Would you like to be able to face the ups and downs of life with strength and style? Becoming mentally and emotionally strong is not something that happens overnight. If you are able to consider every little challenge that life presents to you as an opportunity to become stronger, you will begin to develop greater wisdom and mental clarity, which you can test when you find yourself facing real difficulties.
Steps
Method 1 of 4: Identify Your Weaknesses and Set Goals
Step 1. Understand what it means to be emotionally resilient
Being emotionally and mentally strong, or resilient, means knowing how to adapt to situations that present stress, trauma, adversity or tragic events. Resilience is not a quality that is acquired at birth, it is a process that can be developed and learned by anyone.
- Being emotionally strong does not mean never having to feel pain or suffering, on the contrary: resilience often develops when you are faced with an extremely painful situation. Being emotionally strong means learning to get up after a fall.
- To become resilient you will need to commit to developing some specific skills. For example, you will need to learn to set and achieve goals, be more confident, develop a more positive outlook on yourself, manage intense impulses and emotions, become a more adept communicator, and improve your problem-solving skills.
Step 2. Learn the topic of "emotion regulation"
If you want to become mentally and emotionally strong, it is equally important to learn how to manage your emotions. Sometimes life will present you with negative situations, it is inevitable; but, even then, you will always have the possibility to decide how to react. As before, we are not talking about innate gifts, anyone can learn to manage their emotions in a constructive way.
Step 3. Identify specifically the areas you want to change
Before you can develop greater mental and emotional strength, it is necessary to take an inventory of your current qualities and shortcomings to determine what is good to change. List as many of your strengths and weaknesses as possible on a piece of paper. Once you have completed the list, think about how you can turn each lack into a goal to be achieved.
For example, you may have written as one of your weaknesses that you have difficulty enforcing your needs. If you want to commit to improving in this area, you can decide that your goal is to become more assertive
Step 4. Recognize your strengths
In addition to identifying the aspects of yourself that you wish to change, it is important to take the time to celebrate your current qualities. Review the list of your positives and congratulate yourself on each of them. From time to time, patting yourself on the back will help you stay focused on your positive qualities and become mentally and emotionally stronger.
Step 5. Evaluate your past experiences
The reasons why you may feel mentally and emotionally weak may be related to some past events. Whether it is an episode that occurred a few months ago or in your childhood or adolescence, your mental and emotional strength may still be affected. Research has found that children who have been abused, mistreated or have long been neglected are more prone to developing emotional and mental disorders that can lead them to abuse drugs or attempt suicide.
- Try to determine if any negative experiences from your childhood may have contributed to your current mental and emotional state. Evaluate how and why they influenced your present.
- To be able to effectively process, manage, and overcome such experiences from your past, it may be necessary to speak to an experienced therapist.
Step 6. Determine if you have an addiction that requires medical intervention
An addiction to drugs, alcohol, sex or anything else can deteriorate your mental and emotional strength. If you think you have some kind of addiction, ask for help in breaking down your bad habits. If it is a severe addiction, you may need medical intervention. If you think your addiction is affecting your mental and emotional strength, see a doctor or qualified therapist.
Step 7. Record your thoughts and feelings in a journal
Keeping a journal can help you recognize the origins of your weaknesses and is a great way to relieve stress effectively. Choose a quiet place and schedule to go there every day for 20 minutes to write in your journal. You can start by describing how you feel or what your thoughts are, or you can use the "prompting" technique to help initiate your responses. Here are some possible "prompts":
- "I feel helpless when …"
- "My biggest weakness is …"
- "If I could talk to myself when I was a child, I'd say …"
- "When I'm feeling down, the best thing I can do or say to myself is …"
Step 8. Consider seeing a therapist
Sometimes, without help, it may not be easy to understand why you are having trouble and determine the best way to manage your feelings. A mental health professional can help you better understand your emotions and overcome them.
Note that your mental and emotional frailty may result from an underlying condition that needs to be treated. Talking to a therapist can help you better understand the dynamics and allow you to make the best decisions
Method 2 of 4: Keeping Your Balance
Step 1. Stay away from vices that disturb your mental well-being
If you are endangering your mental health by drinking, using drugs, lying, stealing, etc. you are preventing yourself from becoming emotionally and mentally stronger. Start letting go of these bad habits or, at the very least, do what you can to limit them, to prevent them from taking control of your behaviors and emotions. If you have any addiction, ask for help.
Step 2. Take care of yourself
Exercise, eat healthily, get enough sleep, and learn to relieve stress to help develop your mental and emotional strength. When you take good care of yourself, you send an important signal to your brain: "I deserve love and attention." Make sure you have plenty of time to meet your primary needs for exercise, nutrition, sleep, and relaxation.
- Exercise regularly. Make it a goal to exercise for at least 30 minutes a day.
- Eat a balanced diet of natural foods such as fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and lean proteins.
- Get 8 hours of sleep every night.
- Find at least 15 minutes each day to practice yoga, take deep breaths, or meditate.
- Drink plenty of water, at least eight glasses a day, or even more when you sweat or exercise.
Step 3. Empower your mind
Challenge her to constantly learn new things. As your knowledge increases, you will become mentally stronger and wiser. Don't allow yourself to get stuck in monotony, neither mental nor physical. Try to always keep yourself curious, informed and aware.
- Read books and magazines, watch quality films, go to concerts or the theater, attend a ballet and be interested in some form of art.
- Become an artist yourself. Write, paint, compose music, sculpt, sew … anything that stimulates your creative side will do.
- Develop new skills. Expand your cooking knowledge, build some elements of your home yourself, grow a small vegetable garden on the terrace, learn to fish or aim to run for ten kilometers without stopping.
- Talk to people. Try to go beyond simple chatter. Engage in meaningful conversations, try to learn more about people's stories, and share your personal experiences.
Step 4. Develop your spiritual side
Many people gain strength by paying attention to their spiritual side. Connecting with a higher entity, whatever it is, can instill strength and value in the spirit. Research has shown that spirituality and prayer can relieve stress and reduce the time it takes to recover from illness. Spirituality can take many forms and it is important to find the one that suits you best: there is no "correct" way to be spiritual.
- Consider going to a place of worship with other people.
- Try practicing yoga or meditating.
- Spend some time outdoors to admire the wonders of the natural environment.
Method 3 of 4: Develop Your Mental and Emotional Strength
Step 1. Set reasonable goals and accomplish them
You can train your mental strength by setting yourself meaningful goals and making a commitment to achieve them gradually. Walking the path that will lead you to the goal requires commitment, the ability to overcome boredom or pain and a good dose of determination, necessary to not give up until the final goal. There are no shortcuts, just practice will make your job easier.
- If you have a very ambitious and seemingly unachievable goal, break it down into multiple more easily achievable sub-goals. For example, if you want to become more assertive, make the decision to "stand up for yourself" three times a week. You could start with easy situations, such as telling your partner that you want to choose the restaurant for dinner instead of leaving the decision up to them.
- Be rigorous. You decide that even if you take a misstep, you won't stop trying, whatever the ultimate goal: keeping your job, completing a project, managing your finances, or so on.
- Learn to see failure as an opportunity to learn something new. Failure simply means that you have a temporary stop and have a chance to discover something new.
Step 2. Learn to resist negativity
Negativity can enter our lives in many different ways, for example from ourselves, in the form of an internal dialogue or negative thoughts, or from the outside, through opinions or offenses pronounced by others. While it is impossible to completely remove it from your life, there are many ways to learn how to deal with negativity.
- Keep negative thoughts in check by learning to identify and challenge them. Learn more about the topic by reading this article.
- While trying to minimize contact with negative or toxic people, sometimes you may not be able to completely eliminate them from your life. The people in question could be members of your family, colleagues or acquaintances with whom you need to interact. Instead of letting their negativity permeate you, you can learn not to get involved and set boundaries between you and those people. This wikiHow article is a fantastic resource that can teach you how.
Step 3. Become mentally and emotionally strong through positive internal dialogue
Repeating positive affirmations daily can help you develop your mental and emotional strength. Take some time each day to look in the mirror and say self-encouraging phrases. You can choose to praise yourself for a quality you already possess or to focus on an aspect you would like to develop. Here are some examples of positive affirmations:
- "I'm working hard to get emotionally stronger and stronger."
- "I'm learning to manage stress better and be kinder to myself."
- "I know that by taking small daily steps towards my goal, I will feel emotionally and mentally stronger."
Step 4. Learn to stay calm when under pressure
When situations seem to escalate and you know you can lose your temper, instead of reacting impulsively try to remain calm to have more time to evaluate your options and find out which is the wisest choice to make.
- Mentally counting to 10 might seem trivial, but it really works. Before you react emotionally to an event, stop, take a deep breath, and think carefully.
- As it teaches you to analyze your thoughts and emotions more objectively, meditating can help you stay calm. Instead of reacting, you will be able to observe your feelings and say "I am feeling very frustrated right now" and then rationally decide what is best to do.
Step 5. Let go of little things
By showing yourself overly sensitive to the inevitable setbacks and daily squabbles, you will end up dedicating a good part of your time and energy to them every day. When you dwell on minor annoyances, turning them into real problems because of your attention, you not only increase your stress levels, but you also increase your risk of mortality. Learning to take a more constructive attitude, which allows you to overlook the small things, will help you to keep under control the levels of cortisol, the stress hormone, protecting you from any health disorders such as hypertension, heart disease, immune system weakened and high cholesterol.
- Instead of stressing yourself, get into the healthy habit of pausing to think about what is bothering you, then try to calm down and make the healthiest and most productive decision possible.
- For example, if your partner constantly forgets to close the toothpaste tube, understand that the reason is that they don't give them as much importance as you do. It is up to you to decide how to handle the situation, you can close it yourself and focus on the many other ways your partner contributes to the management of your home, or you can stick a nice post-it on the bathroom mirror, gently reminding him to close the toothpaste..
- Keep your perfectionism in check. Being a perfectionist can mean having too high - and often unrealistic - expectations about yourself and others, sometimes forgetting that many of the situations we experience every day are beyond our control.
- Try a visualization exercise to let go of the stress of small daily annoyances. Pick up a stone and imagine that it contains the source of your discomfort. Focus on that negative thing and clench your fist hard, then, when you feel ready, throw the rock away. Throw it away, into a field or a pond. As you do this, imagine throwing away all the negative feelings associated with that stone as well.
Step 6. Change perspective
If you tend to get trapped in your problems and worries, find ways to gain a different perspective on your life and your options. Anyone from time to time takes a dead end, but those who are mentally and emotionally strong are able to change course and find another way to reach the goal. If you are having a hard time getting some thoughts out of your head, try the following techniques:
- Read more. Books have the ability to transport you to new realities, and remind you that the world is a huge place where your problems are just a drop in the ocean.
- Volunteer. Interact with people who need your help. Studies have shown that volunteering brings a wide range of both physical and mental health benefits.
- Listen to a friend. Pay attention to the words of someone who may need your sincere advice. Put yourself in the other person's shoes and offer your most thoughtful and genuine opinion.
- Travel. Getting out of your comfort zone can be of great help and allow you to gain a different perspective on your situation. Visit a new place, even if it's a few miles away from your home.
Step 7. Have a positive attitude
Mentally and emotionally strong people tend to complain very rarely. While having to face the same challenges as anyone else, they are able to manage and put them in the right context. Being positive about what's good in your life, and the many possibilities that the future holds, will help you develop greater mental and emotional strength, useful for dealing with difficult situations. Studies have shown that a positive mental attitude can also benefit physical health.
- Enjoy the moments of happiness to the fullest. Try to be as aware as possible when spending happy moments in the company of friends, family, pets, etc.
- Always look for a positive side, even in difficult situations. Each experience allows us to learn something new.
Step 8. Be honest with yourself
The ability to face reality is one of the hallmarks of a mentally and emotionally strong person. If you want to overcome an obstacle, you have to approach it directly. By lying to yourself about what's really going on you will end up hurting yourself.
- If you have a tendency to run away from reality, for example, spending too much time in front of the TV trying to avoid problems, try to recognize and overcome this bad habit.
- Be honest with yourself about your weaknesses.
Method 4 of 4: Coping with Daily Difficulties
Step 1. Think before you act
When you are faced with a difficult situation, take your time to reflect before reacting or making a decision. In this way you will have the possibility to regain control of your emotions and to correctly weigh the options at your disposal, both fundamental factors, regardless of the current situation.
- If possible, take the time to evaluate the context by writing down your feelings. Do your best to try to identify at least one positive side, however small. Being able to change your perspective for a few moments could prove to be of great help.
- Remember to count to at least 10 before you say anything. Even if your girlfriend has just told you that your story is over, you can give yourself ten seconds to calm down before answering; in hindsight you will be glad you did.
Step 2. Examine all angles
After you have calmed down, before deciding what to do, think carefully about the current situation. What exactly happened? What are the roads you can take? There is always more than one way to deal with a problem.
Let's say a friend has proposed to you to participate in an illegal activity and you are unsure whether to remain faithful to the law or to your friendship. Consider the pros and cons of both behaviors. Can a person who pushes you to break the law call himself a true friend? Or maybe it is a law that seems to hinder the natural justice of things?
Step 3. Determine what is the right thing to do and then do it
Let yourself be guided by your conscience. Research has shown that people who base their decisions primarily on instinct tend to feel more satisfied than those who study each choice down to the smallest detail. Sometimes the solution will be very clear, but on other occasions it may be very difficult to understand what is the right thing to do. Don't let the situation get worse and get out of hand - make a decision and stick with it.
- Seek advice from people you trust. Asking the opinion of others when you are not sure what to do is completely acceptable. The important thing is not to be swayed into doing the wrong thing.
- Think about what one of the people you admire would do. It should be someone with their head on their shoulders, good-hearted and honest. How would it act in your place?
- Last but not least, you must take responsibility for your actions. Make the best decision possible, making sure it doesn't generate remorse or regret.
Step 4. Reflect on your experiences
After dealing with a complicated situation, evaluate what happened, the way you handled the circumstances and the result you achieved. Can you be proud of your behavior? Is there anything you could have done differently? Try to learn the most from every experience you have lived. Wisdom only develops through this type of practice. Instead of simply trying to forget and move on, examine what happened - so the next time you have to make a decision, you know what to do.
If things don't go as you planned, don't despair. Unfortunately, things do not always go as smoothly as we hope and we are not always able to obtain the desired results; it is a universal truth, which is valid for everyone, even for those who apparently have a perfect life
Advice
- Stay away from people who are disrespectful and who tend to make you feel weak.
- Try meditating to be able to stay calm and focused.
- Try to live as much as possible in the present moment, focusing less on things that bothered you in the past and worries about the future.
