It can happen that those who are shy by nature or suffer from social anxiety find it difficult to carry on a conversation. Even if you don't have a problem interacting with people, you may feel awe or have a hard time raising your voice so that others can hear you. However, if you become more confident, improve your vocal setting and learn to relieve stress, you will be able to interact more easily with your interlocutors and speak with a more decisive tone.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Making Your Voice Heard
Step 1. Adopt a posture that shows self-confidence
If you are shy of character, you can fuel your self-esteem by taking a more confident attitude, whether you are sitting or standing. Some postures allow you to communicate in a higher tone of voice, but essentially any postures with which you feel more relaxed and relaxed will do.
- If standing, place one foot slightly in front of the other and rest your weight on the back. Keep your neck straight and head up, pull your shoulders back and lean your torso slightly forward.
- If you are sitting, keep your back straight and lean forward slightly. Rest your elbows and forearms on the table and look towards your interlocutor.
Step 2. Breathe in order to optimize the output of the voice
If you are not used to speaking in a stentorian tone, try focusing on your breathing. By adjusting your breathing and maintaining an upright posture, you have the ability to open your chest and emit a louder, more commanding voice.
- Breathe in quickly and quietly, then breathe out slowly just before you start speaking.
- Try to relax your abdominal area while taking in the air, keeping your shoulders and chest as still as possible.
- At the end of a sentence, pause just before taking your last breath. Then, inhale so that the next sentence comes out naturally.
Step 3. Start with a calmer tone
If raising your voice makes you nervous, you will likely find it less difficult to start off in a quieter tone. Try to familiarize yourself with different intensities of voice and proceed to raise it gradually.
- Remember that it is better to speak softly and with some hesitation than not to speak at all.
- You don't have to force yourself to raise your voice. Stick to your timing until you get used to it, then start pushing yourself beyond your limits.
Step 4. Don't talk in a rush
Many people express themselves quickly when they are nervous or anxious. However, this can affect the clarity of what they are saying and even stutter or lose their train of thought.
- Try practicing with a tape recorder and listening to your voice so you know how fast and clear you are as you speak.
- You can also ask a friend to help you adjust the voice output. He will be able to advise you if you need to change the volume, pitch or speed.
Step 5. Listen to what others are saying
If you want to continue a conversation with someone, it is important to listen to what they are saying. Don't think too much about your answers, but try to focus on his words.
- Look your interlocutor in the eye and pay attention to what he is saying.
- React appropriately to what you are told. Smile at a funny joke, put on a frown if you hear sad news, and nod gently to show you're listening.
Step 6. Step into the conversation
If you wait for someone else to ask you for your opinion, it could be a long time. Sometimes, it is not easy, but by speaking, you will make it clear to the other interlocutors that you are interested in expressing your opinion.
- Don't interrupt anyone. Wait for a break to speak during a speech.
- Add relevant elements to the ongoing discussion, based on what someone else said. For example, you might say, "I agree with what David said, but I also think _."
Step 7. Learn to adjust the volume of the voice
By checking it, you will be able to speak more clearly and understandably. Try to maintain some awareness of the tone and topic you are illustrating. Again it might be useful to practice with a friend or a tape recorder.
- Instead of using a monotone voice, vary the pitch and rhythm of the words.
- Start with an intermediate shade, then turn it up or down as needed.
- Calibrate the volume. It needs to be strong enough to attract the attention of others, but not too strong to make them uncomfortable.
- After saying something important, pause and say your words slowly and clearly for everyone to hear your speech.
Part 2 of 3: Managing the Physical Symptoms of Shyness and Anxiety
Step 1. Drink some water before you start talking
In moments of fear, many people experience a dry mouth or a dry throat and become inhibited in front of an audience. If you are shy or anxious, have a glass or bottle of water handy so you can take a sip before speaking.
Avoid caffeine and alcohol if you tend to be nervous or anxious. Caffeine can increase stress, while alcohol can be addictive
Step 2. Relieve some stress
Shyness and fear often result in a sense of stress and pent-up energy. If you are too nervous to speak out loud, it may be helpful to release some of the built-up tension. Try saying goodbye and going to the bathroom. When you are alone, try to stretch and move your muscles before returning and resuming your speech.
- Stretch your neck forward, back and sideways.
- Open your mouth as much as possible.
- Lean against the wall and stretch your calves and adductor muscles (the inner thighs) by spreading your legs and shifting your weight first to one side, then to the other.
- Stand about 2 feet from the wall and do five quick pushups against the wall.
Step 3. Do deep breathing exercises to manage symptoms
Many people with severe shyness, fear, or anxiety experience unpleasant physical symptoms, including rapid heart rate, wheezing, mild dizziness, and a feeling of dread. Whatever your symptoms, you can calm down and reduce anxiety or fear by breathing deeply.
- Inhale slowly for a count of four. Breathe deeply with the diaphragm (under the ribs), rather than superficially with the chest.
- Hold the air with your diaphragm for four seconds.
- Exhale slowly, counting to four again.
- Repeat the exercise several times until you feel your heart rate and breathing slow down.
Part 3 of 3: Calming the Mind
Step 1. Question the thoughts that fuel your agitation
If you are a shy or nervous person, in moments of panic you may begin to have terrifying, seemingly real thoughts. However, by taking a step back and questioning them, you have a chance to break out of this vicious circle of doubts and fears. Ask yourself the following questions:
- What scares me? Is it a real fear?
- Are my fears based on real facts or am I imagining / exaggerating my fears?
- What's the worst case scenario? Is it that disastrous or am I able to handle the situation and recover?
Step 2. Try to have more encouraging thoughts
Once you've broken the chain of your doubts, you'll need to replace them with something more positive and encouraging. Remember that you can change your way of thinking and, consequently, transform your view of reality.
- Try to get rid of the thoughts that fuel your shyness and agitation by saying to yourself, "Shyness and fear are just feelings. They certainly aren't pleasant, but I have the ability to handle them until they are over."
- Think, "I'm an intelligent, kind and inspiring person. Even shy, but people will be interested in what I have to say."
- Remember the times when everything went well despite the shyness and nervousness. To build strength, try to think about the times you have been successful or have managed to overcome your fears.
Step 3. Do something pleasant before each meeting
This way, you can increase endorphin production, relieve stress and decrease anxiety. If you know that you will find yourself in a situation where you can't help but interact with other people and speak in a tone of voice that might make you uncomfortable, take some time to do something fun and relaxing.
You don't need a lot of time or special effort to slow down. Even a short walk, some soothing music, or a compelling book can help you calm down and relax
Advice
- Remember you need to be confident, not arrogant.
- Be confident and believe in yourself.
- Never cross your arms. Rather, place them on your waist or put them on your hips, otherwise you will look like a closed person who doesn't want to talk. Open arms allow you to communicate to people that you enjoy interacting with others.
Warnings
- By always talking loudly or interrupting other people, you may turn out to be a rude and unpleasant person.
- Don't make your first attempt if you are in the company of a lot of people or people who disrespect you. Gradually get used to a small group that you feel comfortable with.
