Everyone is afraid of rejection, but sometimes we have to take the risk of experiencing it if we are to get what we want. Read this article to learn how to ask someone out without losing your self-esteem and dignity.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Make a Plan
Step 1. Find out if the person in question is already in a relationship
You will save yourself unnecessary embarrassment and a lot of effort.
If the person in question is in a relationship, don't ask them out. It is inappropriate, unfair to her boyfriend and reflects immaturity and little morality
Step 2. Trust yourself, but be prepared for possible rejection
Decide in advance what you will do, or say if the person says no. This is a very important point, especially if you want to ask a friend out; the last thing you want is to ruin a friendship, right?
- Being prepared for rejection will help you not to appear "defeated" if the answer is a direct "no".
- While you want to be prepared for rejection, don't let it negatively impact your self-confidence. On the contrary, use it as a way to feel even more confident; after all, getting "no" for an answer is not the end of the world.
Step 3. If possible, try to find out the interests of the person in question
It will help you get a good idea for a possible date (where to take it, what to do etc …) If you like music, why not invite her to a concert? If you are passionate about cinema, invite her to see the latest movie out, etc …
Step 4. Decide how you will ask the person to go out with you
If you are very shy to ask him directly, consider asking him through a text message, a Facebook message or an email.
- Text messages are a good option especially in case you are not entirely sure if you can accept. This way, when faced with a "no", you don't have to worry about hiding your disappointment.
- If you've just met this person, and you don't have their phone number, you'll have to ask them in person. Do not worry! Asking for a date in person can be very romantic and satisfying if the answer is "yes".
Part 2 of 3: Asking a Person You Already Know to Date
Step 1. Start a conversation
Starting a completely casual conversation will help you work your way up to the clue question. If the conversation is generic at first, it will be easier for you to take the "big step".
- Send her a message like, "Hey, how's it going?" If you are doing this in person, approach the subject with a "Hello", smile and maintain eye contact.
- Instead of asking her out directly, find out what she will do tomorrow, over the weekend, etc. Create the conditions to arrive at the question in a more natural way.
Step 2. Ask her for an appointment
Suggest an activity that you think will interest them, based on what you know about the person. If you really don't get any ideas, try one of these:
- Ask her to go for a coffee or something to drink.
- Invite her out for lunch or dinner.
- Invite her to a party.
- Invite her for ice cream or for a walk.
Step 3. Make her understand that it is not a drama if she refuses
This will help avoid future tension, especially if you are friends or have mutual friends, and will continue to see each other regularly. By doing this, the person will understand that you are mature enough to calmly handle rejection.
Part 3 of 3: Asking a Person You Just Met on a Date
Step 1. Maintain eye contact and smile
It will show her that you are interested, and give her a chance to reciprocate, showing you that the feeling is mutual.
If the person looks the other way or doesn't smile back, they are probably not interested. However, he may do so due to excessive shyness; so, don't give up
Step 2. Approach the person and introduce yourself if you haven't already
Behave with ease and don't show nervousness. The first impression is extremely important, and self-confidence is a very attractive trait in both men and women.
Step 3. Start a general conversation
You could start by giving her a compliment, talking about where you are, or asking her a question. If you can't think of anything you might ask, here are some tips:
- Ask her what time it is.
- Ask her where she comes from.
- Ask her what she is reading.
- Compliment a dress she wears.
- Talk about something around you (music at a party).
Step 4. Ask the person out
Once the conversation has started, let the person in question know that you are interested, and that you would like to learn more.
- Suggest meeting her for coffee, lunch, or dinner. These are basic appointments that do not involve great compromises.
- Avoid asking her to go to the movies on a first date; you would have no way to really know her.
Step 5. Be diplomatic if you get "no" for an answer
If the person says no, smile and say something like, "Well, it was worth a try. Glad I met you anyway!" Don't continue harassing her further if she has said no, and most importantly, avoid trying to get her to accept. In the first place you will play the part of the "desperate" and, worse still, you will make the person feel extremely uncomfortable.
Advice
- When you ask someone out make sure you look your best. Not only will it increase your chances of success, but it will make you feel more confident and this will reflect on your behavior.
- Try to understand "subliminal" messages. There are people who, by nature, are unable to say "no" and will invent an excuse not to go out with you. In this case, try to figure out if there is a real underlying interest or if it is a subtle way to make you give up.
