Would you like to have more confidence in yourself? Gaining confidence is possible. Most experts agree that self-confidence is a combination of self-esteem and self-efficacy. Start believing in yourself, your skills and your goals; adopting a positive attitude will help you overcome obstacles and stressful situations, while increasing the confidence you have in yourself. Set your goals by making sure they are achievable and prefer the company of self-confident and constructive people. The path you have taken will allow you to develop the self-confidence you have always coveted.
Steps
Part 1 of 4: Set Your Goals
Step 1. List your strengths
This is a simple task that will help you have a positive attitude, which is essential for maintaining self-confidence. Surely there are some areas in which you need to improve, it is the same for everyone, but often a lack of confidence comes from a low self-esteem. Listing the many positives in your life will help you overcome minor negativities. Here are some things you could include:
- Talents or Skills: This is not a competition, but simply recognizing that you have talent or are particularly capable in some areas, for example in art, business, sport or manual activities.
- Personality traits: Notice any aspects of your character that you feel proud of, such as your being a hard worker or your ability to always be thoughtful or imaginative.
- Results: those achievements you are proud of. Maybe you played in a solo concert, spoke in front of a large audience, baked an unforgettable birthday cake, or took part in a run.
Step 2. Understand your lack of confidence
Not having felt supported or listened to by the people who were close to you could be the cause. Commonly this sort of trauma occurs in childhood and arises from interactions with the family. Maybe your parents were constantly strict and did nothing but criticize and punish you. As a result, they may have prevented you from developing proper self-esteem and turned you into an anxious, hesitant, and fearful adult with low self-confidence. Likewise, those parents who are overprotective of their children do nothing but harm them by preventing them from trying, making mistakes, trying again and eventually achieving success. In this second scenario the children will turn into adults fearful of having any new experience for fear of failure.
- For example, if your parents have always criticized your efforts in school, you may have convinced yourself that you are not good enough and that you cannot achieve success in life. Additionally, you may believe that others do not think you are smart enough or determined enough.
- While your parents always prevented you from going out alone as a child because they feared you would be lost or kidnapped, as an adult you may have a hard time getting to places you don't know. The truth is that when we are wrong or lost we have an important opportunity to grow.
Step 3. Describe on a piece of paper the type of security you want to acquire
Do you want to feel confident in conversing with people or perhaps in public speaking? List the areas in which you want to develop greater self-confidence, you will have a clearer vision of what to do.
For example, you may want to feel more confident when you have to present a group project to the class or you will have to take the field to make your contribution to the team
Step 4. Create a simple action plan
Once you have determined which areas you want to gain more self-confidence, create a specific action plan that will allow you to achieve your goal. If you wish, write down the main points, start with small steps to gradually prepare yourself for the most complex situations and interactions.
- For example, you might write that you want to start a conversation with at least one person by the evening or you want to find the courage to ask a question during a class or business meeting. At that point you will need to practice talking to more people and asking more questions. In the process of gaining more self-confidence, practice is a key part.
- You may decide that you want to apply for three new jobs within the year or submit your application to two new schools. Alternatively, you could establish a smaller action plan; your goal may be to go out with friends once a week or to study a subject that interests you.
Step 5. Set small, measurable goals
Break down your main goals into multiple and specific goals to be able to keep track of your progress. Each achievement, however small, will allow you to gain new confidence in yourself. Make sure your goals are practical and achievable.
- For example, the following could be a measurable goal broken down into stages: Phase 1 - train for six months; stage 2 - run a half marathon; step 3 - train for another three months; goal - run a marathon.
- Writing and planning goals is key and increases your chances of success. In case of difficulty, review your plans by analyzing them based on your knowledge and experience.
Part 2 of 4: Gaining Trust in Yourself
Step 1. Gather the necessary information
Search your sources based on where you want to be more confident. Sometimes, to achieve your goals, you will need to receive formal education or training. As you can imagine, feeling safe driving an airplane without taking any flying lessons is next to impossible. Formal education will give you plenty of practice, which is also of great importance when it comes to gaining self-confidence.
Consider finding a mentor, signing up for a course, or reading the topic you need to learn more about to develop the skills you need to be successful
Step 2. Be positive and optimistic
To develop self-confidence, you need to stay focused and have a positive attitude. If you were constantly feeling criticized or if your efforts went unnoticed, you would tend to feel discouraged. Turn any doubt or negativity into a stimulus or a positive statement, create rituals that help you develop a favorable internal dialogue and constructive self-affirmations.
- For example, when you brush your teeth every morning, you look in the mirror smiling and say to yourself "Today I will give the best of me, I deserve to have faith in myself".
- Do the things you really enjoy. Listen to good music, visit an art gallery, play basketball with friends. Find out what you really like to do and do it frequently to prevent doubts and negative thoughts from reappearing.
Step 3. Find a support network
A negative external environment kills self-esteem. Surround yourself with people who can support your efforts to feel free to practice and develop your confidence without fear of being judged. Tell those around you that you have decided to take an important path for your life.
If you get stuck, don't hesitate to ask a friend or family member for help or support
Step 4. Focus on your strengths
Knowing that you have positive traits and qualities is good, but even more important is to emphasize and focus on your strengths every day so as not to fall back into the bad habit of doubting and criticizing yourself. List your talents in a note and keep it in a prominent place so you can reread it frequently. Recite a mantra or affirmation that helps you focus on your positive traits and abilities.
For example, every time you use the bathroom, look in the mirror and compliment yourself on your quality. You will help your mind memorize and remember what your strengths are and increase your self-confidence. Sooner than you think, you will find yourself more comfortable with yourself and immune to the opinions of others, essential qualities if you want to be a truly confident person
Step 5. Take calculated risks
In all likelihood, if you don't have a lot of self-confidence you tend not to take big risks. On the contrary, there are people who, due to excessive self-confidence, behave recklessly and recklessly. Find the right balance, then take risks calculated based on your abilities and the reality of the situation, your self-confidence will reap notable and well-deserved benefits.
The concept of taking risks varies from person to person. In your case, this could be attending a social event that you would normally feel scared of or confronting a petulant friend. Give yourself the opportunity to have fun in company or to alienate an annoying acquaintance
Part 3 of 4: Maintain Self-Confidence in Difficult Situations
Step 1. Learn to manage rejection
Understand that, as painful as it may be, rejection is part of life; it is always possible to overcome it and to pass beyond it. Learn to handle it gracefully, responding with polite words and accepting the situation. Respect the decisions of others, you will appear confident.
Do not give up. Just because you missed your chance this time to fulfill your purpose in a business or personal setting doesn't mean you need to stop trying. Turn rejection into an opportunity to learn and quickly turn the page
Step 2. Learn how to deal with bullies
Stand up for yourself and stand up to their abuse with the help of your support network, otherwise the bullies will keep harassing you. Face them by being brave and confident. Clearly tell him to stop bothering you.
Don't accept that abuse becomes a part of your life. Bullying and mobbing are harmful and dangerous; you have the right to live a life without bullying, even if that means having to speak to the principal of your school or your boss's direct manager
Step 3. Learn to deal with job interviews
When it comes to attending an interview, self-confidence is key. Employers are constantly looking for people who appear confident and capable. While it's easy to feel anxious and overwhelmed by such an important situation, one of the best things you can do is pretend to be confident. Gradually you will be able to feel more comfortable and take a truly relaxed and confident attitude.
During the interview, stand up for yourself. Don't just answer the questions, try to relate to the interviewer and clearly state your goals. You will appear centered and confident
Step 4. Learn to speak in public
Countless essays have been written on the art of preparing and delivering effective speech in public. As with most human interactions, one of the key elements of public speaking is self-confidence. Evaluate the following points in order to gain greater security in exposure:
- Be witty. Humor will be able to relax both you and your audience by relieving most of the tension. In all likelihood, the audience will also feel more engaged and will be more inclined to believe your words.
- Be confident. Even if you don't feel comfortable, take a confident tone and move confidently. Speak clearly and loudly and use your arms to emphasize the main points of your speech. Don't grumble, take a composed posture and avoid crossing your arms over your chest.
- Make eye contact. Your audience will feel more engaged and you will appear more confident. Identify the people who seem most engaged in the audience and focus on them, ignoring those who appear distracted.
Part 4 of 4: Take Care of Yourself
Step 1. Realize how important it is to take care of yourself
Often, when a person has low self-confidence, they take a careless attitude towards their own hygiene and health. Neglecting these aspects means guaranteeing a worsening of one's self-esteem due to the progressive distancing from the ideal that one wants to achieve.
Taking care of yourself properly allows you to break that negative cycle and boost your self-confidence
Step 2. Take care of your personal hygiene
Every morning dedicate some time to your personal care: take a shower, wash your face, put on clean clothes and take care of all those aspects that will allow you to face the new day with confidence. By the time you are ready to go out you will need to feel more confident than usual.
To keep your confidence high, repeat your routine every morning
Step 3. Take care of your health
Put simply, eat healthily by including whole grains, fruits, vegetables, dairy, and lean proteins in your diet. Limit your intake of alcoholic beverages, fatty foods, and don't overdo portions. Exercise several times a week.
Quit smoking, especially if you tend to use smoking to mask your discomfort in social situations. Being able to let go of this bad habit will help you gain more confidence in yourself
Step 4. Establish regular sleep patterns
Ensuring regular, quality sleep isn't always easy, especially during your high school and college years. However, make an effort to do your best to wake up and go to sleep at the same time each day. Note that you should wake up at least an hour earlier than you need to leave the house to get to school or work.
