It's not always easy to get your parents to let you throw a sleepover, especially if they're particularly protective. Naturally, they worry when you invite friends over to sleep with you. Not only will they have to clean everything up, you will bring into the house some people who may not know very well. If you want to persuade them, the best thing you can do is show that you are responsible and that there is nothing to worry about. Read on to learn how to make yourself say yes.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Asking Correctly
Step 1. Ask him when I'm in a good mood
If you have to ask your parents something, timing is everything. Your mom or dad will be more likely to say yes while relaxing in her chair on a Sunday afternoon than when she comes home from work after a stressful day or has been in the kitchen cleaning all day. Look for a time when they will be quiet (without a million-to-do list) and generally satisfied with your behavior. While it's impossible to know exactly what's on their mind, you can observe them for a few minutes and get an idea of how they'll take your proposition.
While you don't know exactly what their concerns are, you should avoid asking them just before your grandparents leave your house, while cleaning the house, or generally when they seem too tired to really pay attention to you. Sure, you can't wait forever to ask him, but it's best to be patient until the right time, unless you're really in a hurry
Step 2. Ask to organize the sleepover at the right time
Another factor to consider is the night you actually want to do it. Don't ask to invite your friends on the night before your grandmother's visit or when you know your parents will be spring cleaning. Pick a day when they won't have much to do around the house and won't have too many worries. The more successful the moment, the more likely they are to say yes. You should also choose a night where you can stay up relatively late so they can't hinder you with excuses like "The next day you'll have your math test / practice / dance essay."
You may want to organize the sleepover right after you ask, but it's important to think about it at least a few weeks in advance to improve your chances
Step 3. Be polite and don't demand anything
When you go to your parents' to ask for something, whether it's a video game you absolutely want or a ride to the movies, the tone you take is everything. If you approach them and your behavior conveys the wrong idea (“I'm going to have this sleepover and you're crazy if you think you can stop me”), then they'll tell you no before you even open your mouth. Instead, be kind and understanding, let them think they have the power in their hands. This will make them much more inclined to say yes to you.
It can be difficult to remember to respect your parents when you absolutely want them to give you what you want, but you should always do it. After all, they are the ones who make the house rules, and if they are reasonable, you should avoid complaining or being obnoxious if you want to achieve something, because otherwise it will only make it worse
Step 4. Make the first sleepover easy
If you've never organized one before, it's not a good idea to invite all your classmates to a “Twilight” saga night. Instead, call two or three friends at the most, and don't anticipate any special themes or requests for processed foods. If your parents allow you to have a fun and simple sleepover, then they may be more willing to let you have more in the future. Either way, you should avoid sticking with complicated requests, as it will be harder to get a yes.
Step 5. Offer to do something nice to reciprocate
Maybe you expect your parents to say yes and give you exactly what you want. However, you should think about it a little more and understand that they would appreciate receiving something in return (they will probably believe they deserve it too). You can offer to do the dishes more often, to do more housework that only they do now, or to find another way to help them around the house or in another setting. If you're old enough, you might as well go grocery shopping, take the dog out, or take care of something else so your parents have some more free time.
- You shouldn't even wait for them to say no. When you finish asking the question, you can add immediately "And in return I would be happy to clean the refrigerator, take out the trash for the whole month or always clean the cat litter box from now on".
- Think about it: is there an activity that your parents really hate so much and would they be happy if you took care of it? Maybe they always complain about having to go get their mail, answer the phone when they know a telemarketer is calling, or weed the garden. See if there is anything you can offer to do, so that they appreciate it so much they let you organize the sleepover to reciprocate.
Step 6. Show that it will be a good opportunity for you to socialize
What is certain is that you shouldn't blame them if they say no, making it seem like you have no friends or that they won't let you date anyone. However, you can remind them that it is quite normal for girls your age to have sleepovers and that you want to have this experience. Explain that you would like to see your friends outside of school and that you think it will be a fun opportunity to get to know them better. Your parents should feel partly responsible for your socializing opportunities.
Step 7. If all of this doesn't work, move on to a more drastic approach
Sure, you tried to be nice, reminded them of the times you were responsible and asked politely, but they still said no, so it's time to use a little more radical tactics. Here are some ideas:
- Say your friend absolutely wants you to go to the sleepover at her house. After they say no, you can ask "So can she sleep here?". Most parents don't want their daughters to go to their friends' sleepover parties, preferring to host them at home instead. If yours are like that too, then they'll be much more willing to say yes after you ask this question, because they'll think a sleepover at your home will be the lesser evil.
- Before asking if you can organize the sleepover, ask them for something more extreme. In fact, this way your idea will seem more acceptable. For example, ask if you can go on vacation with a friend and her family, get a dog or sign up for a riding course, and expect a negative answer. After they tell you no, look very sad, and do it for a couple of days, so they will know that you were really upset. Afterward, ask if you can have a sleepover, as if nothing had happened. If they don't realize your staging, they'll probably say yes.
- If you have a nasty little sister, you can propose that she join the sleepover. This way, your parents will have a babysitter without having to pay anything and they will be able to take a night off.
Part 2 of 3: Alleviate Their Worries
Step 1. Explain the program you have in mind in detail so they know what to expect
Parents are not that different from their children. Typically, what they don't want is to expose themselves to the unknown. Maybe they'll say no because they don't know what's going to happen, and imagine 10 screaming little girls having pillow fights and destroying their antique furniture. If you want these worries to go away and nothing bad to happen, then the best thing to do is to explain exactly how the evening will turn out. Here's what they need to know:
- How many people will you invite.
- What you will eat.
- What movies will you watch, if you do.
- Where your friends will sleep.
- What time will they arrive and what time will they leave.
Step 2. Reassure them that you will take care of all or a good portion of the preparations
Another reason parents hesitate to let a little girl throw a sleepover? They think they will have to prepare a lucullian dinner and that the next morning they will have to clean the house from top to bottom. They may also be concerned about arranging the whole house to be presentable for your friends and their parents. Make a point of doing all the cleaning before and after and making sure your friends don't get too dirty. Plus, he says you're going to have a simple sleepover and order pizza so they don't have to go through a million things to satisfy your friends.
Once you make it clear that you will be in charge of most of the preparations, they will be more willing to say yes. They will also be impressed with your initiative and the fact that you are showing yourself responsible
Step 3. Let them meet your friends before the sleepover
If your parents don't know the people you are going to invite, then you should introduce them to them so that they understand that they are nice and normal girls, and that the evening will go smoothly. Plan a date with both them and your family, otherwise invite them to have dinner or a movie at your house so they realize there's nothing to fear. If they are worried that they will stay asleep, then help them understand that they are good people, it will be easier for them to change their minds.
Your parents will feel more comfortable if they also know the parents of these girls
Step 4. Reassure them that they will be able to enter your room whenever they want during the sleepover
For your parents, the advantage of organizing it in your home is that in theory they will be able to control what you do at any time, whereas this would not happen if you went to someone else's house. Explain that they are welcome to participate while you eat, watch a movie, or do anything else. They can bring you milk and cookies or make breakfast in the morning, as long as they want to. They will probably leave you free for most of the evening, but they will feel comfortable because they know what you are doing and that they can talk to you.
Say you'll leave the door ajar and go to them every couple of hours. Sure, maybe it's not the best, but it's better than nothing
Part 3 of 3: Prove yourself responsible
Step 1. Refresh their memory by talking about other times you did well with your friends
If you long for your parents to say yes, you can list past occasions when you have been responsible and mature in the company of your friends. Do it immediately after asking the big question. Maybe the same friends you want to invite to the sleepover met them the week before. You can ask “Do you remember when Margherita came to watch television and eat a pizza? Nothing bad happened, did it?”. Prove that it's not a problem at all for your old friends, polite and responsible, to spend the night with you.
Your parents need to understand that you are actually capable of being responsible, that it is not just promises. List the times you have done well in the past around other people so they will calm down
Step 2. Show that your friends won't distract you from your school schedule
If you want your parents to let you have a sleepover, then you better get good grades. They need to understand that you are a good student, that you focus on what you do and that you will not be led astray by anyone. Nurturing friendships is healthy and important for growing well. Your parents need to realize that you keep the balance between obligations and free time in check.
If you get low grades, your parents may use them as an excuse to stop you from throwing the sleepover. Strive to be a good student, show that everything is under control, only then will you have a better chance of them saying yes. Not everyone is born to be top of the class, but it's important to do your best
Step 3. Help them around the house
Another way to get them to let you have the sleepover is to help out around the house. Not only should you take care of your schedule, you should go further and make sure everything is perfect. If you can, do your laundry, clean up your parents' bed, and offer to cook or go to the supermarket. You can also vacuum, dust, or take care of all those other unpleasant tasks that only yours do. They will understand that you are truly responsible and will be impressed by it.
Of course, you shouldn't be helping just to let you have the sleepover. Cultivating your responsibility will help you grow as a person as well
Step 4. Respect your parents' rules
It will seem obvious, but many kids are surprised when their parents say no because the behavior demonstrated up to that point has certainly not been exemplary. If your parents tell you to come home at a certain time, respect the curfew. If they tell you to help your little sister, don't ignore them. If they go to wake you up in the morning, don't complain to stay another 10 minutes in bed. The more you listen to what they say, the more likely you are to be heard when planning a sleepover.
- If you disobey your parents, they'll be right on their side when they tell you you can't throw the sleepover. It's best to respect them so you can use your positive behavior to convince them.
- Behave when you have guests. Did they invite people home? Whether they are your cousins or your parents' childhood friends, behave flawlessly by taking their coats, serving food, and guiding the house. Let your parents understand that you are an exemplary host, then ask if you can organize the sleepover.
Step 5. Be kind to your brothers and sisters
Another way to show that you are responsible enough to throw a sleepover is to treat your brothers and sisters politely and kindly as soon as you get the chance. Whether you have an insufferable little sister or an older brother who gets on your nerves, you should do your best to be as nice to her as possible. Help them when they need it, don't snitch when they mess up and work hard to be a good accomplice and a good sister.
If you respect your brothers and sisters, then your parents will understand that you are responsible enough to throw a good sleepover
Advice
- Do whatever they ask of you so they'll think you deserve a reward.
- If you want to be sure they'll say yes, then be nice for several days, and then ask. Try to behave in an exemplary manner for several days in a row before making this request.
- Help and be polite until they say yes, but then don't stop acting right all of a sudden!
- Don't complain all the time, otherwise they'll always say no.
- Say your friends' parents have no problem sending their daughters to your house.
- If you want to know their decision immediately, then stay in the same room smiling in an angelic way.
- Don't bribe them or try to persuade them by offering money.
- Before you ask, take your gorgeous report card home and help them out a little more often. Also, promise to keep engaging in the future. You will see that this will be enough to persuade them.
- Try to be nice to your brother and / or sister.
Warnings
- Be nice to them, even if they say no.
- Your parents may set rules for the sleepover. Respect them.
- Do not behave well by giving the idea that you want to ask for something in return, otherwise it will be more difficult to convince them.
- If they tell you that you can do it on a different date than the one you had in mind, don't be dissatisfied or complain, because this will give you more time to better organize the sleepover!
- They may say no for a certain date, but they may promise you that a few weeks later you can do it - better than nothing.
- Do not Cry.
- If they tell you that a certain day cannot be organized, then propose another date.
