Being able to accept yourself, your life and your daily reality can be difficult. Maybe you don't like your future prospects, hate an aspect of your personality, or some days you just can't appreciate yourself looking in the mirror. Being too critical of yourself is a common flaw, but fortunately there are many ways to learn to accept yourself and love your life.
Steps
Part 1 of 2: Urge yourself to accept yourself
Step 1. Recognize your qualities
It is all too easy to look in the mirror and bring out all our insecurities. But instead of listing all the things you would like to have, try focusing on the ones you already have. Make a list of your strengths, including your skills, values, and closest friends, for example.
If you have a hard time determining what your strengths are, reach out to a friend or family member and ask them to help you highlight your most positive characteristics
Step 2. Be honest with yourself
For many, this is a very daunting task, but one that must be done if you want to take control of your life. In many of today's societies that focus on the individuality of people, we feel motivated to necessarily succeed and often want to be praised for achieving it. We view all judgments in negative terms, so we shy away from those parts of us that elicit such reactions.
To try to be honest with yourself, imagine looking at yourself through the eyes of a stranger. Ask yourself what that person would think of you, and try to be as objective as possible, based on facts rather than your opinion of yourself
Step 3. Admit your mistakes
Remember that until you acknowledge that you have a problem, you have no hope of being able to fix it. You can learn to see mistakes as opportunities to learn, as gates that lead you to where you want to go in life. Trust yourself, understand that you are the only one who can change yourself and the only one who has control over your destiny. Determine what's important to you and set your mind accordingly. Stop doubting yourself and believe that you can become the person you want.
Understanding that mistakes are learning opportunities and that reality is by no means immutable will make you more likely to persevere, resist challenges and evolve as a person
Step 4. Talk to someone you trust
Unleash your thoughts in the presence of someone who loves you and is able to give you all the attention you need. By simply externalizing your emotions you may begin to feel excessive or realize that your life is not as bad as you thought.
If you don't feel ready to talk about yourself, reach out to someone you trust and ask them to give you some advice to help you change or improve the aspects of your life that you don't want to accept
Step 5. Seek professional help
Sometimes it's easier or more effective to get help from an expert, even if they don't know us. A therapist can help you learn to accept yourself and your reality. It could be a psychologist, psychiatrist, or other mental health professional.
Contact your doctor to help you find a qualified psychologist in your city, or ask friends and family for advice
Part 2 of 2: Practicing Mindfulness
Step 1. Understand the benefits of being aware
It has been shown that having full awareness of our feelings and our reality can help us accept ourselves. Some techniques to increase our state of awareness are based on self-compassion and require the support of a professional, but others can be practiced alone, in the comfort of your own home. Some of the benefits of conscious self-compassion include:
- Learn to be less self-critical.
- Learn to manage problematic emotions.
- Learn to self-motivate and encourage yourself instead of judging yourself.
Step 2. Plan to spend some time with yourself and set a timer
Give yourself 10-20 minutes of quiet time each evening (or morning) to meditate. Set your alarm and let your mind wander, sure you won't be late for work or any other appointment.
Choose an alarm clock with a melodious and pleasant ringtone that allows you to calmly return to reality
Step 3. Sit in a chair and keep your back straight
Choose the most comfortable chair available and assume good posture. Close your eyes to minimize external distractions.
To further reduce distractions, place the chair in the quietest spot in the house
Step 4. Watch your breathing
Pay attention to the way you breathe but keep a natural rhythm, unless you feel the need to do so, don't change the way you breathe. Notice how the air enters through the nose or mouth and then flows down to the lungs, energizing the whole body.
- Feel the air moving back up and out, taking part of your physical and mental tensions with it.
- Do your best to avoid getting too big, but still allow your body to relax slightly.
Step 5. Count your breaths
Count to four, then start over. Focus exclusively on your breath and body.
If you find that your mind has moved elsewhere, acknowledge that you have lost control of your attention, but don't judge yourself. Just gently return to focus on your breath
Step 6. Be consistent
Practice mindful meditation every day, slowly you will realize that you are more attentive and able to accept yourself and your reality more, judging yourself less and less frequently.
Note that it may take a lot of practice to reach the finish line, so be patient and don't give up! It may also take a long time
Advice
- There are some aspects of reality that you cannot control, so don't insist on wanting to do this. Just turn every idea into an action and work hard to achieve your goals.
- Don't blame others for your choices.
- Look for a photograph from when you were a child. Reflect on how far you have come since then. Notice how much you have grown and think back to all the goals you have achieved. You are a wonderful person and like everyone you have an important role in life.
- When you feel low, try to engage in an activity that helps distract you from worries. You could try your hand at art, yoga or music, exercise or whatever you like and help you relax.
