Are you trying to figure out if you are ready to come out or would you like to let someone know that you have a romantic interest in them? In this case you can start giving clues that you belong to the LGBT community. You can hint at your sexual orientation in words and with stylistic choices. Just make sure you're ready for all possible reactions.
Steps
Method 1 of 3: Giving Verbal Clues
Step 1. Talk about people you find attractive
If you want to make your sexual identity known without talking openly, it's pretty easy to leave clues in a conversation. For example, imagine you want to let your best friend know that you are a lesbian. You can say, "Did you see the girl sitting next to me in biology class? I could get lost all day in those beautiful eyes!"
If you are bisexual, you can say: "I saw La La Land and I don't know who I liked the most: Emma Stone or Ryan Gosling!"
Step 2. Talk about the people you hang out with
Find a way to introduce your romantic relationships into everyday conversations. You can do it with friends or relatives. For example, if you'd like to declare yourself gay to your sister, start talking about dating. You can start by asking her how her relationship is going. If you're dating a man and you're gay, you can say, "He's a really good guy. I also hope I find a funny man like Marco."
You can also be less specific. For example, if you are bisexual you can say, "Intelligence is the most important aspect to me in a partner. I am much less interested in gender."
Step 3. Provide verbal clues if someone is hitting on you
In some cases, people assume you are heterosexual. For example, if you are a single woman in a bar, it is not unusual for a guy to come over to offer you a drink. You have every right not to want to talk about your sexual orientation with a stranger, so try to make them understand it with a few hints.
- You can say, "You're not really my type. It's nothing personal, but I'm sure you're not my type."
- Of course, if you like the person, you can play along!
Step 4. Talk about LGBT celebrities
Pop culture is a great way to naturally introduce the topic of sexual orientation. You can comment on famous people you admire who are LGBT. This is a great strategy for evaluating your relatives' opinion of who is not straight.
Try saying, "I love how Ellen Degeneres accepts her sexuality! Maybe someday I'll feel as safe and comfortable as she is."
Method 2 of 3: Using Visual Cues
Step 1. Put on clothes with the rainbow
The rainbow is part of the flag that represents the LGBT community. It is now a historical symbol, recognized by all. Try incorporating rainbow pieces into your wardrobe to show your sexuality with pride.
- You can wear a scarf, t-shirt, or even rainbow shoes.
- You can also wear rainbow accessories, such as hats or bracelets.
Step 2. Wear a shirt with an inscription
T-shirts are ideal for giving clues. You can wear them to express your solidarity with the LGBT community or to celebrate your sexuality. Only you can decide whether to confess your sexual orientation. If someone asks you a question about your shirt, it's a great way to start a positive conversation!
The most popular shirts have writings such as "Gender Roles Are Dead", "We Are You" and "Love Love"
Step 3. Use a photo of the person you hang out with as your phone wallpaper
You probably use your phone often and other people will notice the background image when you take it out of your pocket. If you're looking for a way to tell your parents that you have a same-sex partner, put a picture of the two of you as your phone wallpaper.
Choose a photo that suggests that you are not just friends. For example, choose a shot where you look into each other's eyes or hug each other
Step 4. Flirt with body language with someone you find attractive
Do you want to let someone know that you are interested in him, but don't know how to say it? For example, imagine you're gay, but you've never dated a man before. You can flirt without talking openly about your sexual orientation.
- Look the other person in the eye for a few seconds.
- Touch it spontaneously. For example, touch her hand when she makes a joke.
- Get close to her when you speak.
- Discourage the other person with your body language if you wish to reject them politely. Do not meet his gaze and turn his body if he approaches.
Step 5. Join LGBT organizations
There are many ways to show your support for the LGBT community! Try to find one to actively support those entities. For example, you could volunteer at events like the local gay pride, or you can offer to distribute brochures at a festival. People may ask you why you decided to participate and you can answer as you like.
Method 3 of 3: Accepting Various Reactions
Step 1. Accept that some relationships can change
Before giving any clues, consider that when a person learns that you are LGBT, your relationship may suffer. Some friendships change, but some can even get better.
- For example, the person you are interested in might understand that they too want to be with you.
- Some relationships can deteriorate and take time to return to normal.
Step 2. Think about how to break the news to your parents
Before you give them clues, make sure you are prepared to have an honest discussion if they ask you what they mean. Hopefully, they will support you right away. However, it can happen that they express shock, sadness or even anger once they know you are LGBT.
- Your parents will likely have a lot of questions for you. Prepare sources of information for them. For example, you can suggest that they visit the PFLAG website at
- Think of a safety plan to avoid taking risks. If you think there is a possibility that your parents will react negatively, plan ahead and find a safe place to take refuge. Ask a friend if you can stay with him for a couple of days.
Step 3. Find a support system
If you're worried about how people will react to your clues, it's a good idea to build a support network. If you've already moved in with a friend or relative, let them know that you may need more support in the near future. You can also ask the local LGBT community for help.
Step 4. Be patient as people process their feelings
In some cases, it takes others time to reflect and understand what their feelings are about your sexual orientation. Sometimes people will have a reaction, but they won't know what to say. It's normal. Give them the space and time to understand how they feel. Also consider that people won't always have a reaction to the news of your sexual orientation.
Accept that a change in people's reactions is normal once they have fully worked through the news. For example, a friend may initially walk away from you, but then resume normal behavior after a couple of days or weeks
Advice
- Giving clues is a useful part of the process, but it can confuse people if you continue too long. Get ready to come out and clear up doubts!
- Tell the truth to a friend who always supports you. If you feel like coming out, often the best first step is to talk to someone who will understand. You can choose your best friend, a doctor or a teacher.
