If you need to break the ice with someone or want to re-establish a relationship, this article will help you convince this person to communicate with you.
Steps
Step 1. Be approachable
Nobody will want to talk to you if they think you don't want to talk to them. Let the rest of the world know that you are open to dialogue using body language. In other words, you must:
- To smile.
- Look the other person in the eye and make contact.
- Untie the arms and legs.
- Lift your head and look around.
Step 2. Take an interesting object with you
It could be a weird ring, an interesting book, or a new haircut. Thanks to this ploy, you and the person in question will have something to talk about. Make sure you choose something appropriate for the occasion; you certainly don't want to be the person with a weird haircut at a banking convention.
Step 3. Realize that you will probably have to make the first move
People don't read your mind, so since you're the one wanting to talk, the ball is on your side of the pitch.
Step 4. Be aware of why you want to talk to that person
Before you go to someone to start a conversation, you need to know exactly what your purpose is. This allows you to avoid awkward silences, and you will know, even before you have started, where you want to go. If you want to meet a stranger, it would not be a bad idea to state your intentions right away: "I noticed the way you helped that old lady cross the street and I wanted to meet you." That way, while you are having a conversation, the other person won't have to wonder all the time what you want from them.
Step 5. Be positive when you go to that person and try not to wait
Whatever the reason she doesn't talk to you, smiling and greeting her amicably will increase your chances of having a positive interaction with her. It has been shown that people reflect themselves in their interlocutor during a conversation; going to her with an appropriate compliment and a nice smile will put the other person at ease.
Step 6. If the other person doesn't want to talk, walk away smiling
It is important to avoid going to someone with too many expectations, because that person may have just been involved in a car accident or simply be too busy, so they are not in the right mood to talk to you at that moment. The reason he doesn't want to talk may have nothing to do with you. If you walk away with a smile, you will show that you are classy and confident, and most importantly, you will leave the door open to talk to that person later or in another place if necessary. Also, if you want to talk to someone but recognize from the start that it is their right to refuse to talk to you, you are less likely to be upset if they turn their backs on you.
Step 7. Show interest in the other person before getting to the heart of the matter
Even if you want to settle a dispute with a friend, it would be rude to say "Hi, why didn't you come to my party yesterday?" Try to be courteous to put the other person at ease. Here are some ideas on how to do this:
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Make a comment on the environment you are in.
Wherever you are, there will be something interesting happening at that moment. Comment on how crowded the park is that day, or how the price of turkey has skyrocketed. In this way, you will be able to start a good conversation, because while talking about this and that, the subject of the conversation will be an experience that you will be sharing at that moment.
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Make appropriate comments about the other person.
Maybe, she has a new haircut. Did you notice she's reading a good book? Ask her questions about it; people like to talk about themselves. This is a good way to bond.
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Formulation of open-ended questions and supplementary questions.
The person may be shy, or it may be that making conversation is not their forte, so asking if they like sushi could end the conversation with a simple yes or no. By asking what you think about that new sushi restaurant you're both sitting at, you might instead get a more articulate response and start a more meaningful conversation.
Step 8. Get to the point
Once you have established a connection, it would be wise to ask the person what you wanted to ask them right away. If you have your purpose in mind clearly before you start talking to this person, you can express your thoughts exactly as you put it in your head: "I wanted to know your opinion about the possible developments of the bag", or " I noticed that there is some tension between us and I was wondering if there was a problem that I am not aware of."
Step 9. Exit the scene gracefully
When the conversation is over, it's polite to thank the person for their time or tell them you got something out of the conversation. If you both remain nearby after the conversation is over, you can still do so, just leave the door open to start talking again if necessary. Here are some examples:
- "I'm going to say hello to the others too. It was really nice to see you again. I'll send you an e-mail and maybe we can continue this conversation another time."
- "Thanks for your advice on the moon rocks and good luck with the continuation of your search."
Advice
- Keep in mind that if you tell someone you intend to call or send them an e-mail, it will be necessary to do so for real.
- If you are determined to try to get the other person to come and talk to you, try to put yourself in situations where having a chat is the norm: waiting for a tram, in the park or at a congress. You would be much more likely to come and talk to you in similar situations than in a supermarket, where everyone goes with a specific purpose and tries to hurry up to get on with their day.
- If you wait until you need to try these techniques with someone who is really important to you, you will probably be too upset and end up looking bad. Try to get to know as many people as you can to practice these steps, so you can easily use them when you really need them.
Warnings
- Avoid speaking ill of third parties to try to establish a connection, even if you just want to "joke." You would give the impression of being treacherous and rude, and you can never be sure that the man wearing those ridiculous socks is not exactly the brother of your interlocutor. Some "jokes" about the person you are currently talking to are also inappropriate.
- Be considerate of others. If you see that someone is worried or upset, don't try to force them to have a conversation with you. Even if they are willing to have a chat, don't keep them busy for long. If they seem to be getting bored, interrupt the conversation with dignity.
