It is not always easy to be an individual, especially in the presence of strong personalities, group conditioning and confusing opinions. However, by making the effort to accept who you currently are as you continue to grow and evolve, you will be able to discover the traits of that person you are destined to become. Being an individual takes work and dedication, and it doesn't mean you have to stand out in the crowd. Being a true individual means having beliefs and not being afraid to go off the beaten path.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Developing a Healthy Perspective
Step 1. Stop caring what others think
If you really want to take the steps necessary to become an individual, you have to put aside your worries about the judgments of others. You should want to be an individual only for yourself, not because others think you are great nor to stand out in some way. By obsessing over what others think, you will never be able to truly satisfy yourself, because pleasing everyone is not possible.
- Of course, gossip hurts and it's hard not to be bothered by it. However, when you hear gossip about yourself, understand that it comes from a weak and insecure person, so avoid lowering yourself to the same level as him.
- Even if you feel like the best individual on Earth, no matter if you are John Lennon, Nina Simone or Lena Dunham, you will still be criticized. It's better to accept it right away than to spend your life trying to please everyone.
Step 2. Don't be afraid to be yourself
As trivial as it may seem, being an individual means being impassively yourself. Whenever you are in public, you won't have to hide your true feelings, or act like you are perfect by rejecting your flaws. This means having to be comfortable showing your imperfections, quirks and ideas to the world, and feeling good about yourself. Of course it may take time to reach such a milestone, but what you need is to get in the habit of letting others see who you really are, rather than acting like who you think they would like you to be.
- Of course, you need to present slightly different sides of yourself to different people. You probably don't want your boss or your teachers to see the exact same side of you that you show your friends; you will have to work on partially censoring yourself, or on avoiding themes that are supposed to be offensive to someone. However, in general, you shouldn't feel like you're flipping a switch to give birth to a completely different version of yourself every time you talk to a different person.
- Make a commitment to open up to people. When you first meet, it is not necessary to tell everything about who you are, what your childhood was like, how much love you feel for your tarantula or your obsession with Shannon Doherty, but little by little you should really work to reveal. who you are, in order to build relationships of greater value with people.
Step 3. Don't feel compelled to be different
You might think that being an individual means wearing neon clothes, playing the banjo, or standing out in a hall among 500 other people, like "Where's Wally?", But that's not what is meant. To be an individual, you don't need to be eccentric; you just have to be happy by being yourself and stating your ideas and opinions. In fact, forcing your hand too much may result in the opposite effect, finding yourself less spontaneous than normal.
- For example, if you love wearing soft-toned clothes, stick to the style you like instead of thinking you need a change in your wardrobe in order to be an individual.
- Likewise, you don't need to change your hairstyle or make-up, or get a tattoo. Being an individual comes from within.
- Of course, in some way, we are all different from each other, but the difference is not always visible. If you are different for some fantastic reason, such as being able to speak 8 languages or being a wonderful dancer, don't be afraid to show it.
Step 4. Develop your self-esteem
While this may not be achieved in a short time, it is important to take those steps that will lead you to love and accept the person you truly are. You can't be an individual if you don't trust the person you are, so you should engage in pursuit of everything you can be grateful for, focus on your strengths, work on affirming yourself and being positive in social interactions. The more you focus on developing your confidence, the sooner you become a true individual.
- One way to develop self-confidence is to spend time with those who make you feel good. It's not easy to be confident when our supposed "best friends" do their best to bring us down.
- Body language can go a long way in making you look and feel confident. Make an effort to stand up straight, look people in the eye, and avoid crossing your arms over your chest or gazing at the ground. Simply projecting confidence can make you feel so much better about yourself.
Step 5. Stick to your beliefs
An important component of being an individual is sticking to one's beliefs and not allowing others to change our minds with every discussion. Of course, having an open mind is good, as is wanting to learn from others, but you have to work hard not to be weak and to show people that you really mean what you say. Don't allow others to condition you into behaviors you don't like, so make a commitment not to change your mind the next time your friends try to persuade you to do so.
- If you really don't want to do something because you feel it's morally wrong, don't give in to friends or acquaintances just because it's more comfortable to do so. Learn to explain why you believe that a given behavior, such as drinking without having the age to do so, is wrong, and then walk away from the situation.
- Don't let others negatively affect your mood and make your ideas seem insignificant just because they are taller, more insistent, or tenacious than you. Look for examples and concrete evidence to support your ideas, don't be afraid to express them.
- If a caring friend is helping you get a new perspective on a situation, be grateful for their intervention and ask further questions. Sticking to your beliefs doesn't mean being inexplicably stubborn.
Step 6. Make a commitment to feel better about yourself
Another way to be an individual is to be happy and comfortable in your own shoes. Strive to develop a sincere love for your body and mind, make sure that when you enter a room your presence is noticed. A hunched posture, constant complaints to yourself, or an insecure way of communicating project a lack of confidence and a sense of dissatisfaction towards you. Learn to love the way you are, to feel confident enough to assert your opinions, and to converse with strangers without hesitation.
Those who really can call themselves individuals feel good about themselves because they don't care about the judgments of others. By appearing confident and happy with what you are doing, you will receive the respect you deserve
Step 7. Understand that there is literally no one like you in the world
It might sound bizarre, but when you want to change your perspective and commit to being an individual, often, the best thing you can do is stop and realize that there is no other person in the world with the same upbringing, values, points of view and thoughts as you.: you are truly unique and different. You may think that there is nothing that makes you great, instead you have to remember that in some way we all differ from each other. Even though you have a twin, you are a unique person and no one else can see the world exactly the way you do. Recognize it and feel proud of it.
- You may feel that you are completely ordinary, for example speaking two languages or having three siblings, but for many it could be something extraordinary and therefore you should be proud of.
- While you may outwardly appear the same as others, you can manage to make people realize that you are a unique individual with unique experiences and ideas to share.
Part 2 of 3: Take action
Step 1. Find a new hobby
One way to be an individual is to find something you really care about and to make an effort to explore it thoroughly. If you still don't know your skills, you should try studying different subjects, taking up a sport, learning Japanese, devoting yourself to creative writing, painting with watercolors, tap dancing, or trying whatever else appeals to your curiosity. Finding something you love and pursuing your passions will help you improve your self-confidence and find new ways for you to express yourself.
When you try a new hobby, you can see if it can turn into a passion. You may find that you really want to become a writer, photographer, or dancer, and improve your confidence and beliefs about your skills as a result
Step 2. Explore your creative side
Not everyone has to be creative to be an individual. However, exploring your creative faculties can open you up to new ideas and make you more aware of your new possibilities. Try writing a short story, poem, comedy or novel, or creating a sketch with friends just for fun. Explore your artistic side and try your hand at drawing, pottery, oil painting or charcoal, just to find out what excites your imagination. You don't need to be particularly skilled at something, if you want to be an individual you should still have the will to try.
- Even if the most you can do is draw stick figures, by exercising the creative part of your brain you will be able to see the world in a new and original way. It is part of being an individual.
- Being creative can also help you discover new ideas you didn't know you had. You may never have thought of the world in a certain way until you've tried your hand at writing short stories.
Step 3. Accept the challenges
Another way to be an individual is to let go of your securities and accept the new challenges the world may bring you. Volunteer in an unfamiliar part of town, run for class president, or apply for a job you're not sure you're qualified for. Help a friend tackle a complex project. When you encounter a challenge on your way, don't shy away from it by staying true only to what you know, but make an effort instead of trying new things, facing new and difficult questions.
- True individuals are constantly growing and changing. They face challenges with courage and are committed to finding the best way to succeed, despite the complexity of the circumstances.
- Note that you don't have to try everything at once and say yes to everything, or you will be too busy to have time to grow as a person. But if you are afraid of experimenting with something new for fear of failure, the best thing you can do is accept the challenge and see what happens.
Step 4. Spend more time with those you admire
Another way to be an individual is to surround yourself with independent thinkers whose ideas and lifestyles you admire. You can learn a lot from people who are creative, interesting, and who aren't afraid to be themselves. If you spend all your time in the company of subservient people or people who don't have much to teach you about the world, growing as an individual will become really difficult.
This does not mean that you should distance yourself from all those who you find too boring, but that you should go in search of people who know how to stimulate and inspire you to be a better version of yourself
Step 5. Use your critical skills
True individuals are critical thinkers. They evaluate every aspect of a situation before coming to a conclusion, and use a broad knowledge base to be able to identify the best approach when it comes to coping with difficulties. They don't accept everything others say and do their own research, making sure they can reach the best conclusions rather than just a lazy or incomplete method of thinking.
- True individuals think outside the box and know that most situations are more complex than they appear externally. They don't accept everything they hear, even if it comes from a person they respect.
- Individuals always ask many questions and are not afraid to admit that they do not know all the answers. They know the best way to gather information is to always ask.
- Become more educated. Read every book you come across, from the complete work of Virginia Woolf or Franz Kafka to contemporary non-fiction related to historical events or modern science. The more you read, the more knowledge you acquire, and the more information you have at your disposal.
Step 6. Don't do things to please others' expectations
One of the reasons that could slow down the path that leads you to become an individual is the feeling of having to satisfy the expectations of parents, friends, partners or, more generally, of society. If you really want to be an individual, you need to do what's best for yourself, not what your parents expect you to do. Saying no to people, or admitting that your goals are different from theirs, could be tricky, but there is no other way forward.
- For example, if your parents want you to enroll in medicine because you come from a medical family for three generations, while you want to study creative writing, don't give up on your dreams. You don't want to live a life that isn't yours.
- Of course you shouldn't go against all societal expectations just to be an individual, but because you really believe that what you are doing is best for you. For example, if you decide to drop out of college, do it because you have a very good reason and not just as a simple act of rebellion.
Part 3 of 3: Developing Your Individuality
Step 1. Don't try to fit into a model
If you want to be a true individual, you can't think that you want to fit into a predefined category. You can't just be an athlete, a nerd, a hipster or a student. You have to break through the classifications to truly become a unique person. You can include elements of various models of people, but if you want to be a true individual you don't have to allow yourself to be identified in a role easily. Instead of trying to be a certain type of person, try to develop the qualities you admire.
You can date a certain type of people, but you don't have to worry about fitting into the group or looking, talking, or dressing exactly like those around you. Variety is the spice of life, and things will quickly get boring if you turn into a person like everyone else
Step 2. Develop your authenticity
To be an individual, you have to be authentic. When you are fake or put on airs, people feel it even from a distance. Rather than trying to be overly friendly, wearing clothes you don't feel like your own, or hanging out with people you don't really like just because you believe they will increase your popularity, you should make a commitment to truly be yourself, to wear what makes you feel. well and don't say something you don't believe in at all just to please someone.
- Before you leave the house, take a look in the mirror. Do you recognize the person you are looking at? If not, you better give more consideration to your appearance.
- Don't give bogus compliments just to flatter people. Instead, express your sincere opinion when you notice something you like in them, even if it is unconventional. When you are not sincere, people are able to notice.
Step 3. Be more honest
To be an individual, you must strive to be an honest person who is comfortable speaking the truth, even when circumstances are difficult. Avoid lying just to look better, sweetening reality when you believe people need it, cheating at school, or making your way unfairly. True individuals are genuine people who do not fear the truth and who are confident enough in themselves to express it.
- Don't lie about your cash holdings, earnings, and material possessions in general. You won't impress anyone and people will be able to spot your excesses.
- Of course, telling a good lie, for example by not letting your friend know that her cut is too stern, is perfectly acceptable in case it doesn't hurt anyone.
Step 4. Deal with correctable defects
If you want to be a true individual, you must have the will to improve yourself. You can't just accept every aspect of yourself, otherwise you won't have a way to grow and improve. While it is necessary to learn to accept those aspects of yourself that you cannot change, it is equally important to dedicate yourself to those flaws of yours that you consider correctable, so that you can evolve towards a more perfect version of yourself.
- Take it one step at a time. You don't need to make drastic changes right away. For example, if you are used to being late, try to be on time for a week, then for a month, and then make the new behavior a habit.
- Understand that dealing with major issues, such as trust issues, will take more than a few weeks. By creating a plan that will make you reach your goal, you will still be able to grow faster.
Step 5. Be more determined
To be a true individual, you need to be able to persevere and feel comfortable expressing your ideas. Speak clearly, be eloquent and look people in the eye when you want to reach the desired goal. Don't let others interrupt or discredit you, stick to what you believe while being open to suggestions. Don't let yourself be subdued by others and don't agree to do something just because you are too polite to refuse. Individuals know what they want and are not afraid to express what they think.
- If you have a strong belief in a topic, don't let others influence you just because you don't want to hurt their feelings. Openly state what you are feeling and explain why you feel.
- Learn to say no to people when you really can't or don't want to do something. Feel comfortable explaining that you are too busy to take on another task and not allow the reaction of others to hurt you.
- Speak with conviction. Instead of starting the sentences with “I think maybe…” or “It could be that…”, he utters firm statements such as “I will not work on another project with Karen”.
Step 6. Learn to laugh at yourself
True individuals are able to not take themselves too seriously and feel comfortable teasing themselves a little at the right time. They are aware of their flaws and accept that they are not perfect, and they also do not force others to treat them with excessive care. If you want to be an individual, when you state your beliefs, you need to learn to be comfortable laughing at yourself. Sometimes it is okay to leave seriousness aside, doing so will not affect your being an individual in any way.
True individuals grow and learn relentlessly. You cannot be a true individual if you take yourself so seriously that you cannot laugh at your imperfections, or if you are not conscious enough to want to change them
Step 7. Listen to your instincts
Listening to your instincts is crucial if you want to be an individual. Sometimes, on paper, something like a job offer might look great, but while everyone will advise you to accept it, you may experience an inexplicable choking feeling that indicates that this is not the goal you really want for yourself. If you really want to be an individual, then you need to learn to recognize those positive and negative feelings you sometimes have about situations and be able to choose to follow that instinct rather than logic.
