Do you think your parents are a little more strict than your friends' parents? What should you do if you want to take a break and go out alone, but they won't let you? How should you go about convincing them without arguing and risking punishment? What should you be aware of? What are the dos and don'ts? It might seem unfair, but imagine that you are a parent who takes care of his beloved children. What may seem like unfair decisions probably only depend on your parents' legitimate fears, after all we live in a world that can sometimes seem dangerous.
Steps
Step 1. Consider your parents' point of view
Let's face it, parents can get really boring sometimes, especially when you want something. Going on vacation with friends is probably one of the most frequent causes of quarrels between parents and children. Because? Reflect:
- Most parents are concerned about the well-being and safety of their children.
- Parents want their children to lead a happy life and have a bright future.
- Most parents don't want to accept that their children grow up.
- They have a responsibility to safeguard your safety. They do it for your good.
Step 2. Earn their trust
If you feel like your parents don't trust you, evaluate your behavior. The less sincere you are, the less they will trust. If the reason you want to go out without your parents is to be risky, take a step back and think about their concerns. After all, they are the ones who may have to get you out of an awkward situation. Try to have a sincere relationship with your parents and they will give you more freedom.
Step 3. Behave like a mature person
If you act like a 5 year old all the time, you won't look adult enough in their eyes. If you behave in an age-appropriate manner, you will appear more mature, responsible, and trustworthy. Another way to get them to let you out with friends is to make them feel guilty - tell them that all your friends are going out alone and that you feel outcast, if that's the case.
Try to show them that you are responsible, offer to take care of your little brother or take out the trash more often and you will see that they will have a different reaction
Step 4. Think about the relationship with your parents
Did you cross the line the last time you went out? If so, it would be wise to apologize for the inconvenience and demonstrate a different attitude. You have to earn their trust. Always try to stick to their directions; it might mean leaving a party in the middle of the fun or ditching your friends at the mall, but that way you'll earn their trust.
Step 5. Find the right time to ask
You have probably lived with your parents since you were born, you know their habits, so use them to your advantage. You know your mom is cranky after work, so what about dinner time? Will your father listen to you when he has to do some work at home? The point is not to use their 'worst moments' to your advantage - although it may work - it is to make sure they are well informed about your schedules.
Pick a time when you can talk about it in depth and answer their questions. Will they be able to reach you in an emergency? If not you, who else can they contact to find you? How far from home will you go? What do you know about where you intend to go? Asking them at the right time allows them to evaluate your decision with a fresh mind; anger or exhaustion from a discussion in the office will not help you achieve your goal
Step 6. Provide the details
Why do you have to go there? When do you plan to leave? With whom? Until? How will you go there? Who organized the tour? Because? Why should you go there? By providing these details, you will confirm to your parents that you are well organized and have good intentions. These questions may even be more than they ask - or not - the point is to do your homework before tackling it. And speaking of homework, what do you need to do before going out? Housework? Commissions? Are there any alternatives to the trip? Present all information clearly and be prepared to be honest if you have any questions from them.
Step 7. Be very careful how you say it
'But mom, everyone will go!', 'You have to let me go, dad! You must! ', These requests put pressure on the parents, but they do not provide justifications, they simply say that you must go, but they do not explain the reason; the parent wants to know why. If you just keep whimpering, you're just being stubborn and appear to have no good reason to go on a trip; when you use logic and not emotion, you are reasonable and mature - that's what parents want to see.
Choose your words carefully, but don't repeat them slavishly as in a play. Based on facts. Even be honest about those things they may not like
Step 8. Give them some time
If they tell you they need time to think about it, let them think, don't be too pushy
Step 9. Listen to their motives
- Although when confronting your parents, you will need to talk about your problem, don't forget the importance of listening. Avoid showing disappointment. Most of the time listening is a sign of respect, even when the answer is a sharp 'no'. The point is not necessarily to go on this tour; there will be others.
- Handle the issue well and the task will be made easier on future occasions. Listen to what they tell you; what do they dislike about travel? Because? What would they like to be different to let you go? What do they think you should improve in this regard? What they think you need to understand their thoughts on the present and future trips. If you don't understand their messages, you will only remember that they said no, not because; it is important to remember why they said no, so as not to miss the next opportunity.
Step 10. Don't get emotional if they say no
Keep calm and act like a mature person - even if it's not easy. Evaluate their position and assure them that you will work on their suggestions.
Step 11. Realize that your parents have reasons not to let you go, and try to find a meeting point with them
Try to look at things from their perspective. If you say you can understand why they might not want you to go, they may let you go because you are mature enough not to think only of yourself
Step 12. Write a program
- Plan where you will go, what time you will feel with them, and any other aspects. Parents appreciate when you put everything in writing, it shows that you are responsible. Make sure you stick to the program if they give you their consent!
- If they tell you no, it's really a no.
Step 13. Don't press
- It is not worth it, you will have many more opportunities when you are older.
- Don't just think about yourself. Ask yourself these questions, "What would my parents feel if I were out?" or "What will happen if I don't go home? Would there be peace and harmony?"
- Remember not to constantly bother them about the matter. It would be a sign of immaturity and you would become boring, not getting the answer you are looking for.
Step 14. Be responsible
If they let you go, come back at the appointed time and keep all your promises. If you can't get home on time, call your parents and explain the reason for the delay. Never ignore them, otherwise you run the risk that they will never allow you to leave the house again.
If they let you go out, behave yourself otherwise you will lose their confidence for a long time. Remember, the stakes are high. Don't screw it up with some stupid bitches
Advice
- The number one tip for this situation is not to beg. Parents hate being begged and if you do, they will surely never say yes to you.
- Never sulk, you will irritate them.
- If necessary, see if any friend's parents let him go and get the adults to talk to each other.
- If you have tried to convince them in every way, without succeeding in your intent, forget it. Help them with the housework and stop complaining, maybe they'll let you go next time.
- Provide good reasons why you want to do what you want to do.
- Don't be too nagging.
- Offer to give up something in exchange for the trip. It will probably work and maybe you will get what you wanted to give up too.
- Don't bother them.
- Help out around the house. Pimping a little bit might seem unpleasant, but it might help in your case.
- If your parents have a valid reason not to send you, think about it and you may even have a better relationship. If they're right, just comply and you could avoid a serious fight.
- Make sure the tour and the program are reasonable.
- Even if they say no, relax and accept the rejection this time - you will prove that you are mature and trustworthy.
- Be prepared to compromise with them.
- Show that you are responsible enough.
- Make your parents trust you. Take care of a pet, come home before curfew and make them happy.
- Don't be arrogant. If they tell you "It's dangerous" don't just say "it's not", rather explain "I understand it's dangerous but there is a risk in everything and this isn't all that risky."
- Don't get too excited about the preparations, despite the suggestions given, they might think something is brewing. Once you cross the line between strict parents and untrusting parents, anything fun becomes difficult.
- Get help from other family and friends.
- If your parents won't let you go, ask them why. Don't do this to blame them, but if they don't trust you for this outing, you can change anything that didn't make them let you go. After that, the next time an opportunity like this presents itself, your parents will have noticed the change and will most likely let you go.
- Make sure they know they can trust you.
- Evaluate your behavior. Do you whimper or complain when things go wrong? Do you try to deal with them to get what you want? If so, try to be confident, but humble. This will help them see that you are ready to go out on your own.
- Get them to believe that you are responsible enough to go out on your own. Resign yourself if you have to. Do the chores without being asked.
Warnings
- If you are planning on going out with friends, don't tell them you will go until you have permission. Otherwise you would be forced to tell them the truth which is even more embarrassing than having to say you can't go there.
- Don't try to get out of it by lying. If they find out that you lied, you could run into serious trouble and completely lose their trust.
- It is useless to ask if you never do your homework, don't commit to school, and never help out around the house. If you are not responsible, you will not gain their trust.
- Never try to blame your parents. It would lead them to think that you want to manipulate them and trick them into getting what you want, and no one trusts a manipulator.
- Don't insist so much that it becomes annoying. Your parents would get bored and tell you no.
- If your parents are okay with letting you go, be sure to thank them (in exchange for everything they do for you, remember they just want you to behave yourself).
- Try not to ask your parents for money / favors before you go out. Make sure you're super nice to your parents the week before you want to go out.
- This article is primarily aimed at teenagers whose parents are not overprotective. Unfortunately, in today's world, many parents have become and therefore rarely offer the opportunity to have new experiences - it will certainly be more difficult to convince them to let you go alone. This is not always the case; many teenagers have parents who are less protective, sometimes (sadly) even negligent. But if your parents are overprotective, they will probably be too busy controlling you to realize that you are a smart kid who wants to be independent and have new experiences. Therefore, you should know that not all parents will allow you to go - there are no general rules.
- Many messages suggest that you ruffle them a bit before asking them if you can go out on your own. This system doesn't always work. Some parents will accept this and be more likely to say yes, but many will notice your attitude and consider it a petty trick (this will have the opposite effect and they may say no). You know your parents - think about it.
