If you want to ensure a happy and fulfilling life you must necessarily learn to have a positive attitude; in fact, once you develop it, you will be able to recognize and welcome positive emotions more easily, at the exact moment in which they are born. Thanks to the newly acquired sensitivity, you will also be able to notice and reformulate negative emotions by blocking them right in the bud. Making time for yourself and your relationships is important when you want to develop a positive attitude.
Steps
Method 1 of 5: Understanding the Importance of a Positive Attitude
Step 1. Understand that a positive attitude will reduce your negative emotions
Showing yourself positive will allow you to experience an abundant amount of happy emotions and not be hindered by negativity. A supportive attitude can make you live a more fun and fulfilling life and help you overcome negative experiences faster.
Step 2. Recognize the connection between positive emotions and physical health
Research suggests that stress and other negative emotions can cause health problems, including coronary artery disease, for example. By replacing negative emotions with positive ones, you can improve your general state of well-being.
Positive emotions are also able to slow the progress of the disease, since they reduce the stimulation exerted by negative ones
Step 3. Understand the link between positivity, creativity and attention
In addition to providing physical benefits, a positive attitude produces "a robust and flexible system of cognitive organization and gives the ability to integrate different materials". These sleep effects are connected to the increase in dopamine levels in the neural circuits, and to the consequent improvement in terms of attention, creativity and learning ability. Positive emotions also improve our ability to overcome difficult situations.
Step 4. Overcome negative events faster
Developing and maintaining a positive attitude allows you to deal with traumas and difficulties in a different way, for example in the event of a loss or the end of a relationship, as it allows you to become more resilient.
- Those who manage to experience positive emotions during bereavement tend to develop healthier long-term plans. About a year after the loss, having goals and plans to follow may be able to produce a better sense of general well-being.
- In an experiment on emotional resilience and stress response conducted on participants exposed to unnerving assignments, the results showed that each of them experienced a state of anxiety, despite their natural ability to cope with the adversities of life. Nonetheless, however, the most resilient participants were able to return to a state of calm more quickly than the others.
Method 2 of 5: Set aside time for self-reflection
Step 1. Recognize that changes take time
Developing a positive attitude can be compared to developing strength or physical fitness. It is an undertaking that requires constant effort.
Step 2. Identify and cultivate your best qualities
To be able to provoke more positive experiences and emotions, it is good to focus on your own strengths, so as to simplify the management of adversity.
Make a list of activities you enjoy doing or ones you feel particularly good at. Take the time to do it regularly. In this way you will increase the amount of positive experiences lived
Step 3. Keep a journal
Studies have shown that, in both work and school settings, self-reflection can be an effective learning and teaching tool. You can also use it to develop a positive attitude. Writing down your feelings and thoughts can help you know and recognize your behaviors and reactions.
Initially, reflecting on yourself and writing down your thoughts in a journal may not be easy. With time and practice, however, by re-reading your words you will be able to recognize different emotional and behavioral patterns and to identify those elements that block you and prevent you from achieving your goals
Step 4. Describe the positive events of your day
Go through it mentally and notice the favorable aspects. Include any situations that have made you happy, proud, amazed, grateful, calm, contented, satisfied, or have aroused any positive emotion in you.
- For example, recall your morning routine and note the times when you felt happy or calm. For example, remember the beautiful landscape you saw on your way to work, a pleasant chat or the pleasure of the first sip of coffee.
- Particularly focus on those moments when you have felt proud of yourself or grateful towards someone. Don't leave out the little things, like a sense of gratitude for a kind gesture from your partner (for example, making the bed for you). Also notice how proud you feel every time you complete a task, achieve a goal, or win a challenge against yourself.
- Starting your reflections by reliving the positive moments of your day could be of great use. Reliving positive emotions will help you change your perspective on negative moments.
Step 5. Write down moments in your journal when you experienced negative emotions
Identify them precisely and include incidents where for example you have felt guilty, embarrassed, frustrated, disappointed, scared or disgusted. Looking back, do some of these thoughts of yours seem excessive to you? You may have spilled some coffee on your boss's jacket and thought he was going to fire you because of that incident and that you would never be able to find a new job. When we react in an extreme way to the events of every day we block all productive and positive thoughts in the bud.
Step 6. Re-formulate negative moments by transforming them into positive experiences
Review your list of negative situations and take the time to change your perspective to be able to draw positive (or at least neutral) emotions from them.
- For example, if the traffic on your way home has got you pissed off, rephrase the intentions of other drivers by treating their mistakes as unintentional. If an event made you feel embarrassed, think about how funny it was from another angle. Even if your boss seemed annoyed that you spilled coffee on his jacket, don't forget that everybody gets it wrong from time to time. With a little luck, perhaps he too will be able to grasp the funny side of the situation.
- By learning to scale the small mistakes, you will be able to manage your daily experiences more effectively. One way to manage the coffee situation wisely is to make sure your boss is okay and not burned, and then offer to take care of his jacket during lunch or take care of the laundry shop.
Step 7. Tap into your "happiness reserves"
Over time, you will acquire the ability to manage situations better and you will see positive emotions grow. The benefits of positive emotions are lasting and in terms of time exceed those of the moment you experience the feeling of happiness. In fact, it is possible to draw on your "reserves of happiness" even in subsequent moments and in different emotional states.
Don't worry if you struggle to create emotionally positive experiences. You can use the happy memories you already have to lay the foundation for your reserves
Step 8. Remember that everyone in life faces problems from time to time
Do not feel the only one having to manage more or less great difficulties. Being able to reframe your extreme reactions takes time and forces you to accept them and understand how you can change them. With practice, however, you will learn to stop worrying about the little things and to analyze even the biggest problems in cold blood, treating them as learning opportunities.
Step 9. Keep your inner critic at bay
Otherwise it may hinder your progress towards a more positive attitude.
- For example, if your inner critic has labeled you a fool for spilling coffee on your boss's jacket, think about his words. In fact, sometimes we tend to continually discredit ourselves and to be malicious with ourselves. Reflect on the occasions when your inner critic shows himself negative and what he says: you will get a clearer picture of his behavior and the situations in which he decides to intervene.
- You can also decide to start challenging your inner critic and your other negative thoughts. This is an important step along the way that will allow you to develop a more positive attitude.
Method 3 of 5: Make Time for Yourself
Step 1. Do the things you enjoy
Find time to dedicate yourself to the things you love and that make you happy doing them. Finding some time for yourself, especially if you are someone who tends to always give priority to the needs of others, may not be easy. In some cases, even a small child, a second job or having to take care of a sick person can be an obstacle. Before dedicating yourself to others, however, it is essential to guarantee your own "oxygen mask": only when you feel at your best can you show yourself really attentive and available to others.
- If music makes you happy, listen to it. If you love to read, take the time to read a good book in a quiet area. Reach a viewpoint, visit a museum you are passionate about, or watch a movie that you enjoy.
- Keep active doing the things you enjoy - it's a great way to focus on what's positive.
Step 2. Spend some time reflecting on the times when you have felt fulfilled
No one but you will be able to read your reflections and judgments about yourself and your day, so don't be afraid to appear arrogant. To enjoy an activity, it is not necessary to be skillful or to please someone.
- If you have remarkable cooking skills, admit to yourself that you are a talented cook. Also note that you don't need to be able to bewitch the creatures of the forest to enjoy singing.
- Noticing the moments of satisfaction, pride, and happiness caused by carrying out certain particular activities is a great way to ensure that you can experience the same emotions again in the future.
Step 3. Worry less about others
Since you are not the same as other people, there is no reason to judge yourself using their standards. You may often find pleasure in doing something that many others loathe. You are definitely the only one who is "allowed" to define yourself and what success means to you.
Step 4. Don't compare yourself to others
The view you have of yourself is very different from your view of others, just as it is different to admire a Monet painting from a distance of 30 centimeters or 6 meters. Understand that the image you have of someone else may be somewhat contrived and calculated at the table with respect to what the other person intends to project of himself - what you see may only partially represent reality. Stop measuring yourself with others and value yourself based on the opinions of others. This way you will be less prone to interference from their behavior.
For example, if you happen to have a negative interaction with a casual acquaintance, don't assume they don't like you. Consider it a simple episode of misunderstanding and accept the hypothesis that his mood may be completely independent of you
Method 4 of 5: Cultivate Personal Relationships
Step 1. Maintain healthy relationships
Personal relationships are an important part of the human experience, even for those who classify themselves as "introverts" or who feel the need to recharge by being alone and do not need a large number of friends. Friendships and relationships are a source of support, confirmation and strength for every gender and personality. Make a commitment to maintain healthy relationships with friends and family.
Research has shown that conversing with the people we love helps us immediately improve our mood and feel their support
Step 2. Establish new relationships
When you meet new people, identify those whose company you appreciate and commit to building new relationships. Your new friendships will strengthen your support network and help you pursue your goal of building a positive attitude.
Step 3. Talk about your emotions with a friend
If you struggle to create experiences on your own that can trigger positive emotions, ask for the support of a friend. Negative feelings should never be repressed: share them with a friend so that he can help you deal with them and overcome them, so that the necessary space is created in your ego to welcome more positive emotions.
Method 5 of 5: Dealing with Stressful Situations
Step 1. Interpret stressful circumstances as well
To review a burdensome situation in a positive light means to think of it differently.
For example, if you find yourself having to complete a daunting list of tasks, instead of looking at it and saying, "I'll never be able to do it all," try thinking, "I can get most of these tasks done."
Step 2. Stop focusing on problems
In other words, shift your focus from the situation that is stressing you to the possible solution. Break the problem down into parts to be able to solve it more easily. Identify potential hitches or obstacles and decide how you intend to deal with them once they arise.
- For example, if you are having a difficult time at work because you are unable to form a team of colleagues who can work well together, stop and analyze the situation in detail. Collect ideas and write down possible solutions to the problem.
- For example, Giovanni doesn't like Sara, and your employer, instead of encouraging teamwork, favors and rewards individual efforts. If you want to stop focusing on the problem, you could say that, although Giovanni and Sara have the right not to like each other, they must know that they have to keep a professional conduct and therefore improve their work. Then organize a group exercise in which each is required to state three positive characteristics of the other.
- By completing a project successfully and learning to cooperate productively, your team can set an example for the entire company and help change its philosophy.
Step 3. Look for a positive meaning for each ordinary event
Attributing a positive meaning to daily events and even adversity allows you to experience positive emotions even in times of difficulty.
