You can be marginalized at school, at work, or even by people you thought were your friends. Man is a social animal, so feeling excluded is an unpleasant experience. You may be sad, confused, or even angry, but these feelings will pass. In this article, you will find tips for dealing with your emotions, reacting to the situation and overcoming the problem.
Steps
Method 1 of 3: Manage Your Emotions
Step 1. Consider the possibility that this was a mistake
One is not always purposely excluded. Sometimes it can happen by accident and it might not be a bad thing to you.
For example, you may have been banned for a simple communication problem, such as a lost letter or unsent text message. Or you may have been forgotten by the person who prepared the invitations, who now feels mortified for not contacting you
Step 2. Acknowledge your emotions
Marginalization can cause you to have many different negative feelings. For example, you may feel sad at first, only to become angry and jealous. These are normal emotions, but they will pass. Instead of denying these feelings, give yourself some time to process them.
Step 3. Tell someone how you feel
It may be helpful for you to share your feelings with a loved one. Try talking to a parent, a good friend, or someone you can trust. Explain what happened and truthfully reveal how you felt.
- The person you will confide in may tell you about a similar experience of being marginalized, and may give you advice on how to cope with your situation.
- If marginalization is a constant problem for you or if it causes you emotional trauma, you can speak to a mental health professional. If you are still in school, see your school psychologist. If, on the other hand, you are no longer in school, you can find a therapist.
Step 4. Put your emotions in black and white
Writing a journal can give you many physical and emotional benefits. It can help you understand your feelings better, reduce stress, and solve your problems more effectively.
To follow this advice, get a diary or notebook in which to write down your experiences for a few minutes each day. In your first story you can describe how you were excluded. Explain what happened and what you felt
Method 2 of 3: React to Exclusion
Step 1. Try to put yourself in the shoes of the people who have excluded you
While being cut out can hurt you, it may be helpful to consider the reasons behind your exclusion. Their decision probably stems from their insecurities and personalities more than your shortcomings.
- People who purposely exclude others often have insecurities and prejudices that limit their ability to interact kindly with others.
- Those who exclude others want to be in control and could marginalize you because they see you as a threat to their dominance.
Step 2. Re-formulate negative thoughts
When something unpleasant occurs, such as being excluded, negative thinking is a common reaction. However, you have the opportunity to question and rework your emotions, in order to feel better.
For example, after being banned, you may find yourself thinking, "Nobody likes me!" Of course, this thinking is not realistic. This is an exaggerated reaction. Rephrase your opinion like this: "I'm a good person and a good friend. People who are really important in my life enjoy spending time with me."
Step 3. In front of people who have marginalized you, act as if you are not upset
If the exclusion was intentional, it is best to avoid showing your emotions to those responsible. Bullies often use marginalization to irritate their victims, so even if you feel deeply hurt by being left out, try not to show it. You would give it to the bully. Instead, try to show indifference to what happened.
For example, if you weren't invited to a party or other social event over the weekend, try telling someone what fun you did with your family. To those who talk about the party, reply with "You seem to have had a good time. How nice! I didn't know there was a party, but I had other plans anyway. What else did you do this weekend?"
Step 4. Consider asking what happened
If you think you have been banned by mistake or if you can't understand the reason for what happened, you may want to consider talking to those responsible. You may find that it was an unintentional mistake, or you will have the opportunity to explain to your interlocutors why they did not behave well.
- If you think it was a mistake, you can say, "I think there was a mistake with your birthday invitations. I didn't get it."
- If you think you've been banned on purpose, try saying, "I noticed you didn't invite me to your party. You are the host, so you have every right to invite whoever you want, but I'm curious to understand why I'm not. been invited ".
Method 3 of 3: Move on
Step 1. Forgive the people who have excluded you
Forgiveness serves yourself more than other people. It is not good for your health to harbor resentment towards those who have hurt you. Conversely, forgiveness allows you to be happier and feel better, even if the person who hurt you did not apologize to you.
Try writing a letter that you won't send to the person who marginalized you. In the letter, describe how you felt following the exclusion and explain that you want to forgive the person responsible for your own good
Step 2. Try to feel part of a group
If a group of people regularly exclude you, it's time to make new friends. True friends would never make you feel outcast. Find people who appreciate you for your personality and who don't try to hurt your feelings.
Try joining an association or team to meet people who share your interests
Step 3. Invite people to do activities with you
To avoid being left out, take the initiative and invite your friends to go to the mall or cinema on weekends. Alternatively, throw a party and invite all your friends, even those who have banned you in the past.
Step 4. Enjoy alone time
Being excluded is bad for you, but in some cases having time to be alone is a luxury, so try to exploit the situation. If you've been marginalized and have nothing to do, try doing your favorite activities on your own.
