Everyone wants to feel good physically and spiritually, feel gratified at work, accept themselves, be respected, and cultivate personal relationships they can rely on. If you have a busy, monotonous, or incomplete life, then it's time to take back control. The important things take time, effort and focus, and in the long run they can come with some difficulties. Try to become the person you want to be and live as you would like by preparing to correct your thinking, make some lifestyle changes and be more productive.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Correcting Your Thinking
Step 1. Define your idea of control
Ask yourself what you mean when you say you want to take over the reins of your life. Are you referring to the fact that you would like to learn to steer the boat of your destiny, dominate the present, curb negative behaviors or simply improve your willpower? To gain control of your existence, you have to face numerous challenges, which also concern personal perceptions and self-confidence as well as actual behaviors. Determine which aspect of life you would like to gain more control in so that you can properly direct your energies.
Step 2. Accept yourself as you are
The first step to succeeding in everything you want is to know and accept your strengths and limitations. Don't be too hard on yourself. Accept the good and bad sides. Always strive to improve in the things you don't like or have a hard time with.
- Try to understand why you act a certain way and be indulgent with yourself. Self-reflection is a healthy and constructive exercise. The intransigence in judging oneself and the sense of guilt, on the other hand, are unproductive and very harmful attitudes; in these cases, therefore, remember that there are more effective strategies for solving problems. Consider that you have done your best and never forget that.
- In the meantime, think of three things that you stand out in, get a lot of compliments on, or enjoy doing. Write them down and put the paper in a place in the house that you frequent often, such as the bathroom or on the refrigerator.
Step 3. Reflect on your values
Establish the principles on which to regulate your existence so that you can set your priorities. Ask yourself who and what has an essential weight in your life: freedom, happiness, equality, money, family? List your values (at least 10), preferably placing them in order of importance.
- Ask yourself if your actions right now reflect your personal and moral values and to what extent these are affecting your life. Try asking yourself what a person you respect would think and if their considerations could change the values you believe in.
- Try to understand how you can fuel your self-esteem and feel more satisfied. Think about the person you would like to become, their character traits, their way of thinking, their behavior and the way they would lead their life.
Step 4. Improve your character
If you undertake to correct some character sides, giving ample space to your qualities, you will be able to improve the control of your life because you will be more inclined to achieve the goals you have set for yourself and mature other qualities. For this purpose, the aspects you should focus on are courage, temperance, wisdom and self-discipline.
- Having courage means drawing on personal energy and willpower to achieve what we want or need, despite the adversity to be faced. For example, you may be brave and resourceful at work (taking a risk), at school (studying diligently), or when you make an altruistic gesture that sets you apart from others. Courage is the opposite of fear and you manifest it by allowing yourself to be vulnerable, recognizing your fears, exposing yourself to them and taking actions that are considered mostly courageous.
- Temperance (moderation or self-control) is important because it allows you to maintain the right perspective, calm and self-control. For example, you will avoid destroying relationships if you can contain arrogance with an attitude of humility.
- Wisdom allows you to gain knowledge and experience by using them for more noble purposes, such as serving others or to live better. You can become wiser by trying new experiences, by trial and error, and by seeking knowledge.
- Self-discipline is essential if you want to take control of your destiny because it allows you to translate your every intention into action. You can develop this skill over time and with practice, as you develop a broader vision along a path dotted with small milestones. Always imagine your goals as if you have already achieved them. Cultivate self-control every day by making small changes, even if it's simply opening the door with your left hand. It will be easier to achieve the most important goals if you manage to change little by little.
Step 5. Pay attention to your stimuli
Many of us have a passion, something we like and pushes us to succeed in accordance with our intentions. Think about what you would like to do in life if you didn't encounter any obstacles. If you don't know, try to write down all the things that are most exciting and make you feel good. In addition to questioning yourself about your abilities and talents, also ask yourself what inspires you.
Step 6. Set goals
Find out what you really want this year: a home, a good job, a happy relationship? Write down each goal and then figure out ways to achieve it. Transpose your ideas into sentences that concretely condense what you plan to do, such as "I have to save". Then go through all the purposes for your project and choose three goals and three sentences for each thing you intend to do.
- Avoid statements like: "I don't want to be shy anymore and always find myself alone." They define neither a direction to take nor an action to take to achieve a goal. Instead, try writing, "This year I will try to nurture my relationships by accepting every invitation I get and asking a few friends to do something together at least once a week."
- Consider your options. Don't define yourself based on your problems, but on the opportunities available to you. If you're having a hard time paying your mortgage, figure out a way to get a pay raise, earn more money, or change jobs instead of mulling over your financial difficulties.
- If you want, you can set goals in different areas of life, for example in work, health, relationships, etc. In turn, break them down into short-term (daily, weekly) and long-term (monthly, yearly) goals. For example, you might decide to eat six servings of fruit and vegetables a day, exercise four times a week, or lose five pounds in a year.
- As time passes and you see that the measures you have taken are ineffective, do not be afraid to make corrections to the goals and ideas you have come up with. The important thing is to take control of life and its direction.
Step 7. Learn to control your emotions
Emotions can offer wonderful sensations, but by expressing them in an inadequate way, you risk not achieving the goals you have set for yourself and compromising your relationships. You must learn to understand, process and react to different moods in a healthy and profitable way.
- Use deep breathing and relaxation techniques to calm yourself before speaking or acting in certain situations.
- Inhale for 5 seconds, hold the air for another 5 and exhale again for another 5 seconds. Do this exercise until you are sure that physiological reactions, such as increased heart rate, have decreased in intensity.
- Find a healthy outlet for your emotions, such as confiding in someone, writing a journal, or engaging in sports, such as martial arts.
Step 8. Drop your weights
Sometimes, it is difficult to let go of negative thoughts and experiences: maybe you have the feeling that they limit you or that they have become so mechanical that you are afraid of detaching yourself from them, or maybe you just can't do without them. You must learn not to identify with your problems and convince yourself that they do not determine your personal worth or condition your choices today. By learning to let go of the weights of the past, you will be able to find solutions, broaden your points of view and take control of your life.
- Practice mindfulness. One way to get rid of the past is to focus on the present. Thanks to the techniques of meditation in full consciousness, you will be able to pay attention to the reality you are experiencing - the sensations of the body, like the sun on the face - simply by observing. Instead of judging your thoughts (or yourself), observe and acknowledge them. It takes practice, but the benefits can be enormous.
- Apologize. If you are haunted by a past mistake, it helps to ask for forgiveness. If you condemn yourself for the way you mocked your sister, get in touch with her (by meeting her or writing her a letter), apologizing for your behavior. Give her a chance to tell you how she feels. In any case, it is not certain that, showing yourself repentant, you will recover an already ruined relationship, but you could put what happened behind you and move on.
Part 2 of 3: Changing Your Lifestyle
Step 1. Be independent
If you are emotionally dependent on someone, agree to abide by the rules imposed by others or need people to tell you what to do, it means that you are not in control of your life. Learn to solve your problems and try to think and reflect for yourself. Ask for help only if you really need it and learn from someone who lends you a hand so you can do it yourself next time.
- Learn to meet your needs. Get a job so you can support yourself if someone else is doing it now. So, move elsewhere and live on your own.
- Ask yourself, "What do I want to do today?" and make a decision. Think about what you like and are passionate about. Don't wait for others to tell you what to do or push for your interests.
Step 2. Get organized
Organization is an important aspect in managing one's life. If chaos reigns in your home and head, you will hardly know where to start to clear the confusion. Try to keep everything in order, at home and at work, so that you don't have to restore order and remember to put things back in their place. Make lists, use a calendar, and make decisions instead of always putting off.
- Read your documents, e-mails and mail now and take action now, whether it's throwing everything out, paying a bill or replying to a letter.
- Plan every day of the week, organizing grocery shopping, family time, appointments, chores, etc.
- Throw away the things you haven't used for six months. Don't get attached to objects because you think they can serve you in the future.
- Do one thing at a time, especially if it's unimportant, like fixing up a closet, before moving on to the next chore.
Step 3. Look after your appearance
You may feel better and feel more in control of your life by taking care of your outward appearance. Cut your hair, dye it or style it differently. Buy new clothes and try to smile more often. However, be careful how much you spend so that you don't waste money.
Step 4. Take care of your body
Pay attention to what you eat and how much you eat, and try to exercise every day. To improve willpower, you should feed yourself by consuming small portions of energy foods throughout the day (every 3 hours). Opt for lean protein sources (meat and legumes) and complex carbohydrates (whole grains, fruits and vegetables). Avoid sweet, fatty, excessively processed or salty foods that can put you down in spirits and deprive you of the energy you need to stay in control of your life.
Step 5. Don't neglect sleep
When you are tired, you cannot maintain self-control or do more than usual. To take control of your life, you need to be alert and aware of your surroundings and the direction you are going. Get enough sleep to feel rested when awake, usually around 8 hours. Start relaxing at least 30 minutes before going to bed, adopt your own bedtime ritual (like drinking a hot herbal tea, brushing your teeth, going to bed), and trying to fall asleep and wake up at roughly the same times.
Step 6. Cultivate constructive relationships
Surround yourself with people you share the same values and goals with. Try to get to know those you respect and make their company a positive influence in your life. When you go to a place, you make new friends with people who cultivate the same values as you or who set goals similar to yours. Talk to people like you and ask if they can help you gain more control over your existence.
Tell each other your wants and needs trying to understand each other. Listen to yourself and find solutions that satisfy you. Always appreciate who you are in front of
Step 7. Reduce your schedule
If you have the impression that you are always running against time, spinning like a top when you have to complete tasks and tasks, it means that you have to review your priorities. Consider all the commitments that take up your time throughout the day. Reduce them by identifying only the most important ones you can really focus on.
- If you are reluctant to shake off some responsibility, keep in mind that in this situation your choices are: keep fighting when you have to do something, take time away from sleep, your family and other goals, work in a hurry and compromise performance. or give up on something.
- Realize that you have taken on too many responsibilities and that you cannot carry them forward as you would if you were less busy. Often, the fear of the consequences that accompany the idea of giving up a task or project are completely unfounded.
- Reduce distractions. Avoid or eliminate anything that prevents you from doing what you must. For example, if you're trying to pay more attention to your health, throw out sweets and junk foods to discourage their consumption. Mute cell phone and email notifications while you work to stay focused on your tasks.
Step 8. Enjoy
Life is not just about work. Find time for your hobbies, vacations, and people you love. Give yourself a little treat from time to time, like an ice cream or a new pair of shoes. You have learned to be in control of your life, so take advantage of the happy moments.
You just need to get up a few minutes earlier in the morning to dedicate 5-15 minutes to yourself. Work out, take a walk or meditate. These moments can make a difference
Part 3 of 3: Improving Performance
Step 1. Start the day early
After taking a few minutes to yourself, you need to focus on the most important activities. Deal with them right away so that you can reduce daily stress. Since you have more energy in the morning, you can concentrate more easily and improve the quality of work. As a result, the quantity could also skyrocket.
Try to do important assignments or tasks early in the morning
Step 2. Focus on one thing at a time
Decide which of the most important tasks has priority and commit to getting it done. In reality, multitasking impairs performance and productivity and can result in a 25% increase in time when something needs to be done, because the focus is constantly shifting from one activity to another. Don't worry about finishing all the tasks of the day at once, stay in control and do them one at a time so you can make gradual but steady progress.
Step 3. Stop wasting time
We live in a world full of distractions. However, you have a choice of whether to stay focused on what you're doing or get distracted by video games, TV, social media, and text messaging. Instead of going home and zapping to kill time, engage in something productive or do some chore so that you consciously use your time. Work out, pursue a hobby or your relationships - these are all fruitful and enjoyable diversions.
Step 4. Give yourself a few breaks
The human brain can concentrate for about 90 minutes. After that, he begins to get tired and starts to miss. So, focus non-stop for an hour and a half, then take a break of at least 5 minutes. It will allow you to rest mentally, recharge physically and relax emotionally.
Step 5. Develop healthy habits
When willpower is low, it does not serve as a method of self-control. Adopt some rituals and repeat them so that it is easier to act or think a certain way when you find yourself in other situations. For example, when you are at home you may think repeatedly, "I am calm," as you run the beads of a necklace or the beads of a rosary between your fingers. So, the next time you find yourself in stressful circumstances, try reaching out to your pocket so you can fiddle with the rosary and calm down.
Step 6. Take action
You can set all the goals in the world, but never get anywhere unless you roll up your sleeves to achieve them. Do what you need to do to get what you want and get where you want. Take baby steps, but make sure you work hard every day to get closer to your ultimate goal. For example, you might practice thinking positively, doing paperwork, or doing other mundane things.
- Avoid thinking about the future preventing you from enjoying the present. Reap all the benefits on the path to your main goal and remember to be grateful for all that you have achieved so far.
- Whether it's a project, an exam, or a hobby, do your best. The results that require effort will make you feel good about yourself and inspire you to move forward.
Advice
- If you make a mistake today, remember that tomorrow is another day. You can always try again to improve control of your life.
- By helping other people, you may feel really good about yourself. If you have time, find a place to volunteer. A hand is always needed at animal shelters and food bank organizations.
