It doesn't matter if you are older or younger or if you still live under the same roof, but being a good sister requires tolerance, patience and a great desire to be together. It is important to cultivate a good relationship if you wish to reach out to your brothers and / or sisters throughout your life and count on their help through thick and thin. Being a good sister means setting a good example, demonstrating the importance of the relationship, and letting them know how much they matter to you.
Steps
Method 1 of 4: Be Thoughtful
Step 1. Remember birthdays and special occasions
This way, you will be able to demonstrate easily and thoughtfully how important your brothers and / or sisters are to you. There is no need to give expensive gifts: just buy some little gifts or make something by hand. After all, regardless of cliché, it's the thought that matters.
Try choosing a gift that means something to your brother or sister. For example, if you play a sport, think about something related. Or, if he has to take a question, consider taking the time to help him / her study to get a good grade
Step 2. Help your brothers and / or sisters with their homework or other activities
Your brother or sister could benefit from your knowledge of homework or other activities. Of course, don't put your knowledge totally at their service (i.e., don't suggest all the answers). Rather, it teaches them to think for themselves to solve a problem and find a solution.
- Explain the facts clearly. Practicing with your brothers and / or sisters will help you in the future when dealing with other people, from your co-workers to your children.
- Encourage them to ask for help. This is another important life lesson: don't be ashamed to ask for help.
- If you don't know something, admit it. It's good to admit that you don't know something and to find someone who can explain it to you.
Method 2 of 4: Spending Time Together
Step 1. Attend extracurricular activities with your brothers and / or sisters
Decide together what you both like to do (games, sporting events, concerts or other similar activities) and participate together. Strengthen your relationship with something you have in common.
Step 2. Try to find simple but meaningful activities that you can do together frequently
It is in the simple activities of daily life that we constantly build and strengthen our relationships. If you take the time to listen to how your brother or sister spent the day, or if you take a walk together after dinner, it means that you are working hard to keep in touch and keep up to date with what is going on with them. head.
Step 3. Plan trips with your brothers and / or sisters
If you don't live together, stay in touch by scheduling regular meetings. Regularity depends on the distance and cost of travel, but try to meet just enough so as not to forget each other.
- Make sure you let them know that they are always welcome in your home, whenever they want.
- Even if you can't see each other, do your best to have a conversation on the phone at least once a week. Losing contact for too long can loosen relationships.
Method 3 of 4: Keep the Peace
Step 1. Be kind when interacting with your brothers and / or sisters
Shouting, yelling, and moaning may work in the moment but these are ineffective and inadequate methods of communicating. In the long run, the more you rely on such behaviors, the less they will listen to you and the greater the risk of having a quarrelsome relationship. Instead of yelling and complaining, find calm, constructive ways of saying what you think and get them to listen to your point:
- Talk calmly and look at events objectively.
- If you get too hot, take a break and try to come back to yourself.
- If you feel that you have lost control while relating to your brothers and / or sisters, look inside yourself first. Sometimes, getting angry with others comes from the feeling that you don't have control over them, even if in reality there is no need for others to recognize your worth or for you to have control over others. Set boundaries rather than get angry.
Step 2. Discuss sharing things and what is forbidden before problems arise
For example, if you are the only person in the family who owns a certain electronic device that everyone wants to use, you are already aware that perhaps they will borrow it without asking your permission. Instead of waiting for the opportunity to occur, make it clear that they have to ask you, tell them when it's possible to use it or if you don't want them to use it at all. Don't wait for the inevitable to happen.
If you've already established general rules, sticking to the facts and reiterating what you've already made clear about what can and cannot be done would make it much easier
Step 3. Establish a ban on provoking your brothers and / or sisters
Provoking corrodes close bonds. Even if you think you're funny or are trying to cheer up your brother or sister, this can often be seen as mean, threatening, and haughty. By refraining from provoking them, they will appreciate that what you say is what you really think and that even when you joke, you are a sincere person.
Step 4. Learn to compromise
If you don't have the same musical tastes, for example, you will have to alternate. Don't monopolize the stereo.
Compromising is an exercise that affects everyone. Being a good sister does not mean succumbing! In compromise you give up something but gain something else. For example, if you both like to be in the bathroom for at least twenty minutes, but your brother or sister needs the bathroom at the same time you do, split the time in two rather than postponing your twenty minutes
Step 5. Give space to your brothers and / or sisters
It's great to spend time together, but it's also great to spend it separately. If you stand on your brother or sister and make them your whole world, it would be oppressive and they may soon find excuses to do things without you. The same is true for them.
Step 6. Stop being authoritarian
It may come naturally to you to be bossy towards your brother or sister, regardless of your age and their age, but that certainly doesn't help. Try to understand the difference between being a teacher and instructor and getting too involved in other people's affairs. If your brothers and / or sisters feel too oppressed by your authority, you will find yourself sidelined and kept out of the fun for fear that you might dampen their enthusiasm.
Make them understand things for themselves. Learn to step back and observe from afar, giving your advice only when asked. Making mistakes, as long as they don't put your life at risk, is part of the learning and growing process
Step 7. Moderate competitiveness
Sibling rivalry might seem natural, but there is no need to turn everything into a competition where you always win. Bring more sharing and cooperation in your relationship with your brothers and / or sisters and set a good example for them.
Some fear being crushed by others if they don't behave competitively. This is something you can handle with resolve rather than competitiveness. Quietly explain what the limits are, let your brothers and / or sisters know that if they cross them there will be no tolerance for this disrespectful act and make it clear that at the moment they enjoy all your tolerance
Method 4 of 4: Keep Morale High
Step 1. Help your brothers and / or sisters build self-confidence by showing them your appreciation for the work they have done
Don't stop noticing the good things they do and be ready to encourage their commitment with words of approval.
Try to help them see what's wrong as well. You will be much more considerate if you point out things that need to change rather than letting them keep doing something that will never work
Step 2. Be available for dialogue if they need to talk
In the events of life, having a brother or sister from whom to receive explanations is a precious resource that not everyone is lucky enough to have. Make sure you build this type of relationship with your brother or sister by setting an example yourself: try to share thoughts with them and listen to what they want to share with you. Being a sister you can confide in will increase their confidence in you and they will feel free to share their innermost thoughts with you.
Always keep the secrets that your brothers and / or sisters have revealed to you. The only exception is when there is a possibility that someone is in danger if we keep it a secret
Step 3. Support your brothers and / or sisters
If your brother or sister is having trouble with someone, try to find out how you can help them. You could speak politely to someone who is bullying towards your brother or sister. Or, you could explain to this person that there are more urgent family commitments that they need to make. Of course, don't fight the battles for them and don't make things worse, but try to let them know that you are on their side and willing to help them as much as you can.
Advice
- Do not compare yourself to your brothers and / or sisters: it is a form of competitiveness in which you will never win and you will always feel inferior. You are different and it is better to go your own way than to try to imitate the other person.
- If you are older and they let you down, try to remember how you were at their age, what you thought and how you behaved and what would make you feel good.
- Everyone has their own opinions, but don't take it personally if others don't think like you. Everyone sees the world in their own way and decides what their priorities are. The sooner you learn to balance your priorities with those of others, the better it will be for you. Always remind yourself that you don't have to adopt any other person's point of view, but listen to them in a way that gives them the respect they deserve.
- Moderate the sarcasm. It is wrong to confuse sarcasm with intelligence - sarcasm is a way of rejecting the other person and treating their feelings as something that doesn't matter. It is also a way to feel superior. None of this will win you the Sister of the Year award. If you find yourself wanting to answer sarcastically, remind yourself to listen instead and open your mind. It is more effective to ask a question to understand why your brother or sister thinks or does something that you find ridiculous and incomprehensible than to dismiss their intentions in a mean way.
- Always be nice to them.
- Try as hard as possible to understand them. If you are younger, always be loyal and obedient.
Warnings
- Don't treat your brothers and / or sisters as if they were invisible. If they bother you, ask them to give you some space but be sure to spend time with them afterwards to make up for it.
- Don't lie to your brothers and / or sisters or tell lies about them. If you do, they'll soon return the favor.
- Don't treat them like you are better than them. If you show superiority, they will despise you at some point.
- Don't change habits in your favor when they are involved too. Changes of this kind require confrontation and compromise.
