Dumbo?" it's not an effective way to invite your sister to stop teasing you.
- Look into her eyes, then in a calm and serious tone of voice try to say, "Okay, that's enough. I know it's fun for you, but it really bothers me, so I'm asking you to please stop."
- If she doesn't stop right away, tell her, "I was serious when I told you to stop," then walk away. He will probably come looking for you and apologize. Sometimes the people closest to you don't understand when you mean it.
Step 5. Be respectful to superiors
Sometimes parents, teachers or supervisors hurt, often without even realizing it. Talk to them to explain that you feel bothered by this behavior and want them to stop. They will gain a greater awareness of their own attitudes and feelings. It is an important step to take to address the situation in the long term.
- Contact the human resources division and see what they recommend for handling insults from a supervisor.
- If you feel like it, talk to him privately. The conversation will be less awkward for both of you.
- Try saying, "I feel hurt when you say my job is stupid" or "I know my performance isn't always perfect, but please don't call me lazy. This hurts me."
- If you don't feel like talking to us personally or you think your supervisor is intentionally insulting you, tell another adult you trust or tell the human resources division.
Method 3 of 3: Take Care of Yourself
Step 1. Don't get mad
A person's words reflect who they are, not who you are. If he were happy, he wouldn't waste all this time offending people. Plus, he's likely to do the same with others, not just you. If you let yourself be touched by her offenses, then you allow her to win. Don't let their opinions affect your self-esteem or make you feel bad about yourself.
- List all your best qualities to remind yourself that you are worth.
- Write down what he said about you. For each offense, write down three things in order to refute it.
- Make a list of all the good things others say about you.
Step 2. Use strategies to manage stress
It's stressful dealing with a negative person, especially if you have regular interactions. Learn to use techniques to help you cope with stress to cope with the person in question and the tension they cause.
- Practice deep breathing and meditation to keep calm in his presence.
- Practice mindfulness, as it can help you cope with stress and perhaps even ignore the person who is bothering you.
- Try exercising, such as jogging or swimming, to release tension.
Step 3. Get help
If a person constantly offends you or goes down on it, you should tell someone and ask for help, especially if they are someone who has authority, such as a teacher, parent, or supervisor. Having a support network will help you in several ways. The people who support you can defend you in the middle of the storm or report what happened.
- Confide in someone. Explain the situation in detail to help him understand it. Ask him for a hand in dealing with the person who offends you.
- You can simply ask a friend to stand by your side when you talk to the offending person to invite them to stop.
- You can also report the person in question to whoever is responsible.
Step 4. Hang out with positive people
Surrounding yourself with people who have a positive attitude is helpful in managing the stress of the situation you are experiencing. It also helps you take care of yourself in general. Being around positive people can fight stress, make you forget the person who offended you and how they made you feel.
- Try to make friends and talk regularly with people who cheer you up.
- Don't talk and talk about the person who offended you - do something fun!
Warnings
- If you feel threatened or fear that they may harm you, call the appropriate authorities immediately.
- If the offenses are due to factors such as race, age, sex, sexual orientation or disability, be sure to document the incident and report it.
