You saw your man or woman cheating on you. Or you have read an unambiguous text message or e-mail. No matter how you found out, you are probably now filled with anger and pain. There is nothing more devastating and shocking than finding out that you have been cheated on by your partner, but you can get over it. Seeking the support of friends, making sure to regain lost self-esteem and deciding whether to end the relationship are the key steps to move forward.
Steps
Step 1. You must follow one or more of these steps as soon as possible to overcome the initial blow to your self-esteem, regardless of whether you want to continue the story or not
Step 2. Consider a visit to an analyst
If you're really sick, talking to an expert could help you deal with the traitor.
Step 3. Seek support from friends and family
They can share their experiences and advice and help you move forward.
Step 4. Discuss the reason for the betrayal with your partner
Tell him how you feel. Try to understand the reason for the gesture and don't start arguing right away before listening to it.
Step 5. Decide if you want to continue the story
Are you ready to believe this person again? Remember that a healthy relationship is built on trust first and foremost. Take a few days to make up your mind.
Step 6. If you decide to leave him, do so by trying to maintain a civil relationship and avoiding scenes
An argument would only make things more difficult and unpleasant for both of you.
Step 7. If you decide to stay together, make sure he can't cheat on you again
Make it clear that further betrayal will not be accepted.
Step 8. Understand that there is no excuse for this gesture, it is not your fault and it is just an act of selfishness on the part of the person who does it
Advice
- Learn to respect yourself and understand what you are worth. Maybe you have fears of being alone and are too dependent on your partner. Do something good for yourself and your self-esteem: start going to the gym, pursue a new hobby, free yourself from all the pressures that used to hold you back. When everything is finished you will feel like new, you will have more confidence in yourself and you will be able to move on without problems.
- If this is the second, third or fourth time that this person cheats on you, leave them permanently. Some people don't respect limits and will continue to do so. Others may have a sex addiction, which is considered as serious as heroin or alcohol addiction. Suggest a consultation with a psychologist, it could be really helpful.
- Keep calm. If you start to lose your temper, try to keep busy and not think about it. Listen to music, meditate, read, watch TV, or do whatever distracts you for a while. Don't do things you used to do with your partner, like listening to a certain band, or you'll feel even sadder.
- Do not contact "the lover". The traitor will surely get angry and your relationship will be irreversibly ruined.
