Social etiquette rules include giving thanks and expressing gratitude when receiving a gift, because it can be irritating to a gift giver not to receive a "thank you", message, or thank you card under these circumstances. When that happens, you can ask the person in question or just accept that they didn't thank you and move on; as a result, you will be able to change how and why you give gifts in the future.
Steps
Method 1 of 3: Confront the Person who did not thank you
Step 1. Choose a quiet, secluded place to talk
If you decide to compare someone you gave a gift to and who didn't thank you, you need to do it in person and in private. Choose a neutral place, like a cafe or park, or invite them to dinner or coffee at your home. Take care to find a place where you can discuss with honesty and freedom.
Talk in person if possible - even a phone call is a better option for confrontation than text messages or e-mail, because in the latter cases it is difficult to set the right tone and approach
Step 2. Ask this if she has received the gift
Before comparing with the person in question, ask them directly if they have received your gift, in case you did not give it to them in person, but by post, or it was put aside among other packages to be opened later; it is important to have confirmation that the gift has been received so as not to find yourself arguing about something that the interlocutor has not yet received or seen.
- For example, you can ask "I was wondering if you got my gift" or "Have you unwrapped my gift yet?".
- In this way, the person may be induced to remember to thank you for the gift; give her some time to respond and see if she thanks you after being stimulated in this way.
Step 3. Express your regret that you were not thanked for the gift
If this person confirms that they have received the gift, you may be able to tell them simply and frankly that you were surprised and bewildered that you did not even receive a "thank you". Explain honestly how you felt.
- For example, you might say, "I was upset that I didn't get a word of thanks from you for the gift" or "I'm sorry you didn't thank me - didn't you like the gift?"
- Often, by saying this, the other may be prompted to respond with "Sorry" and "Thank you" or to explain why he did not thank you right away: be patient as you listen to his response.
Step 4. End the conversation on a positive note
If the person avoids questions or doesn't respond with a "thank you", try not to be angry. Make a commitment to end the conversation positively even if you don't get the thanks you were hoping for.
For example, you might say, "It bothers me that you don't show gratitude for my gift, but I can accept it and get over it."
Method 2 of 3: Accept the Lack of Thanks
Step 1. Remember that ungratefulness may have nothing to do with you
If you'd rather not confront this person about their ingratitude, you should make an effort to accept the situation for what it is, taking into consideration the fact that it may have nothing to do with you or the gift. Sometimes people don't thank for personal reasons and you are not responsible for their actions.
- For example, it could be a person with poor interactional skills who doesn't know how to thank adequately or maybe she doesn't feel like saying "thank you" because receiving that gift made her uncomfortable.
- Think about the character and personality of the other: consider whether it is a person who does not feel comfortable saying "thank you" and, for your part, tries to accept the fact that you cannot control their actions or preferences.
Step 2. Remember that giving something selflessly has its benefits
You can try to have a more generous attitude: when you are not thanked for a gift, consider that you have done an act of selflessness. Giving without expecting anything in return can teach you to develop empathy towards others. Also, giving a gift just to make others happy and not to receive thanks or praise can make your gesture more satisfying.
Giving selflessly can also be useful in building a reputation as a generous and caring person with no ulterior motives: your friends and colleges will see you as a person who knows how to give without expecting anything in return, which is a quality to be admired
Step 3. Overcome the problem
Try not to insist too much on getting the other person to thank you or forcing them to show gratitude, but rather work on overcoming the problem so that it doesn't ruin your day or depress you. Even if one person doesn't thank you, many others probably will in the same context, so don't let one person ruin your entire conception of generosity.
For example, you could work to overcome the problem by taking a few deep breaths to calm down and move on, focusing on the people who thank you when you give them a gift
Method 3 of 3: Change Habits to Gifts in the Future
Step 1. Choose to give gifts only to those who thank you
If it bothers you not to be thanked for the gifts you give, you may change your habits in the future by choosing to be generous only to people who show gratitude. For example, for the upcoming Christmas holidays you can choose to give gifts only to those who said "thank you" last year or you can avoid giving a birthday present next year to those who did not appreciate the gift you gave. 'year.
You can set your criteria for gifts by limiting them only to those who like them, depending on your personal preferences; for example, you may not be able to avoid giving a gift to a close relative even if they don't thank you, but instead of choosing a sought-after gift, you could buy a cheaper one so that you spend less money and potentially feel less disappointed if you don't he thanks you
Step 2. Try giving gifts without expecting anything in return
In the future, you might even try giving gifts selflessly, without expecting them to thank you. It might be difficult, but if you try, you may find that it is easier for you to give gifts freely and generously; Furthermore, engaging in selfless gift giving can be a good way to become more selfless and generous towards others.
For example, during the holiday season you could focus on giving gifts to loved ones without expecting a gesture of gratitude in return, so you will feel surprised and satisfied if and when you receive a thank you from them
Step 3. Stop giving gifts
If you are not happy with giving gifts without receiving anything in return, you should consider stopping them altogether: instead of spending so much money on gifts every year for friends and family, you can choose to spend it on yourself; by focusing on your own needs rather than those of others, you may feel better, especially if you don't receive the thanks and praise you feel you deserve.
