How to Stop Judging (with Pictures)

2024 Author: Samantha Chapman | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 09:13

It is easy to judge without realizing it: for example, you may be convinced that you know how to look, think and act. While the idea of having everything figured out and classified may put you at ease, this attitude can prevent you from making new friends and having new experiences. Fortunately, you can learn to be less critical by changing your point of view, broadening your horizons and keeping an open mind.

Steps

Part 1 of 3: Changing Your Point of View

Step 1. Always think positively

A negative mental attitude can lead you to judge others. Try to see the positives in each situation rather than the negatives. When you have a pessimistic thought, question it, then try to frame the problem in a more constructive way.

You can keep a realistic approach while adopting a positive outlook. You don't have to ignore the negatives, but just don't focus solely on them.
It's normal to have some bad days. Be forgiving of yourself at times when you are feeling low.
An optimistic attitude can improve your life in several ways!

Step 2. Separate the actions of individuals from their personalities

Sometimes people make unacceptable gestures, such as stealing someone's lunch money or passing others in line. Even if it is bad behavior, you shouldn't judge these people based on this alone; surely they have merits that you do not know.

Be aware that actions at any given time may be motivated by circumstances that you are not aware of. For example, someone might steal their lunch money because they haven't eaten for a couple of days

Step 3. Notice when you criticize

Shred judgments in the bud by controlling the thoughts you have about others. As soon as you find yourself having a negative thought about someone, ask yourself how you or the target of your criticism can benefit from it. Instead, try giving a compliment.

For example, you might think, "That girl should lose weight." Challenge this judgment by asking yourself to what extent it interests you. Then, highlight a nice detail, for example by saying: "You have a wonderful smile!"

Step 4. Put yourself in others' shoes

Each person is unique and has different skills, abilities, qualities and life experiences. Furthermore, she has a personality that was formed based on the upbringing she received, but also on the place where she grew up, the way she was treated and the conditions in which she led her life. When you know someone, try to imagine yourself in their place. Even if you don't agree with his choices, accept the fact that he has every right to make his own decisions.

For example, someone you think is too needy for affection and attention may have grown up without a parent who encouraged them. Likewise, a person who does not apply in your study to your eyes may prioritize the need to earn money to support their family

Step 5. Find a meeting point

Whenever you are tempted to judge someone other than yourself, emphasize commonalities instead of differences. We all have affinity because we are human! This thought will help you see people positively rather than clouded by your personal opinions.

Dwell briefly on some topics until you find the one that stimulates the interest of the interlocutors and favors an exchange of ideas. This way you will realize that other people are not that different from you

Step 6. Be grateful for what you have

Appreciate the good things that are part of your life, especially those that have allowed you to get to where you are. Be happy for your friends, your family, your health, the opportunities you have taken, the relationships you have built and the way you have grown up. Recognize that not everyone is as lucky as you are, so don't be unfair by judging those who live differently.

If you are tempted to speak ill of someone, take a deep breath. Rather, wish him the same luck you have had in your life

Step 7. Be understanding

The one who is understanding is the polar opposite of the one who spits out judgments. Instead of judging people and thinking badly of them, try to put yourself in their shoes and really imagine what they think and feel. It is not easy to stop having negative thoughts and wanting the best for others, but it is possible. Focus on what they need and help them instead of wishing them the worst.

Understanding also allows you to be happy. If you want to be a more inclusive person, you need to nurture positive feelings towards people and the world around you

Part 2 of 3: Expanding Your Horizons

Step 1. Be curious

Curiosity is a great tool to stop judging. Instead of taking a critical attitude, use your curiosity when you can't grasp something. Consider what is indecipherable in your eyes as a possibility rather than as something wrong or different.

For example, suppose you see someone skip the line at the supermarket checkout. Instead of thinking he is a rude person, ask yourself if he may have an urgent appointment or a health problem

Step 2. Get out of your comfort zone

Try to gain new experiences from the ones you normally live. It can be scary at first, but also a lot of fun! You can also invite a friend to try something different with you. Here are some tips for getting out of your protective shell:

Use a different means of transportation to get to work.
Try a dish you've never tasted.
See a movie in its original language with subtitles.
Attending a religious service of another faith.
Try your hand at something that scares you, like standing on top of a tall building, climbing or eating raw fish.

Step 3. Take another round of acquaintances

You could expand your horizons if you make an effort to date people who are different in multiple respects, such as ethnic background, cultural background, religious beliefs, interests, class, ideas, hobbies, profession, or whatever. By being with people who have different backgrounds or points of view, you will be able to better grasp all the ideas that circulate around the world.

You don't have to surround yourself with friendships that only come from different backgrounds and cultures, but you should try to get to know people who aren't exactly like you. You will acquire this skill with practice.
You will learn to be more understanding and open by making friends with individuals you have always thought had nothing in common with you.
Let your friends know that you are interested in going somewhere with them if they wish to invite you. You might start like this: "It's great that your family moved here from Japan. I am very intrigued by Japanese culture. I would be happy to attend some event, if my presence doesn't bother you."

Step 4. Witness an event that you are not particularly passionate about

Choose an activity that in other circumstances you would consider boring, stupid, or strenuous. Test yourself by taking part in it in order to learn something new! You will be able to meet different people, consider other perspectives and prepare yourself to do something that may open your mind in the future.

For example, see a poetry reading, salsa class, or political rally.
Talk to other people and get to know them. If you are tempted to judge them, ask yourself how you would feel if they judged you, especially since you are not part of their environment.

Step 5. Travel as much as possible

Traveling can broaden your horizons and show you how people in the rest of the world live. If you don't have a lot of money, you can go to the nearest city or spend a weekend in a European capital. The important thing is to see that there are infinite ways of living and that no person has the right to say how to behave.

Sleeping in hostels is a great way to travel without breaking the bank.
Make it a goal to travel at least once a year. This way you will step out of your comfort zone and meet a wide variety of people.
You can also travel indoors. Get a tour guide from a distant location and study it. If you want to learn more, watch a movie set in that place.

Step 6. Spend a day with a friend's family

You will realize to what extent the ménage of other households can be completely different from yours. While there are many points in common, there will probably be differences. It's normal!

Ask a friend if they can invite you to a special event, such as a cultural activity or religious service. However, don't insist if you see him in trouble

Step 7. Learn something from every person you meet

Any individual can enrich your existence because it exposes you to something to treasure. Ask yourself what it can teach you, be it knowledge, skills, or life advice.

For example, a person from another culture might set you apart from their traditions. Likewise a person who has a talent for art is able to show you a new art technique.
Give it back by sharing something about you. Try to be the first to open up and communicate.

Step 8. Ask a lot of questions

They will help you better understand people and their points of view, but they will also allow you to broaden your understanding of different cultural backgrounds and customs.

If you really want to know a person, you need to find out about the environment they come from. For example, you might ask: Do you have brothers? Where do you come from? What do you study? What is your job? What do you like to do on the weekend?
Don't press her to answer. However, showing some interest in her may encourage her to open up.

Part 3 of 3: Keeping an Open Mind

Step 1. Break the habit of always wanting to be right

Each person has their own ideas about how the world should work, and many times these ideas conflict with those of others. Whether or not you are an educated and trained person, the values you believe in inevitably contribute to forming your point of view. Others are in this position too, so accept that they don't always agree with you.

The next time you have an argument, remember that your interlocutor may also have a valid opinion.
Think about expressing your point of view without trying to make people change their minds.
Remember that many situations are complicated and cannot be judged on what is "right" or "wrong" - there are many aspects that fall into gray areas.

Step 2. Get your idea

Put aside gossip and negative information about a person, culture, or other situation. Question the allegations before making a decision about an individual or group. Don't be swayed by unreliable information.

Keep in mind that everyone has their own reasons for gossiping or expressing negative opinions. For example, a person may speak ill of someone because they are jealous or express some concern about a concept belonging to a foreign culture because they are afraid of it.
Think about the times you have been a victim of gossip. Do you want people to judge you based on these slanders?

Step 3. Don't judge people on appearances

It is true that clothing also serves to express one's personality, but this does not mean that everything there is to know about a person is limited to their outward appearance. Likewise, individuals also differ within the same way of life.

For example, don't assume that someone covered in tattoos and piercings can't be a professional in some field.
Before you go out, look in the mirror. What would people think of you looking at your appearance? In what respect could he be right or wrong?

Step 4. Stop labeling people

Judgments that reduce human beings to a single behavior do not expose a person's complexity. In reality, indeed, they limit the vision that we can have. Try to see each person individually, for what they are. Learn to go beyond the external appearance and try to consider individual events before rushing to conclusions.

For example, don't describe people as clueless, nerdy, dull, etc

Step 5. Avoid spitting judgments on people

Let others tell you about themselves instead of making assumptions. You can only see a few facets of the people you meet, and if you appear to be a know-it-all who has a habit of making inappropriate judgments, the range of interpretations will narrow even further. Give yourself the opportunity to change your mind as you get to know someone better.

Accept others as they are.
Would it be fair if someone judged you based on just a 5 minute conversation? What could he learn about you and your life in such a short time?

Step 6. Offer another chance

Sometimes someone can make you nervous, but don't assume they're obnoxious or malicious. Surely you too have had days that didn't start in the best way. Give others the benefit of the doubt and keep negative thoughts at bay.

For example, you might meet someone who has had a bad day. Similarly, shy people may seem aloof or snooty at first

Step 7. Don't gossip

Gossip sows grudges and causes people to make wrong judgments without knowing the truth. Also, if you gain a reputation as a gossip, many will want to consult with you for intriguing details about others, but they will never be able to trust you.