As soon as you arrive at a party, a cute girl - or even a small group - catches your eye. You would like to try an approach but are nervous about getting in the way or saying the wrong thing. Don't worry - talking to girls at a party isn't that hard. If you want to, all you have to do is start the conversation, get them interested and then wrap up. Follow these tips.
Steps
Method 1 of 3: Start the Conversation
Step 1. Get noticed
Before you go straight to talk to the girl or group of friends you should make sure that they notice you, so as not to take them completely by surprise. This will make the presentation more exciting. There are a couple of things you can do in this case:
- Maintain eye contact. Hook his gaze and smile before you leave him.
- Get close but not too close that you seem to be listening.
- Maintain positive body language. Keep your hands on your hips or use them to make gestures and give an impression of security. Try to appear open and ready for conversation.
- If you are among friends, try to laugh and be animated so that the girl notices that you are having a good time.
Step 2. Introduce yourself
Once the girl has noticed you it's time to reach out and introduce yourself. Do not waste time. You will seem more confident if you go to her shortly after you notice her instead of turning around until you have drunk enough to find the courage to talk to her. Here's how to introduce yourself:
- First, choose the right time. If the girl is having an intense conversation with a friend or if the whole group is laughing and having fun together, you can interrupt her.
- Once you have determined the right moment, walk with your head held high. Keep it short. Say your name and reach out to shake it if you want something formal.
- You can start with an innocent compliment. For example, "I noticed the earrings sparkling" rather than telling her she is beautiful.
- Wait for her to show up too. Tell her she has a nice name. If the girl is part of a group you can make all her friends laugh by saying that her name is unique or that it is that of your grandmother.
- Avoid clichés. Be yourself.
- Carry over your shoulder if you can. It will increase the chances of charming girls.
- Try to figure out if you are not wanted. If the girl doesn't tell you the name, doesn't reply and rolls her eyes bored, walk away before you undermine her patience.
Step 3. Start with a light topic
If she is receptive and wants to talk to you once the introductions are over, you can start with some innocent jokes to put her at ease. This is not the time to immerse yourself in a discussion about the meaning of life, but to have fun, chatting.
- Talk about how you both ended up at the party. If you know who gave it, you can exchange jokes about him / her.
- Tell yourself where you come from. Maybe it's something you have in common.
- Don't start talking about your career, wishes or plans for the future. Stay focused on the present.
- Make fun of it. If he's comfortable with you, a light teasing is a great way to lighten the conversation.
Step 4. Make her laugh
The best way to get the conversation going is to make a girl laugh. You will instantly put her at ease, leading her to open up to you. Making her laugh shouldn't be too hard if you're relaxed and comfortable with yourself.
- Make fun of yourself. It will prove to her that you are confident enough not to take yourself too seriously.
- If a song starts, try to make some funny moves. If she laughs, tell her, "I can do others too."
- Make her laugh with wit. If she says something funny, don't just say "Loud," but make a sharp comment that will make her laugh.
Method 2 of 3: Keep Your Interest Alive
Step 1. Ask her a few questions
Girls like to talk about themselves and something light will let you know if you're really interested in her. You don't have to take her to the third degree. Here are some ideas:
- Ask her if she has any animals. Girls like to tell about cats and dogs.
- Ask her what she does for fun.
- Ask for his opinion on something as minor as a movie you just watched or the music at the party.
- Don't go too deep. No talk about ambitions, relationship with parents or fears.
Step 2. Don't dominate the conversation
Women hate men who manipulate conversation. If you spend all your time talking about yourself, you will come off as arrogant and narcissistic and she will wonder why you hooked her if all you need is an echo. Divide the conversation equally or possibly give her a little more space.
- Evaluate how much you talk. Whether you're with one or a group of girls, your voice doesn't have to be the only one heard.
- If a group of girls are talking about something they don't know, don't say your opinion. Wait for the conversation to turn to something you can contribute to too.
- If you are talking to multiple girls, try to include them all in the conversation. Don't isolate any of them by making them uncomfortable. Once you get to know them better, you can dedicate yourself specifically to one.
Step 3. Be Charismatic
In this case, she'll want to talk to you after the party too. Being charismatic means giving off confidence, taking an honest interest in people and being able to get along with multiple people. Here's how you can do it:
- Be sure of yourself. Show yourself happy that you are by speaking enthusiastically about what life has given you.
- Show genuine interest. Be a good listener by maintaining eye contact and asking questions at the right time.
- Be versatile. Show that you can talk to not just one, but the whole group of friends. Those who are charismatic manage to enchant the audience.
- Make her feel special. Ask questions and comments that show that talking to her is something important.
Step 4. Use the party to liven up the conversation
If you run out of arguments, you can use being at a party as an advantage. Look around and use the guests or decorations as a starting point to talk to her. Eg:
- Talk to her about the other guests. If you both know almost everything, you can tell her how long and to what extent you have been participating in their lives.
- Use music as a topic. Once you've asked her if she likes what they're playing, move on to the genres she prefers.
- If there is food, ask her if she would like something to eat or drink. You will look like a gentleman.
- If there are people playing something, ask them if they would like a game. It is a great tactic for lowering the pressure in the learning process.
Method 3 of 3: End the Conversation Brilliantly
Step 1. Leave her wanting more
You should greet her just when the conversation is at its peak and you are giving her the impression that you could go on forever. While it may seem counterproductive to leave the conversation as soon as things go great, this is the best way to get her to remember you and want to meet you again. If you wait until the last minute to say goodbye, then she won't remember anything of the brilliant conversation you had.
- Tell her it was nice to meet her but that you have to go, or dedicate yourself to a few friends across the room. Be honest when you say it.
- Gently brush her shoulder or arm to show her that you are sincere.
- If you have to go because for example you have to play with your band, make sure that she understands that you are a well-rounded person, with many interests.
Step 2. If things go well, ask her out
If you've talked enough to understand that she's interested in you too, there's no harm in asking her out. If, on the other hand, you have talked to her with your friends, then you should set her aside for a while before making the next move. Do not be nervous. Remember that you are at a party and nothing should be taken too seriously.
- Be natural. Tell her that you enjoy talking to her and would like to get to know her better over dinner or over a drink.
- Tell her, "I'd really like to talk about it again but I have to go. You give me your number, so I'll call you and we'll talk again?"
- If you feel too pressured, ask her out with a group of friends or invite her to the next party.
Step 3. If it's not going well, walk away gracefully
You don't have to be the one who didn't understand the rejection, continuing to pester a girl who didn't want to have anything to do with you, or that ruined the reunion of friends who couldn't wait to get together for a while. As soon as you realize that you are not welcome, you should leave with your dignity still intact.
- Learn to recognize the signs. Eyes to the sky, gestures to friends for help, monosyllables = time to get out.
- Don't be embarrassing. Don't stress that you know you don't like it or that it's not okay. You will simply make things worse.
- Don't apologize for the intrusion. Unless you've been rude or entertained too much, you should smile politely and walk away.
- Leave her with a good impression. Tell her it was great talking to her and that you will see each other again.
Advice
- Learn something extra-curricular in depth. Whether it's guitar, singing, drums or the art of memorizing speeches or monologues; acting, magic or card tricks or any sport, keep an ace up your sleeve to talk about and show off with. More than one can also be useful, but you must have at least one specialty.
- Read books on the art of conversing with people and how to relax and disarm them. Having ammunition always helps.
- Never swoop on someone or act as a third wheel. The first thing can be really annoying and the second can bring you a lot of trouble.
- Learn to dance. Even if it's just for emulation, it can increase your chances: girls like people who can handle situations because it's a sign of confidence. If you are not capable, try to pretend skillfully.
- Always master the things you need to know. Dancing and conversation are a must. Learn how to start a conversation correctly and equally, know how to end it. Even if you won't immediately impress the girl in question, you will still leave a good impression.
