The first night you spend at your boyfriend's house is full of expectations, but a little nervousness is perfectly normal. If you feel comfortable enough to sleep in her house, that's a great sign: your relationship is going great. To have a positive experience, you just need to be yourself, plan ahead and communicate openly.
Steps
Part 1 of 4: Prepare Everything You Need
Step 1. Choose a discreet bag
You don't have to look like you're prepared to move full-time, but you do need some essential items that will come in handy the next morning. You will also need to be able to brush your teeth and remove make-up if necessary.
- See how many things fit in the bag you usually use. If you generally carry a tiny clutch bag or purse only, you will need a larger bag, otherwise pack only the bare essentials.
- If your boyfriend lives far away, you can prepare a lot more things. In fact, you will need all the items and products that you usually carry with you when you travel.
Step 2. Prepare for your evening rituals
You certainly don't want to find yourself in the awkward situation of having to borrow your toothbrush, but avoiding brushing is also not the best. Prepare all the things you can't do without.
- If you wear makeup, bring makeup remover. Some women prefer to go to sleep wearing make-up rather than having their boyfriend see soap and water. However this can be harmful to the skin, not to mention that sooner or later your he will see you without makeup.
- Prepare everything you need to take care of your hair. Some women have the need to collect them in a turban for bed, but they prefer not to do it when they sleep at their boyfriend's house. Of course, you don't want to wear curlers for a special evening, but you can bring a brush, comb or detangling spray.
Step 3. Prepare everything you need for the next morning
People usually need a long list of things. Think about what you will need considering your morning habits and how much time you will spend with him before you go home.
- If you are used to getting up early, bring your cell phone charger and a book or magazine. This way, if you wake up long before him, you can entertain yourself without any problems.
- If you have room in your bag, you may want to bring a pair of comfortable shoes, in addition to the ones you wear for the appointment.
- Don't forget the medications you need to take regularly. You can't know for sure what time you will be home the next morning.
Step 4. If necessary, prepare your preferred method of birth control
If you're planning on having sex, it's always a good idea to bring some condoms with you. Do not assume that he has them in the house: you take care of it. If you're not sure what's going to happen, take them anyway, you never know.
- The condom is the only method of contraception that also protects against sexually transmitted infections.
- You can also bring your own lubricant or sexual accessories of your choice.
Step 5. Bring some cash
It's a good rule of thumb that you should follow whenever you plan on spending the night out. If something goes wrong or you are unsure how you will get home, it is good to know that you have some cash for emergencies.
You will also need cash in case you decide to go for a drink, eat ice cream or have breakfast out. Don't assume he will always pay
Step 6. Dress in a versatile way
You may end up spending the whole morning or day with your boyfriend. If you've gone to his house wearing clothes that restrict you or are only suitable for a night date, they will likely be uncomfortable for a walk in the park or breakfast at the cafe.
In your wardrobe you cannot miss clothes that make you feel sexy, but that are also versatile and usable in a more informal context
Part 2 of 4: Managing Sex Expectations
Step 1. You need to know what you want
It is the first thing to consider when deciding what will happen when you spend the first night together. Don't think that you are forced to have sex just because you are going to sleep with him for the first time. However, if you wish, plan accordingly.
- Having sex can help you connect and connect even more intimately.
- Sex can also raise thorny issues like questions about monogamy, past partners, sexual health, and possible pregnancies. If you're not ready to talk about these issues with your boyfriend, you may not even be ready to have sex with them and face all the responsibilities that come with it.
- It's normal to feel ambivalent about sex, especially the first time around. If you're still not ready to make a decision, don't worry. Just make sure you are able to make a well-informed and consensual decision should the subject come up during the evening.
Step 2. Talk about your expectations
It may seem strange at first, but sooner or later this conversation will have to be faced. You can use a number of ways to get to know their expectations while still being pleasant and maybe adding a pinch of mischief.
- If you want the conversation to have a mischievous tone, you can ask him questions about where you will sleep. Try saying, "So what? Do you think we're going to sleep in the same bed or do I have to bring a sleeping bag?"
- If you want to be more direct, you can say something like: "I know this is the first night we spend together. I am very happy, but I would also like to talk about our expectations for the evening. I would like to know what you think about the possibility of having sexual intercourse and if you believe we are ready ".
- If you already know exactly what you want and are absolutely sure of it, you can be direct. Try saying something like, "Hey, I can't wait to sleep in your house, but I'd like to tell you I'm not ready to have sex with you" or "I'm looking forward to sleeping with you tonight. I feel ready. to step forward and have sex."
Step 3. Be firm but flexible
If you've already made up your mind (whether it's having sex or not), great. However, sometimes the specific situation can affect your mood and change your mind at any moment. Not a problem: listen to your instincts.
- You may not have planned on having sex, but then you feel extremely comfortable and can't wait to try.
- Maybe you've decided to have sex, but all of a sudden you feel uncomfortable or nervous - you can always change your mind.
- Make sure you make a decision considering your feelings, not the pressures of your boyfriend, your friends, your parents, or otherwise coming from outside.
Part 3 of 4: Spending the Evening and Going to Sleep
Step 1. Enjoy the company
You probably feel nervous about spending the night with him. However, remember that your boyfriend appreciates you for who you are. Besides, he's certainly nervous too. Relieve tension by relaxing together and sharing activities that you generally find enjoyable.
- Your boyfriend may be feeling nervous because you will see his house and his room. Put him at ease by telling him everything you like or appreciate about the space he lives in. You can say something like "I really like that poster you hung up" or "Wow, what a beautiful house!"
- If there isn't much to do in his house, you can go out for a walk or a drive. Spend the evening elsewhere and go home just to sleep.
Step 2. Indulge in your evening beauty rituals, such as removing make-up, brushing your hair, brushing your teeth, and taking care of all the other things you do before bed
Of course, at home you can take all the time you want, but when you sleep with your boyfriend, try to streamline the routine: in this way you will not spend hours in the bathroom and he will not ask questions about it.
- You don't have to explain what you do in the bathroom. He might ask himself some questions, but it's not a problem.
- If you are used to doing a braid or putting your hair up in a turban before going to sleep, it is best to avoid it the first few nights you spend together, as long as it is not a problem for you.
Step 3. Remember that sleep may be disturbed
When you sleep with another person for the first time, your brain may not be able to fully relax because it will be alert. You may wake up when your boyfriend moves in his sleep or changes position.
- Avoid sleeping with your boyfriend right before an important day at school or work.
- The next day you may feel the need to catch up on lost sleep by taking a nap, no matter how much you tried to go to bed early.
Step 4. Make yourself comfortable
If you weren't planning on sleeping with him, you probably don't have spare clothes or you haven't thought about what to wear to bed. If you have organized yourself, you may have thought that it made no sense to bring extra pajamas or clothes. To choose the nightwear, consider how comfortable you are with him and your degree of intimacy.
- If you end up having sexual intercourse or other acts of physical intimacy, you may feel comfortable sleeping naked or only in underwear.
- If she lives with her family, you may want to wear pajamas in case her mother or sister enters without knocking or you need to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.
- You can always ask him to lend you a shirt to sleep on. Many guys find it tender.
Step 5. Go to bed when you are ready
When it's time to go to sleep because both of you are tired, go for it. If you sleep together, you need to find a comfortable position for both of you. There are also other factors that can prevent you from relaxing, such as the following:
- Your he snores (you could bring a pair of earplugs, you never know!).
- One of the two steals the blankets or you prefer to sleep at very different temperatures.
- He likes to snuggle up and you don't (or vice versa).
Part 4 of 4: Waking Up Together
Step 1. Let him sleep
If you get up first, be considerate and let your boyfriend stay in bed. After all, you would probably appreciate the same courtesy from him. You can stay in bed snuggle up with him or go to the bathroom to indulge in your morning beauty rituals: this way, when he wakes up, you'll be ready for the day.
If he gets up first, he may go to the bathroom before you to brush his teeth and make himself presentable
Step 2. Evaluate how you will spend the morning
You may decide to spend the morning together or even a good part of the day together, but also do differently. It is good to know what the programs of the day are. If you haven't organized anything, don't assume you'll spend the whole morning together.
- Did you mention the breakfast? If the answer is no, you can suggest that they do it together or ask him where he would like to go. You can tell him, "Do you want us to have breakfast together?" or "I would love a coffee. Is there a bar nearby?".
- Does either of you have to go to work or school? If you have plans, make it clear. You can say, "I have to be at work in an hour, but if you like I'd like to have a quick coffee with you" or "Do you have plans for the day? I'm free, but go ahead if you're busy."
- Of course, your boyfriend should be thoughtful and respectful, so don't be ashamed to tell him clearly whether you feel like spending the morning together or not. In a healthy relationship, you need to be able to honestly express your feelings.
Step 3. If you wish, leave something at his house
This is a pretty common trick for flirting. Even though you've already started a relationship, it can be a great way to tease your him, but also to get him to think about you and make sure you'll see each other again soon. Here are some things you might "forget" at home:
- A dress.
- An accessory you always use.
- A toothbrush or a cosmetic.
- The book you are reading.
- The DVDs of the show you are watching together.
Step 4. If he lives with his family, respect the presence of his parents, brothers and sisters
Observe the house rules and behave politely.
- If your parents have determined that you will sleep in separate rooms or beds, respect their wishes. If they find that you have broken the rules behind their backs it could be a disaster.
- Avoid making too many displays of affection in front of his family. You can obviously be nice to each other, but don't kiss or cuddle in their presence.
- Dress discreetly for bedtime and roaming around the house. For example, don't go to the bathroom in underwear and a T-shirt.
Advice
- Relax for the first night you'll be staying with him. Don't try to overdo it, immediately use all your best sexual techniques or tricks for flirting.
- If he lives with his parents or other family members, talk about your clothing in advance, ask him if you need to bring anything in particular and what are the sleeping arrangements.
Warnings
- Remember that consent is important. Make sure you both verbally express this about all types of physical and sexual contact.
- Before you start having sex with someone, make sure they've recently taken a test for sexually transmitted infections and take both their and yours sexual health seriously.
