We all know the stories about the infamous "friend zone". Many people before you have experienced unrequited love for a friend, and it has always been argued to determine whether friendship can coexist with attraction. Trying to seduce a friend isn't like flirting with someone you don't know; your success largely depends on the current status of your relationship. Conquering him will seem riskier than usual, because your actions can ruin your relationship. However, if you feel like there is something between you, step forward and you could start a wonderful love story.
Steps
Part 1 of 4: Preparing the Ground
Step 1. Start by behaving like a good friend
Make sure your friendship is great before moving on to the next level. A friend interprets your seduction attempts based on what he knows about you, rather than your actions. There are all kinds of friendships, but some tips are always valid.
- Talk to him regularly, even about this and that. You will let him know that you are interested in him and that you want to know all the details of his life.
- Make him feel good. We all have a tendency to hang out with the people we are best with. This applies both to romantic relationships and to those of friendship.
Step 2. Make sure the circumstances are right
Only come forward at the right time. If your friend just got some bad news and is looking for your support, seducing him is not a good idea. The same is true if, for whatever reason, the atmosphere between you is not the best. In these situations it is best to wait.
Don't wait too long. If you do, another person may step forward and win over your friend, ruining your chances of seducing him
Step 3. Spend a lot of time together
As a general rule, the more two people date, the more likely it is that a spark will arise between them. Before you try to explicitly seduce your friend, ask him to meet you more often and you'll get a pretty clear message. If you don't see each other frequently, invite him out. Even if you do business as a friend, you will maximize the chances of something happening.
Moments spent in the company of other people are fun, but they will rarely turn into special occasions. The time you spend alone is different, however, because you have decided to meet with the sole purpose of being together
Part 2 of 4: Seduce Your Friend
Step 1. Find a quiet time when you are together
You can't seduce him in a crowded area. To have intimacy, you need to be in a secluded place. You could wait for the end of a party, or an evening spent at home alone. A peaceful and private environment is important, because no external pressure will affect the outcome of your attempt. Even if he is willing to give in to your advances, he may react shyly knowing that his friends will witness the scene.
Step 2. Be gentle and playful
Even if your friend found you physically attractive, it would be very difficult for you to seduce him if you put him in a bad mood. Bring out your upbeat side. You can do this by trying to be pleasant around him. By maintaining a cheerful attitude, you will have the opportunity to flirt with him more explicitly. Successful attempts at seduction are almost always accompanied by irony.
Step 3. Express your attraction through physical contact
Contact is an important component of flirting, which allows you to overcome the barrier of friendship. If you want to be gentle, try hugging your friend and giving him short strokes on the arm. These are not very risky moves, but they will often give you valuable insights into how he might react to more daring gestures.
You can try discreet flirting if you want to leave open the possibility of backing out. It may help if you find that your feelings aren't reciprocated
Step 4. Look your friend in the eye
It is normal for two friends to look into each other's eyes when they talk, but usually prolonged eye contact suggests a deeper feeling. Studies have shown that staring into a person's eyes for a long time can cause intense emotions. Even if you already spend a lot of time with him, make sure you make eye contact when you seduce him.
Your friend's reaction to your looks can be positive or negative, depending on whether you find yourself attractive or not
Step 5. Insert seductive phrases into your conversations
If you already have a close relationship with the friend you want to seduce and he feels comfortable with you, you probably talk often. Starting from this foundation, you should start flirting in a playful way when talking. Try doing this with friendly teasing. Compliments are a more direct way to show your interest, especially if they emphasize qualities that are considered attractive.
Here's an example: "Your hair looks great today. It looks great on you."
Step 6. Evaluate your friend's reaction
Before you get to the big step, it's important that you think about how she reacted to your seduction attempts. If he smiled at you when you touched him or if he responded to your compliments with other compliments, he is probably inviting you to step forward. Conversely, if it seems uncomfortable to you, maybe you should take a step back.
Everyone's character is different. If you are friends with someone, you should have a general idea of how they behave around people they find attractive
Step 7. Make a bold gesture
Seduction involves a moment of truth. In most cases, this means a kiss, although sexual or romantic comments may suffice. If your friend has responded well to your advances, you can step forward. A kiss on the lips is an unequivocal gesture to make him understand that it is no longer enough for you to be just a friend. When you think the time is right, try your luck. Don't rush - you may feel very nervous, but you shouldn't rush this experience.
All bold gestures are inherently risky. Before you take the plunge, consider what your chances of success are
Step 8. Consider letting yourself be seduced
Courtship is strange, because in some cases it is not easy to tell who is seducing whom. In general, women have a tendency to take a more passive role in love, but in some cases they do so simply to push the man to come forward. If you feel your friend is attracted to you, he may be waiting for the right time to make his move. Try to let him know that the moment has come.
Part 3 of 4: Maintaining Friendship
Step 1. Accept the consequences
The outcome of an attempted seduction can be exceptional or very bad. Your friendship can turn into a one-night stand or even turn into a lasting relationship. On the contrary, in the event of bankruptcy, the situation can become very embarrassing and unpleasant. In that case, the best way to recover your relationship (if you want to try) is to talk openly about what happened. Explain how you feel and why you wanted to do what you did.
- It is usually best not to ask questions about the reasons for the rejection. Focusing on the unpleasant episode can lead to negative feelings for both of you.
- If the situation is irreparable, you have to accept it. Not always everything goes as you wish; this is especially true for romantic relationships.
Step 2. Talk about what happened
If your seduction attempt was unsuccessful, the situation has probably become awkward. It is best to take this opportunity to make your feelings clear. This can alleviate the impact the rejection has had on you and is a necessary step in maintaining the friendship. Speak honestly about your emotions. If he tries to be ironic, it's best to follow his example and leave the episode behind as quickly as possible. Otherwise, you can talk about what happened as good friends. Make sure you let him know that you care about him as a friend, despite your attraction to him.
You can start the conversation like this: "I know what you are thinking. Even if I am attracted to you, our friendship is very important to me. I hope you do not feel that I respect you less because of what has happened."
Step 3. Go ahead
After the seduction attempt, you have to take the next step. This is true whether you have been successful, whether you have decided to remain friends or your relationship is ruined. The outcomes are very different, but even in the worst case, remember that you don't benefit from suffering. In life it is very important to accept your decisions and learn from them. Even if you regret what you did, you should forgive yourself as soon as possible. After all, you took a risk and you should be proud of yourself.
- If your attempt was a real failure and your friendship ended because of you, fill the emotional void you feel with something new, original and lively. Keep busy. People heal faster from emotional pain by keeping busy. Don't take it personally. Leave the past behind and turn your frustrations into energies to improve your life.
- If your seduction attempt failed, but you remained friends, try to get back to normal. Strengthening your relationship will be easier if you talk about what happened right away. Accept that your physical attraction is not reciprocated, while the esteem is mutual.
- If you remain friends after his rejection, he may come to understand how much you appreciate him. If you let it go for now, there's a chance he'll change his mind in the future.
Part 4 of 4: Evaluating Your Options
Step 1. Consider your chances of success
If you know your friend well, by analyzing your relationship you will be able to understand if you have any chance of winning him. Do you often flirt during your meetings? Does he already have a girlfriend? Do you have the impression that you find yourself attractive? If you can't answer any of these questions the way you would like, it doesn't mean you're out of hope. However, you will have to play your cards right and maybe change your way of doing things, to meet his sentimental needs.
Having clear expectations is important to making your relationship work. Even if you successfully seduce your friend, things could get worse quickly if you don't know how to carry on the relationship
Step 2. Realize that your friend may already want to be seduced
Seduction is essentially a form of positive attention and everyone likes to feel wanted. This does not mean that it is assumed that he reacts well to your approach, but you should remember that he may have feelings for you that you have not noticed. If you step forward naturally and without being intrusive, your gesture will seem above all affectionate.
Step 3. Decide if the approach is worth trying
Contrary to what happens with strangers, seducing a friend is quite risky. For one thing, you could ruin your relationship. At worst, your breakup will negatively impact mutual friendships as well. At the same time, though, a strong enough relationship can survive a failed seduction attempt, as long as you honestly discuss what happened.
- Compare the possible consequences with the odds of success and decide which is the best choice.
- There is no simple answer to a question like this, but it is important that you accept your decision. While trying an approach may seem like the riskiest move, if you like your friend very much you may suffer even more by choosing to do nothing.
Step 4. Set your expectations
Even if you are successful, your wishes will not always be fulfilled. If you wanted a relationship but only managed to get a one night stand, it might not have been worth the risk. Similarly, think carefully about trying to spend a night of love with a friend, because what happens could cause him to become emotionally attached to you.
Step 5. Decide what you want from your friend
You can seduce him in many different ways. You may want to start a serious relationship, or become "friends with the bed".
If you're specifically looking for a bed friend relationship, try approaching an open-minded friend who feels comfortable with sex
Advice
- Don't forget to think about yourself. If you feel you can do something to make yourself more desirable, practice it to maximize your chances of success.
- Changing an element of your appearance to make your friend see you in a different light can make a big difference. A new haircut will change even old friends' perspectives.
Warnings
- Don't try to seduce a friend who is already in a relationship. This is truly immoral behavior. Your chances of success would be very low and your friendship would not survive.
- Don't befriend a guy with the hope that you will get together. Your relationship would be superficial and, as a result, the chances that something will arise between you will be very low.
