Infidelity in a serious relationship is a serious breach of trust. Regardless of whether you may believe you can get away with it, just being tempted to cheat on your partner should make you think about your desire to maintain a relationship with him. Perhaps you are no longer in love or perhaps this is not the time for you to maintain a monogamous relationship; in all cases, the best thing to do is to end the relationship before cheating on the other person. However, if you have decided to break the relationship of trust, there are some things you need to take into consideration, both to keep your partner in the dark about your activities and to put him off the track in case he becomes suspicious.
Steps
Part 1 of 2: Keeping the Partner in the Dark
Step 1. Think carefully before cheating on your partner
People have many reasons for doing this: sometimes it's an angry reaction, other times they do it because they feel trapped in a relationship they don't feel ready for or that is becoming dull and dull; some instead betray to vent frustrations completely unrelated to the love relationship. In any case, the consequences are very negative.
- You may think you are not caught and get away with it; even if this were to happen, studies have shown that cheating partners feel a heightened sense of guilt and shame for their actions.
- Although many couples can work on their relationship when infidelity is discovered, many relationships dissolve due to a lack of trust.
- More importantly, consider the suffering you will inflict on your partner should they find you. If you don't want to accept your responsibility for his pain, then don't stick with your plans.
- The person who is betrayed often drags into future relationships the repercussions of the breach of trust that he has experienced, until he is unable to be happy even after the trauma has been overcome.
- If your actions come to light, you will most likely lose the respect of your friends and family. This would be a very painful situation to endure. Try to live up to the expectations that your community has towards you.
- If your relationship with your partner makes you really unhappy, then you should talk openly with your partner and decide, together, whether to work hard to improve the situation or to leave each other and be free to date new people.
- However, if you are firm in your intent of betrayal, then you should consider the following aspects.
Step 2. Create a separate email address
One of the simplest ways to be discovered is to leave evidence in easily accessible places.
- Create a new e-mail account that you will only use to communicate with the lover or lovers. Don't tell anyone about it and don't use it for any purpose other than betrayal.
- If you use this mailbox to receive updates from various online sites or for spam messages, then you will perceive it as a normal alternate address. Instead it is recommended that there is some feeling of anxiety related to this email.
- By doing so, you will remember, every time, to log out of the account at the end of use.
- Communicate with your lover only through this account and not through your usual e-mail address.
- Do not log out of the official account from your computer as you usually would; in this way, if your partner became suspicious and checked, they would find nothing but your regular mail.
Step 3. Clear your internet browser history but only partially
Whenever you are online to manage your unofficial relationships, at the end of browsing take a few minutes to clear all the history relating to the sites you used for that purpose. This step is very important, much more than a fake email address; remember to delete the history when you search for the restaurant where you will have lunch with your lover, the directions to reach the meeting place and the hotel booking site.
- Do not delete the entire browser history, as it could raise suspicions. Nobody in the world systematically deletes their internet browsing history.
- On the contrary, access the history of the sites visited and delete them manually as soon as you are finished using them.
Step 4. Use the "incognito" mode on your browser
The best way to make sure you don't accidentally leave evidence is to use the "incognito" feature whenever you engage in cheating-related online activities and don't want to get caught.
- If you are using a popular browser to browse online, surely this mode is available. Safari, Chrome, Firefox, Opera and Explorer all provide incognito browsing, thanks to which you will not leave any traces in the history.
- Remember that this does not mean that you will be completely anonymous during online transactions. Websites know the IP address of their visitors. For this reason you will see specific ads generated by your "private" online session.
- To prevent these advertisements from betraying you, remember to close all pages open incognito once you have finished using them. In this way you delete the cookies that could generate suspicious ads.
Step 5. Lock your mobile
If your phone has a lock code that your partner doesn't know, then that's okay. However, if your mobile phone is not locked or the person you have a relationship with knows the code, then you will need to secure the device.
- Come up with a plausible explanation for the fact that you have to suddenly lock your cell phone. For example, you could say that someone accessed your device and found your private photos or that they sent all your contacts text messages.
- If your partner is used to knowing your cell phone passwords, they will be very suspicious of your sudden need for privacy. In this case, do not change the codes and try not to use your mobile phone for your hidden activities.
- If you need to communicate with your lover by phone, then use incognito browsing and enter the credentials of your "private" email account. At the end remember to disconnect the session, close the navigation window and delete the cookies.
Step 6. Try to minimize cell phone use
If your partner notices a sudden increase in telephone conversations or the number of text messages to a certain number, they may become suspicious. Keep calls short and rely on text messages only when needed. Most communications should take place via the private e-mail account.
Step 7. Purchase a prepaid SIM
This way you can communicate with your lover freely without worrying about the monthly bill. However, this ploy puts you at great risk because, if you get caught with a second secret number, your partner, as much as he may believe in you, will ask himself questions.
- If you have decided to use a prepaid SIM, be careful not to get caught.
- Find a good excuse to say in case your partner finds out the second cell phone number. For example, you might say it's the phone your colleague left at the office and you forgot to bring it back on your way home.
Step 8. Don't use credit cards when making suspicious purchases
Any abnormal payments, such as out-of-town purchases or hotel bill payments, will be widely visible on the monthly statement. Rather high expenses, such as dinners for two in a nice restaurant, will attract attention. When you want to make a purchase without getting caught, use cash and make sure there is no series of receipts leading to your "private" business.
Step 9. Purchase contraceptives separately
There is no valid reason why, within a monogamous couple, the monthly amount of condoms or other contraceptives fluctuates unexpectedly. Any extra or missing condoms in the bathroom cabinet are an alarm bell. All contraceptives you use outside of the official relationship must be kept separate and hidden.
- When you are with your lover, get other contraceptives.
- Buy packs with a few pieces, even better if you only find single condoms instead of large “family” packs. That way you won't be caught with an unexplained amount of condoms in your car.
- Throw away any contraceptives you didn't use before returning home instead of keeping them.
Part 2 of 2: Diverting Suspicions
Step 1. Instead of making a scene, laugh when your partner talks to you about his suspicions
If you get angry, you show the person a negative reaction to their accusations instead of pointing out your disorientation. Anger quickly turns into a fight and this remains etched in the mind. You have to prevent the conversation from settling in your partner's head and leaving him with a negative memory and the best way to achieve this is to avoid turning on the tones.
- Don't laugh meanly and don't ridicule your partner for his or her suspicions.
- You simply react with surprise or disorientation to his words as if the thought had never crossed your mind and as if you had never noticed that you were behaving strangely.
Step 2. Talk to your partner about their suspicions
After a first light reaction, you must not avoid the conversation, since you could give the impression that you do not take the other person's feelings seriously. Resentment can also linger on your partner's mind and wear them down slowly, so you have to face it head on.
- Admit that you are sorry for how much the person is feeling and that you weren't aware of making the relationship insecure.
- Let your partner express his concerns and try to be a good listener, don't interrupt him or get defensive.
- Make a mental note of his specific suspicions, as this will help you understand what mistakes you are making.
Step 3. Promise to make an effort to work through these trust issues
A good person should feel bad about making your partner worry, so reassure him by saying that even if there is nothing he should worry about, you will make an effort to be more attentive and thoughtful.
Step 4. Change some of your suspicious behaviors
If you allow your partner to speak honestly, they may make a list of their specific concerns and alarming attitudes. However, if you suddenly change your lifestyle, you will only feed the seed of suspicion even more. If, on the other hand, you have an open conversation during which you promise to make corrections, then these changes will be interpreted as an attempt to improve your relationship.
- Over-engaging with yourself and completely changing your attitude might seem like an overreaction or it might make you think you have a guilty conscience. Do not make extreme changes.
- Just make small changes to show that you are committed to maintaining a relationship of trust.
Step 5. End the clandestine relationship or put a stop to it
If your partner has become too suspicious or is discovering the truth, then it may be time to close contact with your lover or at least take a break until things have calmed down. Remember that even after a conversation about your partner's fears and even after you promise to work on the relationship to build trust, your partner will still be on the alert. Don't take unnecessary risks.
Advice
In the end, the best thing not to get caught is not to betray. Keep this concept in mind to make better choices and establish only casual relationships of a sexual nature without any commitment or to clarify, from the start, that a monogamous relationship is not for you
Warnings
- Cheating could be emotionally devastating to your partner if he or she finds out about you. You definitely don't hate your partner, so take their feelings into consideration and consider ending the relationship if you're unhappy instead of lying.
- Infidelity often destroys relationships. If you want to be with someone, don't betray them.
- The repercussions of your actions could follow your partner in their future relationships. Don't destroy his ability to trust someone else. It's easier to get over the breakup than a betrayal.
- If you decide to stay together even after your betrayal is discovered, you will have to work hard to regain trust. The relationship will never be the same again.
