In or out of bed, newborn or dated relationship, anyone can become a better lover. Your partner deserves it! Read this article for some great tips and tricks to make your relationship more exciting and fulfilling.
Steps
Method 1 of 4: Being at Your Best
Step 1. Intimacy must be a priority
It is all too easy to get overwhelmed by everyday life and feel too busy to dedicate ourselves to intimacy, especially if we have been with someone for a long time. However, relationships that don't satisfy one or both parties can't last. Take some time to dedicate yourself to the intimacy of a couple and keep your fire going.
- If you have older children, you could tell them that you have had a really long day and that you are very tired, which is why you are already going to bed.
- If you have small children, put them to bed early.
- Avoid entering intimacy only sporadically, for example during a trip or fixing "evenings out" only a couple of times a year. It's not good for your relationship.
Step 2. Both parties must be in agreement
Make sure everyone involved is happy and absolutely consenting before you start getting serious. This is important for both men and women. If your partner is drunk enough to see giant purple mice, maybe you don't want to be too intimate. You have to get a "Yes", not a "Maybe".
Step 3. Forget cultural expectations
Don't expect sex to be like in porn movies, or even expect your partner to be a supermodel. And above all "you" don't pretend to be one of these things. This will only make you and the other person feel insecure and uncomfortable, and you won't enjoy the moment.
Step 4. Do your research
If you want to find out what your partner likes, do some research. Read some love novels written for its genre or read online articles to get an idea of what you might like and what you don't.
Step 5. Be attractive
This doesn't mean losing weight or having (insert body part here) bigger - your partner is staying with you because they think you are as sexy as you are. When we say attractive, we mean good hygiene. Wear decent clothing. Things like that. Weight is subjective but very few people get aroused by smelling week-old sweat.
Step 6. Watch your partner's reactions
Observe how he reacts to certain things. If it responds well to something you do, continue! If it seems uncomfortable, stop! Notice the little clues it gives you, like moving your hand to a certain place. You can also try to imitate the things he does because it is often a way of asking for something in particular.
Step 7. Slow down
Slow down anything when you are intimate. Achieving intimacy with someone is a slow process, which includes the subtle art of making out and other types of foreplay. Also slow down the act itself! This way you will extend and intensify the pleasure for all parties involved.
Step 8. Don't be selfish
You too, of course, need to enjoy the moment of intimacy, but focusing on your partner and making sure they are satisfied and well will improve your relationship over time and make him or her want to reciprocate too.
Step 9. Explore your partner
We all know where our partner loves to be touched, but don't forget to explore his entire body! People are sensitive in different places and to different touches. You may find that your partner loses his mind if you kiss him behind the knee! You never know!
Step 10. Become a master in the art of kissing
Being a great kisser is essential, and not being a great kisser can stifle any spark of passion. Learn to kiss before doing anything else!
Step 11. Spice things up
Don't let your intimacy become routine. Avoid using the same locations or the same seats or the same time of day. Routine takes away much of the romance and fun from anyone. Come out of the shell and revive the situation once in a while to keep the flame of love burning.
Step 12. Be open minded
Human sexuality, like most of the things that concern us, is very complex. We are all different. And precisely because we are different, the concept of normality is very broad. Never close yourself off to possibilities, as it may surprise you how much you and your partner like something you have never considered. Try new things, and if you like them keep doing them!
Method 2 of 4: Tips for Men
Step 1. You are not pressing buttons
Repetitive movements don't work in intimacy. Her genitals aren't elevator buttons that you can press repeatedly hoping to get something. Same thing for the nipples. Try circular movements and different presses, directions, movements, and everything will be fine.
Step 2. Find out what causes pleasure in women
Men feel something if the penis is stimulated, so it seems that women should be stimulated on the vagina, right? Unfortunately, it's not that simple! Most women do not experience who knows what pleasure from vaginal stimulation alone. Search Wikipedia for what the clitoris is.
Step 3. Be gentle, unless asked otherwise
When touching sensitive parts, you need to be gentle unless she specifically asks otherwise. Nibbling and pinching can be great for some women, but not all, and you certainly don't want to slap yourself.
Step 4. Talk
Guys, you know very well how much you love it when she makes all those moans. It makes you realize how much she likes it, right? But did you know that she also likes to hear you make those sounds (for the same I was dying)? Maybe not the grunts, because it's too caveman, but try saying things like, "Oh, that's great …"
Step 5. Raise the temperature
No, seriously, turn up the heat. Women find it hard to feel pleasure when they are cold, there are studies that show this. Slip under a thermal blanket or turn up the thermostat if she looks like she's having trouble and you've already tried everything else.
Method 3 of 4: Advice for the Ladies
Step 1. Don't hold him hostage
Don't use your intimacy as a weapon in arguments, and don't promise sex if you're not going to. It is cruel. It would be cruel if he did it to you and it is if you do it to him. It also doesn't work to your advantage, as it teaches him to associate sex with negative emotions and disappointments, things that will undermine your relationship over time.
Step 2. Get moving
The most common complaint of men against women is the classic "marble statue". Move while you are in those moments. Kids need less work, but that doesn't mean they don't need it. Keep moving your hands and legs, caress it, and every now and then you take the initiative and control the situation. You'll drive him crazy.
Step 3. Be natural
Remove your makeup and do not load your hand with hairspray. Guys are attracted to your softness and will get more aroused if they can run their fingers through your hair or kiss your cheek without getting a mountain of powder in their mouth. How disgusting!
Increase softness by shaving and hydrating the skin. We recommend a super moisturizing cream regimen
Step 4. Make him live out some of his fantasies
Guys watch porn. Almost everyone does. And they think a lot about sex. It's a fact. Since they do, they have ideas, fantasies, and things that turn them on tremendously. If you want your man to be a happy man, let him live out some of his fantasies once in a while. Wear a schoolgirl uniform. Play doctor. Talk about her fantasies and turn them into reality. You will surprise him.
- Just make sure the fantasies in question don't make you uncomfortable. Everyone must be happy!
- You can not judge, but still refuse a request from him. These things must be accepted by both sides.
Step 5. Wake him up
Being awakened by your soft body and your kisses can be a nice surprise for your man. You can do it on a Saturday or Sunday morning or be very spontaneous and do it in the middle of the night (when you're sure you can sleep late the next morning). He will like your spontaneity and breaking the routine.
Method 4 of 4: Out of Bed
Step 1. Focus on your partner
The person you want to show your affection to must become the center of all your attention. You will be a fabulous lover if the other person feels they are the only person in the world when they are with you. This is the impression you need to make when you start focusing on him or her.
Step 2. Be optimistic
You need to be optimistic when expressing your feelings, whether it's about him or her, the situation or the context in general. Be a positive presence that helps to see the best around her / him, especially of himself / herself.
Step 3. Listen
Listen and notice how the other person reacts to your attention at each step - the point here is to find the right rhythm so that the other person is able to hear, see and perceive your expressions of affection. It is about the other person, not about you giving the show - you must always focus on the other person and his experience in order to always improve it.
Step 4. Show your enthusiasm
You have to express positive feelings in such an overwhelming way as to involve the other person. Overwhelm her with a wave of positive emotions in order to make her perceive the beautiful things about herself and the world around her and she will be yours forever.
Step 5. Develop your sense of humor
Life is too difficult and complicated. Too often we get sucked into our problems and forget the beauty of the world. But that's exactly why our partner exists: to remind us of good things by making us laugh and helping us find the funny side in difficult situations. Be this for the one you love.
Step 6. Pay attention to the little things
If you really love those around you, and you observe them closely, you will begin to notice habits and gestures that you will eventually love. Most people notice these things after a long time, but if you start right away, you will be more loving towards the other person and you will feel closer to them.
Step 7. Compromise is sometimes necessary
We must learn to compromise. Being part of a couple means sharing. It is right that it should be so because love is sharing, it is growth. Treat others as you would like to be treated.
Advice
- If you really like making others feel better you could become the best of lovers… and others, in turn, will really love you.
- If you are not making progress, perhaps it is better to reflect on your intentions and the pace at which you relate to others: are you doing everything to get attention, are you not intense enough at the right time or perhaps too superficial to make a good impression?
- If you can have great self-awareness, you can also understand others better… and vice versa: easy and fun to do.
- Smile first, then ask …
